Holy Fuck, can we all agree that I need to put this whole cowbell obsession to rest, once and for all? Below I’ve listed the 6 CD’s that I put together for my sister for Xmas. It was a 2 month job, and I spent as much time on the flow of the tracks on the discs as I did hunting through my CDs to find them. I can’t say I did a great job, but 108 tracks of cowbell without relying on any typical classic rock tracks disqualifies any arguments against quality.

I named the collection Cowbell++ as a nod to the nerds* and made her color coded CD covers to make them look a little cooler. And even if you think the whole thing is retarded, who can argue with a title like “Cowbell++ Volume 2: The Wrath of Khow”?**

The first 2 CD’s make no distinction between analog and digital cowbell, but the last 4 are solely analog. No matter if you are a cowbell purist (ANALOG OR DEATH! DINK DINK!) or loose hiphop cowbell aficionado (Whatcha gonna do with all that bell, all that bell up in them jeans?), there should be at least a disc that you can appreciate.

I can easily say that this is the most time I spent on an present. The first 2 are for dancin’ when no one is lookin’, the second two are for drivin’ when no one is clockin’, and the final two are for seducin’ rich old timers when the nurse ain’t around. I’m proudest of the tracks on the first two, the covers on the second two, and the fact that I pulled the fifth and sixth out of my ass in a mere two days right before Xmas. And if you can believe it, there were actually a few tracks that didn’t make the final cut. With this post, I am officially putting the cowbell talk to rest. Happy Xma-birthday, Sis. Game Over.

*Putting ++ after a variable in some programming languages is a way to increment the variable. For example, if $x=665, then $x++ will increment $x to 666.
**The subtitle of Star Trek II was “The Wrath of Khan.”

Cowbell++ Vol. 1: WTF (What the Funk)?

1. Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back
2. Jay-Z – Big Pimpin’ (Feat. UGK)
3. Z Trip – All About the Music (feat. Whipper Whip)
4. Sugar Hill Gang – Rapper’s Delight
5. Beastie Boys – Hey Ladies
6. Marvin Gaye – Got to Give it Up
7. Stevie Wonder – Don’t You Worry ’bout a Thing
8. KC And The Sunshine Band – Sound Your Funky Horn
9. The Chemical Brothers – Orange Wedge
10. Aretha Franklin – Rock Steady
11. Ohio Players – Love Rollercoaster
12. Con Funk Shun – Too Tight
13. Gap Band – Steppin’ (Out)
14. Lipps Inc – Funkytown
15. KC And The Sunshine Band – Get Down Tonight
16. Dj Shadow – The Number Song (Cut Chemist Party Mix)
17. KC And The Sunshine Band – (Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty
18. Nelly – Hot In Herre
19. Lyrics Born – Do That There (feat. Cut Chemist)
20. Stevie Wonder – Pastime Paradise

Cowbell++ Vol. 2: The Wrath of Khow

1. Gap Band – Party Train
2. Chemical Brothers – Come Inside
3. The Chemical Brothers – In Dust We Trust/Song to the Siren
4. Missy Elliott – Work It
5. Shannon – Let The Music Play
6. Beastie Boys – Alright Hear This
7. Nelly – Na Nana Na (ft Jazze Pha & Jasper Cameron)
8. Newcleus – Jam On It
9. Nelly – Flap Your Wings
10. The Chemical Brothers – Chemical Beats
11. Chemical Brothers – Hold Tight London
12. Missy Elliott – Go To The Floor
13. N.W.A – Gangsta Gangsta
14. Chemical Brothers – Close Your Eyes
15. Barry White – Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe

Cowbell++ Vol. 3: Rockin’ Without Dokken

1. Fu Manchu – Ampn’
2. The Donnas – All Messed Up
3. Fu Manchu – Mongoose
4. Guns N’ Roses – Nightrain
5. Skid Row – Monkey Business
6. Cinderella- Shake Me
7. The Dirtbombs – Maybe Your Baby
8. The Donnas – You Wanna Get Me High
9. The Dirtbombs – Little Miss Chocolate Syrup
10. Southern Culture on the Skids – Voodoo Cadillac
11. The Donnas – On the Rocks
12. Guns N’ Roses – Mr. Brownstone
13. Fu Manchu – Separate Kingdom
14. Guns N’ Roses – Welcome To The Jungle

Cowbell++ Vol. 4: Rock… ’til you Drop

1. Fu Manchu – Blue Tile Fever
2. Fu Manchu – Urethane
3. Guns N’ Roses – It’s So Easy
4. Dirtbombs – Livin’ For The City
5. Fu Manchu – Time To Fly
6. Fu Manchu – Trapeze Freak
7. Son Volt – Drown
8. Southern Culture on the Skids – Fried Chicken and Gasoline
9. Dirtbombs – Do You See My Love (For You Growing)
10. Fu Manchu – Mega-Bumpers
11. Guns N’ Roses – Think About You
12. Beatles – Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey
13. Fu Manchu – Wurkin’
14. Fu Manchu – Freedom of Choice
15. Guns N’ Roses – My Michelle
16. Rage Against The Machine – Killing In The Name

Cowbell++ Vol. 5: Lounging Around

1. Perez Prado – If you knew Susie (Like I know Susie)
2. Esquivel – Cherokee
3. Tito Puente and Woody Herman – New Cha-Cha
4. Tito Rodriguez – The Magnificent Seven
5. Stan La Baum and His Orchestra – A La Salud
6. Yma Sumac – Gopher Mambo
7. Esquivel – All of Me
8. Jackie Davis – Glow Worm Cha-Cha-Cha
9. Martin Denny – Hawaii Tattoo
10. Laurindo Almeida & The Bossa Nove All Stars – Recado Bossa Nova
11. John Buzon Trio – It Must Be True
12. Jack Costanzo and Don Swan – Bei Mir Bist Du Schon / La Furiosa
13. Tito Puente and Woody Herman – Mambo Herd
14. Esquivel – Speak Low
15. Paris Combo – Moi, mon a me et ma conscience
16. Rinky Dinks – Choo Choo Cha Cha
17. Dean Martin – Cha Cha Cha D’ Amour
18. Tito Puente and Woody Herman – Tito Meets Woody
19. Yma Sumac – Taki Rari
20. Perez Prado – Ola Conga
21. Sounds Orchestra – Mas Que Nada
22. Los Albinos – The Swinging Conga
23. Mallet Men – 80 Drums Around The World / Dark Eyes / It Happened In Monterey

Cowbell++ Vol. 6: easy Does It

1. Esquivel – Carioca
2. Tito Puente and Woody Herman – Cha Cha Chick
3. Unknown – Rock Cha Rhumba
4. Lex Baxter – Voodoo Dreams-Voodoo
5. Martin Denny – Stone God
6. The Peter Loland Orchestra – La Cucarachacha
7. Walter Wanderly,Astrud Gilberto – O Menino Decse O Morro
8. Dick Hyman – The Minotaur
9. Esquivel – You Belong to My Heart
10. Perez Prado – Zelda’s Theme
11. Esquivel – Boulevard of Broken Dreams
12. Esquivel – My Blue Heaven
13. The Eliminators – Staccato
14. George Auld – You’re My Thrill
15. Laurindo Almeida & The Bossa Nova All Stars – Desafinado
16. Perez Prado and His Orchestra – Moniter Mambo
17. Georges Garvarentz – Haschisch Party
18. Henry Mancini – Springtime for Hitler
19. Walter Wanderly – A Nega Se Vingou
20. Ruben Calzado and His Orchestra – Chiquito