I’ve been known to get a little worked up over Hollywood’s agenda of burying my favorite childhood memories under a mountain of re-released garbage, but my anger is a Bic lighter compared to the napalm that these guys drop. From movies to comics to games to tech, they burn just about every geek franchise out there in under six minutes.
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Kids, imagine, if you will, a time when getting online consisted of dialing into a BBS with your 900 baud modem and leaving messages for the other dungeon masters. It was long before Facebook and YouTube, when meeting a potential mate meant hanging up your Cloak of Sarcasm and actually leaving the house.
Then along comes Video Mate. You break out your Beta max camera, make an audition tape that you think will make Chuck Woolery proud, and wait for the propositions to start rolling in. You have no idea that millions of people will see just how suave you are…a mere thirty years too late.
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If you can hear the Super Mario theme and feel like you’re home, then two things are true: you’re old and you’re a geek. Yesterday, while watching Attack of the Show, I saw a video of a radio controlled car playing the Super Mario Brothers Theme and thought it was awesome enough to add to my list of 44 Ways to Enjoy the Super Mario Theme.
After watching it a few times, I’m not so sure that I should’ve included it. The tones of the bottles during the test runs at the beginning of the video really don’t match with the tones when the theme is playing, making it seem like it might be a hoax.
What do you think? Is this a fake?
I don’t know about you, but every time I hear the Super Mario theme, I feel like a big nerd. It’s a theme that any gamer over a certain age can hum off the top of their heads, and when people put their efforts into playing it, I end up grinning like a dope.
And I’m not alone. Below are the results of sifting through hundreds of videos to try to find the theme played on as many instruments as possible. I ended up with 43 decent renditions, covering brass, woodwinds, string and percussion instruments. The top ten is below, and the full 44 is listed at the bottom.
Before you proceed, be warned that I claim no responsibility if the Super Mario Theme is still stuck in your head next Tuesday.
Update 4/16/08: The RC car video was added at #2, pushing “Flute (with beatboxing) out of the top 10. Technically, the list is now 45 ways.
10. High school band
The odds are extremely high that the only person in this video that was alive to play Super Mario Brothers when it came out was the teacher. And a high school band is obligatory in this type of list, anyway, isn’t it? You know it is.
9. Contrabassoon
There’s something about the sound of the contrabassoon that cracks me up. And Richard plays it for us fabulously, even though he can’t get the camera situated the way he’d like.
8. Two Electric Guitars
Two guitars. One kid. I haven’t seen anything like this since Satan unleashed his metal fury in Rock n Roll Nightmare.
7. 11 String Bass
When I form my world-conquering metal band, The Mighty Fist of Thor, this guy is getting an invite to audition. He will invariably deem the music to be below his abilities, get a PhD in Music History, and die never knowing the gratification that comes with doing twelve chicks from eleven countries at the same time in a tour bus hot tub. At least he made it to evil number six on the list though, right?
6. Balalaika (Russian folk guitar)
While this version isn’t played the most accurately, I have never seen anyone play a folk instrument with such a rock star attitude. And considering he’s playing the Super Mario Theme, I’m guessing the reason is either insanity or nuts the size of Titan. In either case, this guy is also getting an invite to the Mighty Fist of Thor auditions, assuming my agent can find his tiny village in Russia.
5. Alto sax
Notice that this kid is not only in the standard rock star stance, but he plays the song in the style of Lisa Simpson.
4. Ballpoint Pen
While not yet accepted as a standard orchestral instrument, the ballpoint pen takes slot number 3. I think my favorite part of this is the “This is just an ordinary pen” move at the beginning, as if he’s about to do some sort of remarkable magic trick with it.
3. Beer Bottles
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” Oh no? Well, it gets you famous on YouTube, now doesn’t it? Yes, and it gets you the number two slot on this list.
2. RC Car and Bottles
Take a lot of bottles, a radio controlled car, an underground garage, and the Japanese and throw them in a blender and you know that something awesome is going to be unleashed. This was a late addition that knocked “flute (with beatboxing)” off the top ten list, debuting at #2.
1. Tesla Coil
These guys jack it up to 88 miles an hour and play the Super Mario Theme with 1.21 gigawatts of power. Seriously. How can you beat that? 1.21 gigawatts!? 1.21 gigawatts!? Great Scott! the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is… Mario.
If you haven’t gotten enough, yet, continue on. I take no responsibility for any further damage you do to your nerdy little synapses…
Accordion
Acoustic Guitar
Alto Horns
Alto Sax, see #5
Ballpoint Pen, see #4
Banjo and guitar
Beer Bottles, see #3
Balalaika (Russian folk guitar), see #6
Brass Quartet
Cello
Church organ
Clarinet Quartet
Contrabassoon, see #9
Cornet
Drums
Electric Guitar
Electric Guitar x2, see #8
Electric Bass
11 String Electric Bass, see #7
Erhu (Chinese Violin)
Euphonium and Saxhorn
Flute (with Beatboxing)
Flute and Clarinet
Harmonica
High School Band, see #10
Mandolin
Marching Band
Mouth Harp
Orchestra
Piano
Radio Controlled Car with Beer Bottles, see #2
Rock Band
Ruler and Table
Saxomophone
Stage Production
Tesla Coil, see #1
Trombones
Trumpet
Tuba
Ukulele
Upright Bass
Violin
Viola
Vocals (A capella)
Xylophones
Did I miss your favorite instrument? Drop it in the comments.
Can you believe that it’s been over a year since the Megalist of Actors Turned Singers? Neither can I!
Instead of only being able to look at the album covers, did you ever wish that you could hear some of those actors in all their craptastic glory? Neither did I!
But who cares what we want? This is the interwebs, bitches! It’s all about what the kids want, and the kids want Hasselhoff slow jams to make out to. And I’m not here to argue, I’m here to deliver the goods.
I added all the artists from the megalist that I could find. If I there are more that you know of, I’m really not sure you should tell anyone.
Enjoy!
(on a side note, I will be joining several other music nerds in putting out monthly FineTune themed playlists. The first round of these is themed “High School Years” and is slated to be released next Friday, June 1. If you’d like to join in, get a free FineTune account and start building your list. Make sure to drop me a line to let me know you’re in, so that we can all cross link you up.)
1010. There are pony tails, but not enough Choppers to justify them.
1001. There’s a lot of expensive equipment, a fire pit, a lot of drunk people, and nothing gets broken.
1000. There are more technical people present than work at a CompUSA, and all of them would agree that calling CompUSA workers technical people is arguable at best.
0111. There is a ten foot by ten foot professional outdoor movie screen, which is attached to a Playstation2 that is surrounded by a driving wheel and “Guitar Nerd“.
0110. The opening movie is still in theaters.
0101. A planned Double feature turns into a quadra feature, with The Big Lebowski and Aqua Teen Hunger Force featured and quoted relentlessly.
0100. “What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?” doesn’t go over many heads.
0011. Someone asks how you “boot up” the hot tub.
0010. On at least 2 occasions “KHAAAANNNN!!! is heard screamed for no reason.
and the number 1 clue that you’re at a really good nerd party:
0001. Someone drives home at 1 AM specifically to bring back a copy of the Star Trek 2: the Wrath of Khan. And gets cheered for it.
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