I’ve been moderating channels for the Democracy Player for a month or so, and I’ve been on a tear to find independent web TV that I can watch instead of cable. There’s a ton of video that I’m still sifting through, but I’ve been amazed at how many quality web TV shows that I have queued up for when I have a spare minute. And thanks to the Democracy Channel Guide, the list keeps growing.

There is quality independent content out there. It’s just sort of difficult to find. Because it’s the end of the week, I thought I’d save you some searching and hook you up with a few of the series that I’ve come across recently.

We Need Girlfriends

Out of all the videos episodes I’m watching right now, this is one of my favorites. It’s about three nerds who need girlfriends.
We Need Girlfriends

Good Morning World

This is a daily show that spoofs the idiocy of morning shows.
Good Morning World

Who’s Gonna Train Me?

This is technically indy, but it is produced by VH1, so I’m not sure if it counts. This is a series that chronicles a reality show about a boxer looking for a trainer.
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3

Sockbaby

Sockbaby is a pretty neat little 3 part video from 2004 that spans about 15 minutes in total. The fight scenes are pretty good for an indy film, and it’s a shame that it never made it past 3 episodes.
Sockbaby

L33t Haxxors

This is a completely silly four part series about, you guessed it, Elite Hackers.
L33t Haxxors

Planet Unicorn

“In the year 2117, an eight year old gay boy named Shannon found a magic lamp. He was granted three wishes. The first: A fur jacket. The second: a flying car. And the third was a planet. full. of unicorns. This is the story of that planet.” Are you sitting there with your fucking mouth wide open? Wait until you hear the theme song.
Planet Unicorn

If you have an indy web series that you watch, drop it in the comments.

This morning, this song suddenly popped into my head within minutes of waking up. It’s now 13 hours later, and no song has been able to dislodge it.

Before I lobotomize myself, I am not only going to embed the song in your head, but I will attempt to use positive association to keep it there for a while.

I do this purely to be a douche.

There are no swears, nudity or gore in the video above, but I wouldn’t exactly call it safe for work. And you know the track was added to Earworm Hell.

I have no idea what is going on with this site, but we might as well ride this Viking Metal trend all the way to Valhalla!

Amon amarth: “The Pursuit of Vikings”

You know you want to know what it sounds like. Go ahead. Click and join.

Shannon the Talentless Viking Whore

Proof that if you don’t have talent, you can get by by whoring it up. Yes, that’s Sulu in there.

Norse Mythology & Black Metal

This was taken from the awesome documentary, Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey. It’s like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black.

Viking Kittens

It’s old as Ymir, but if Odin had sent these bad boys, I may have gotten my BestBuy card.

Bonus Video!: Metalocalypse Episode 1

If you like the metals and are not seeing yet of the Dethklok show, then you should be to seeing it. It’s for the metals.

Double Bonus Video!: Metalocalypse Episode 2

Dethklok records their latest album not in the ocean, but inside the ocean in the heaviest, deepest, most brutal part: The Mariana Treeeeeennnncccchhhh.

Making my triumphant return with minimal effort…

Ever since I set up that Novelty Radio station on FineTune, I’ve been walking around with the chorus to The Ballad of Chasey Lain stuck in my head. Yesterday, I happened to be walking around singing both the lead and backup parts while getting ready for work. Because I tend to make up a lot of random songs around the house, #1GF! just gave me a look indicating that I should stop.

“What? It’s not my fault. It’s a real song and it’s stuck in my head.”

I don’t know why, but the words coming out of my mouth somehow became slightly more acceptable just because I hadn’t made them up.

For those of you who want to be stuck with a chorus in your head that you can’t sing at work, go ahead and watch the video below. Then get back to me on Monday as to whether or not you’re still humming it. Over the last few days, it has wiped out any earworm that I tried to replace it with.

When you walk up behind your headphone-wearing coworker and say rather loudly in your best 80’s heavy-metal singer voice, “ARE YOU READY FOR LUNCHAAAAAAA!”, your smile is going to fall away faster than Cinderella’s position on the Billboard charts when he turns around and you realize:

A. The headphones are actually a headset connecting said coworker to a conference call with a large client.
B. The phone is not on mute.

After mouthing an apology, you are then free to mentally blame said coworker for leaving said phone unmuted with certified rockstars like yourself freely roaming the halls.

No, seriously.

(If you suddenly feel the need to hear Cinderella’s cowbell rich “Shake Me”, as featured in Cowbell++ Vol. 3: Rockin’ Without Dokken), the video is presented below.)

So, I was sitting there reading a post over at Notes of Chaos that introduced me to Dokaka, a Japanese beatboxer who does cover songs using only his voice as an instrument. JUD JUD did a similar thing years ago, but I have to applaud Dokaka’s increased complexity. I ended up cracking up every time I listened to his rendition of Metallica’s “Creeping Death”, so I went on a hunt for more of his stuff. In my journey around the wild, wild web, I came across a few additional covers that I thought I should post.

