Shotgun CD reviews are short reviews on CDs that you can usually pick up for $10 or less. For further explanation, check the FAQ
Jerry Reed - The Essential Jerry Reed (country): You may know Jerry Reed as the actor who played “Cledus ‘the Snowman’ Snow” from Smokey and the Bandit, but did you know that he was the song writing talent behind the movie’s soundtrack? He was. The catchy style of “East Bound and Down” was all Jerry Reed, but Reed has had a long career of writing funny, upbeat country tales. Even though the songs come off as jokes a lot of the time, Reed’s guitar picking is not. Chet Atkins considered him to be on par with the best country finger pickers out there, but I think that because Reed wrote songs that were so clever and fun, the average listener never really noticed the music underneath. This album contains all of the fun hits you could need from Reed, and a few of those melodramatic country love songs that only could come from the 70’s. It’s a lot of fun on the surface, but it’s a guitar album under the hood. B+
This week, I sat through about ten minutes show called Extreme Dating, which was so good that it was being broadcast at the prime slot of 6:30 AM. The premise was that two people go on a date, but one of them has an earpiece that is connected to the other’s exes. The exes then try to ruin the date by feeding questions and insider information.
This episode had an extremely high-maintenance Swedish girl who was looking for a guy to read poetry to her all day and wait a mere six to eight months while she
The Halloween season is approaching fast, so get a jump on it and gather up your best tunes to ensure that those end of the month Halloween parties sound spooktacular!
Brothers and sisters! Lay down the tools of your trade and take the red pill! Stop kneeling before your almighty boss. Bite the hand that feeds you. Stand up, walk out of the maze, and face the fact that there never was any cheese.
Understand that you have been conditioned throughout your entire life to do one thing: comply.
Stop submitting to people that don’t deserve it. Stop trading the only thing that matters and the last thing you have left to barter with: your time. Give up the myth that menial tasks matter and that there is a gold watch waiting for you in the end. Stop being treated like a number that can be tossed aside the minute you stop adding up.
Understand that the main reason you need that job is to buy things to replace the happiness that it drains out of you every day.
You only have a few days left to get in on the latest edition of FineTune Friday. This month’s theme, Summer’s Over: Back to the Grind, will be trudging in on Friday, September 7.
If you want in on the fun, get a free FineTune account and create a 45 song playlist from the FineTune library. On September 7, post your station to your site and drop me line so I can add your link to the list.
If you haven’t joined in on a FineTune Friday in the past, now’s the time to start. It’s fun, free, and easier than blackmail at the office Christmas Party.
Shotgun CD reviews are short reviews on CDs that you can usually pick up for $10 or less. For further explanation, check the FAQ
Jimmy Smith - House Party (jazz): My first exposure to Jimmy Smith was on his ridiculously funky album with Wes Montgomery, Dynamic Duo. The handful of Smith’s albums that I have picked up since have been good, but I’m always disappointed because they lack the original funkiness that drew me to Smith in the first place. Smith plays his Hammond organ alongside both Lee Morgan and Art Blakey on this one, making House Party a very smooth and enjoyable ride. It may not be funky, but it’s still good. B+
Junior Brown - Guit With It (county): While his deep country voice and clever lyrics may be typical of classic country, Junior Brown’s guitar and the way he plays it are certainly not. His guitar, called a “guit-steel”, is his own design which combines a steel slide guitar and an electric guitar on a single body. This allows him to switch between the slide and fingerpicking during songs with minimal effort.
I had the luck of being able to see Junior Brown and his guit-steel a number of years ago, and it’s really amazing to watch him effortlessly alternate between the guitar and steel. He is really a master of the twangy, classic country style, and this album is a typical showcase of his talent. If I’m in the mood for Junior, it’s a great listen, but I inevitably feel like I should be driving a big rig in a 70’s movie. If you’re a fan of classic country, or of Junior’s other efforts like Semi-Crazy or Long Walk Back, then this is guaranteed to tickle your fretboard. B
Boris - Amplifier Worship (doom): The beginning of this album starts with a woman talking who is interrupted by what I can only describe as a nuclear bomb exploding through an amplifier. What follows is an hour of repetitive, downtuned drone and screaming in Japanese. Given that there are only five tracks on the album, you can be assured that the periods of drone are long and nondescript enough for me to completely forget that it’s on. I really liked Akuma No Uta, but this is largely forgettable drone. C-
Paul Anka - Rock Swings (swing): I know what you’re thinking “Fuck you, Dyer. You have your head squarely up your ass if you think I’m going to sit here and listen to you review some novelty pop cover album by wrinkly, old Paul Fucking Anka. You have lost it. P.S. - Fuck you, man.” Ok. Ok. I don’t blame you, but hear me out. This may be a novelty cover album, but it’s really good. The first track that I heard off of it was a cover of Survivor’s “Eye of Tiger”, and it took me until the chorus to figure out what I was listening to. Once I did, I burst out laughing because I didn’t see it coming. Even though the originals of most of these songs make me want to put an ice pick in my ear, the Anka versions make them not only palatable, but enjoyable. Anka seems to have put in a lot of effort into selecting and arranging the tracks to really bring out the lyrics more than the originals ever did. This isn’t a Tony Bennett “Unpugged and Washed Up” or a Pat Boone “No More Mr. Nice Guy” joke album. There isn’t a novelty quality to it, and it’s really worth a listen. B+