Creeping Death - Metallica (Original)

This is the original Creeping Death by Metallica. The video is merely the song played over a picture of the album cover. It’s not too exciting, but it was the best sound quality I could find, if you’ve either never heard the song or needed a refresher.

Creeping Death - Dokaka (Cover)

This is Dokaka’s all-vocal version:
Creeping Death covered by Dokaka

Creeping Death - Apocalyptica (Cover)

In searching out Dokaka, I came across Apocalyptica’s cover of Creeping Death. While not as interesting as Dokaka’s, I thought It was worth putting up because it’s an all cello rendition.

The Trooper - Iron Maiden (Original)

This is the Original Trooper video by I. Ron Maiden. It’s a classic, but again, it’s just presented to give you a feel for the original, if you’ve never heard it.

Dokaka - The Trooper (Cover)

Here is Dokaka’s all-vocal version:
The Trooper covered by Dokaka

The Trooper - The Gauchos (Best. Cover. Ever.)

And here, my dear readers is the crown jewel of today’s post. If you don’t watch or listen to anything else in this post, please do yourself a favor and watch this. Gems like this are the reason that I sift through hours of video. Just from the picture, you can see that The Gauchos are four little kids. Even if you hate heavy metal, you have to appreciate their talent. And if you can’t do that, turn down the volume and just watch the little girl fronting the band.

I’ve spent days thinking about the advancement of web video as a substitute for television lately, and I’m only at the notes/research stage of a post on the topic. One of the things that I’ve been doing is doing a lot of surfing to see if there are enough quality, independent, DRM-free, legal, web-based shows and movies available to make the idea viable.

In my travels, I came across this video that I couldn’t wait to share.

The video is a mocumentary about a man named Phillip Rockhammer and his bid for the National Staredown Championship. Not only is it a quality movie that you can watch in its entirety online, but the director, J.R. McCord, has made the film available for download in both DVD and IPod formats for free.

This is the trailer:

For the full movie, head over to UnflinchingTriumph.com.

Beyond enjoying the movie, I found McCord’s Director’s Manifesto to be inspiring:

“For too long the aggression of the Hollywood mainstream movie industry has remained unchecked. It is simply unjust and un-American that the entertainment of so many is left in the hands of so few. And it is this few that seems to abhor the average viewing public consistently putting out trivial garbage and then having the audacity to charge upwards of ten dollars a pop to see said garbage. Their greed has ruined all that was once good about the movies. But it doesn’t have to be that way, and it is my goal to prove it.

My plan is to use the power of the Internet to create an entirely new and completely free distribution model for movies. I intend to make exactly $0 from this project. My goal is not money, but instead entertainment and I will go to great lengths to make sure this movie is available to all free of charge.

Hopefully this movie will help inspire others to break the Hollywood stronghold, but until then please enjoy ‘Unflinching Triumph.’”

It’s refreshing to see ideas that are usually expressed by content consumers being expressed by a content creator.

Official Staredown rules can be found at the National Association of StareDown Professionals site (a sort of easter egg at the end of the movie).

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I sit through Wilford Brimley’s commercials just to listen to his unique pronunciation of the word, “Diabetes”. If someone remixed one of those commercials and made him nod and drum along, I’d watch it a few times. If I found multiple versions, I’d link to them on the interweb for you guys. Seriously, do the kids work these days or do they just fool around with the myspace and the youtube? Diabetisss. DyerDyer DyerDyer DyerDyer Beetis

Wilford Brimley - The Beetis

Wilford Brimley’s Beetix Extravaganza - Remix Vol. 2

Seriously. I’ve never understood the draw of D&D, but someone asked me to find some of the D&D related clips that I had found in the past. I found the old ones, and tacked on a couple of new selections to get you through today. You’re not paying attention, anyway. You don’t want to start anything new, and you’re short-timing because of the holiday. Give in and let the sloth wash over you.

Dungeons and Dragons Nerds

I originally mentioned this way back in 2002, but the original link points to a deserted island in this tumultuous sea that we call the internets. Because it’s a slow fucking week, I dug up a fresh youtube link, and re-posted for those people that I know that aren’t in on the joke, yet.

Family Guy Role Playing

We had also been talking about a recently aired repeat of the family guy that contains Dungeon and Dragon references. This clip was previously posted in June.

Exclusive Connections: Geek Phone Sex

SNL’s spoof. Pretty much safe for work, and unlike the next two clips, it’s worth a watch. “What’s that, baby? You’re a level 5, evil, chaotic half-orc? Ohhh, that makes me so hot.”
[Video removed from youtube]

Stephen Lynch D&D Song

This is a golden oldie in internet time, reworked with Machinima. Is it worth your time? Meh.

I’ve been itching to get the video at the bottom of this post online for a week now, but I keep getting sidetracked by other posts…

1337$p34k Danger

I guess “It’s part of a complicated, and experts warn, potentially dangerous code designed to keep parents in the dark…” was a better hook than “It’s as complicated to crack as Ubby dubby and it’s used to compensate for poor typing skills.” I swear, if they did a story like this about Ubby Dubby in the 70’s, the newscaster would’ve been laughed out of a job. This is the state of journalism, today.

Nintendo Wii Rejected Games

This is an oldie, but it’s a few games that those jobless bastards who stood in line for a Wii won’t be getting this year.

PS3 vs. Wii

A recent commercial from G4 that makes fun of the PC vs. Mac adds. And the Wii. And the PS3.

Jedi Breakfast

If you don’t watch any of the videos in this list, at least watch this one about Doug the Jedi. Even #1GF! was laughing at it despite it’s wholly geeky subject matter. If Youtube happens to be blocked where you are, try this alternate link.

Nimoy & Shatner

Don’t ask me why, but while waiting for the Democracy player to download some Attack of the Show episodes, I found myself perusing The Ultimate Leonard Nimoy Music Site. While I will admit to owning both Shatner and Nimoy albums, I would not go so far as to encourage you to download a copy of Spaced Out - The Best of Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner if you happened to come across it in Google’s cache.

Lucille, Are You a Lesbian?

I would, however, fully encourage the downloading of
Music Nerve’s In With the Out Crowd Podcast, which I ran across while trying to remember who sang “Lucille, Are You A Lesbian?” What this DJ lacks in professionalism, he makes up with a plethora of strange musical classics. Included are Lucia Pamela’s “Walking on the Moon”, Wesley Willis’s “Rock N Roll McDonalds”, T. Valentine’s “Lucille, are you a Lesbian?” (26 min in), The Fabrications’ “I’m Sorry (I neckpunched your man)”, and a number of others. If you are a fan of musical oddities, you may have heard a number of these already, but that doesn’t detract from the fun. If you’ve never heard them before, oh man, are you in for a treat.

People’s Court Freak

And if that podcast was a weirdo sundae, this People’s Court video would be like the cherry on top. I can watch this video over and over because the guy just seems like he doesn’t have to put in any effort to come off like a genuine freak. Even the bailiff is laughing in the background. My favorite part? The guy’s answer to “What’s the hardest part about being you?” was simply, “Mustache.”

Yea. By the time you read this it will probably be Friday, and you’ll be aching for something to take you away from that mind-numbing job of yours. Dig in to the Youtube goodness.

Australian Idol Beatbox

I am a sucker for a good beatboxing video

Cavity Creeps

Another addition to the YouTube Museum of Television. We make holes in teeth! We make holes in teeth!

Hardcastle & McCormick Intro

Yet another addition to the YouTube Museum of Television. Don’t click unless you want this theme eating you alive for the rest of the day. You’ve been warned.

Spock Phone Message

A younger version of me had this on my answering machine for a while.

George’s Phone Message

A younger version of me had this as an answering machine message, as well.

The Greatest American Hero

(Late Addition) I included George’s phone message, and I forgot to add the original theme to that craptastic TV show, the Greatest American Hero.

Ok Go

I don’t think I’m hip enough to know who “Ok Go” is, but there is something about them dancing to their indy rock that seems so wrong that I can’t look away. The choreography seems like it should be backing up some R&B artist.

Ok Go Dancing on Treadmills

The title pretty much says it all.

Bonus Footage From Google Video! I can’t stop. Send help.

Mr T. Treat Your Mama Right (where did he pull that microphone from?)

Baby Beyonce

EVO vs. Lamborghini vs. Fiat.

Driving like an a-hole in Heavy Traffic

Weed Whacker as a foreign object (Proof that backyard wrestlers have no brains.)

Girls who fight better than boys (I didn’t want to post this, but I mentioned to some people and they were as amazed as I was. I don’t condone fighting, but I’ve been in a lot of them. These girls are brutal. It’s not slapping models tearing their tops off. These girls fight like boys, which makes it even more disturbing. Every time I went to shut it off, I just kept watching. It’s like a trying not to look when you drive by a car wreck.)

Thanks to a dinner party this weekend, I was introduced to the remakes of old G.I. Joe Public Service announcements. They used to follow the G.I. Joe cartoon and would tell us kids not to play with live wires and how to get off thin ice.

Two things I know: I have been busting a gut about Mr. Body Massage, and women do not seem to find these things funny at all. From various sources:

• Skier
• Nosebleed
• Mr. Body Massage
• Carnival
• Others from Fensler Films