Descendents - Somery (punk): This is a “best of” compilation of the Descendents’ material prior to 1991, and I think it’s the third abum of theirs that I’ve picked up this year. The album is 28 short San Francisco pop-punk tracks crammed into 55 minutes, including both “I Like Food” and “Weinerschnitzel”, which were my introduction to the Descendents when I was a mere teenager. If you haven’t read my reviews of other Descendents albums, such as Everything Sucks and Cool to Be You, reading them will give you a better feel for what the band is about. I was lucky enough to grab this one for $1.75, although it’s typically difficult to get on the cheap. B+
Shotgun CD reviews are short reviews on CDs that you can usually pick up for $10 or less. For further explanation, check the FAQ
Milt Jackson - The Wizard of the Vibes (jazz): If you’ve ever bought a jazz album, you know that a lot of them top out at five or six tracks long, even when you include alternate takes. This album, on the other hand, contains seventeen tracks, only four of which are alternates. It was recorded in two sessions in 1948 and 1952, and contains not only all of the players that would later become The Modern Jazz Quartet, but also includes Theloneous Monk on piano for half of the album. If you’re a sucker for the vibes, it’s a very relaxing pile of fun. Grab a martini, and play it while looking at the city lights from the window of your space age bachelor pad. B+
DJ Nu-Mark - Hands On (dj): This is the first and only solo album from ex-Jurassic 5 DJ Nu-mark, and while the first half of the disc is a smooth, continuous DJ set, there is nothing that really stands out about it. It’s mixed so that you don’t notice the transitions between tracks, but then again, so were those old K-Tel continuous party records, which no one really considers to be impressive. Somewhere in the middle, the album’s blandness is suddenly and inexplicably replaced with a multinational rap album, featuring rap in French, German, Spanish, Japanese, and a thick Scottish accent that might as well be a foreign language. This album is a strange but generally smooth ride, but it seems to be missing both the body rocking groove and impressive DJ tricks that I would’ve expected from someone like Nu-Mark. B
The Reverend Horton Heat - Liquor in the Front (Poker in the Rear) (rockabilly): Released in 1994, this was the third album from the rockabilly trio, and the last featuring Patrick “Taz” Bentley’s heavy metal drumming style. You would think that a double bass drum would sound completely out of place sandwiched between Jim Heath’s rockabilly guitar and Jimbo Wallace’s upright bass, but it somehow worked for them. If nothing, this album is a whole mess of driving, tongue in cheek, rockabilly and arguably the last album before Horton Heat’s slow slide into obscurity. B+
Madball - Legacy (NYC hardcore): Ah, I am a sucker for Pro-pain style NYC hardcore. Madball, who started as an Agnostic Front side-project, is not only authentic and pedigreed NYC hardcore, but they are stereotypical 90’s NYC hardcore. They have the guitar sound, the grunty vocals, the juggada juggada jah pacing, and most of all, the hardcore breakdown. Thanks to all the crappy bands you’ve listened to in the last fifteen years, you forgot about the raw power that a speed-cutting, moshable breakdown creates, didn’t you? Madball not only remembers the power of the breakdown, but they use it in most of their songs. If this album had been released in the late 80’s or early 90’s, the younger Jon Dyer might’ve picked it out of scores of hardcore bands available at the time, but because it was released in 2005, the older Jon Dyer loves it. Like that old bomber jacket in the attic, this album fits, despite being years out of style. It’s a fully restored muscle car existing outside of its time. B+
DMX - It’s Dark and Hell is Hot (rap): I consider this hardcore rap album to be a “must buy” for rap fans. Although it’s on-par with the genre in terms of violent content and foul language, it adds an interesting human undertone to the typically hard gangster character. Where violence is the unconditional answer to every question on an average hardcore rap album, the human side of It’s Dark and Hell is Hot adds a another dimension by creating a more believable struggle between violence and conscience. The lyrics are clever enough to keep me from feeling like my intelligence is being insulted, and the beats overrun the reality of my nerdy outward appearance with a feeling of cool. Because it doesn’t overrun the rest of the world’s perception of my outer nerdiness, this album has the potential to make me look like a complete idiot when I’m out in public. A
The first Friday of every month is “FineTune Friday” here at dyers.org, on which participants create and share music playlists based around a common theme. To give people plenty of time to put their playlists together, the theme is announced two weeks before the event.
The theme for September is:
“Summer’s Over: Back to the Grind”
If you want in on the fun, get a free FineTune account, and create a 45 song playlist from the FineTune library that ties in with the theme somehow. How the songs relate to the theme is completely up to your imagination. Post your station to your site on Friday, September 7th and we’ll cross link the stations in a big musical orgy. …Or something like that.
It’s a good way to hear some new music, get a free link, and have some fun. If you haven’t joined in before, now’s the time to start!
Shotgun CD reviews are short reviews on CDs that you can usually pick up for $10 or less. For further explanation, check the FAQ
William Shatner - Has Been (rock): When I picked up this album, I expected it to be a giant joke like Shatner’s Transformed Man. Man, was I wrong. From the first track, “Common People”, this album is awesome. Ben Folds co-wrote and produced this album to be very catchy, but it ends up being a very naked picture of an aging Shatner. Sometimes the tracks have heavy themes like a father trying to unsuccessfully reconnect with a child after years away, while other tracks like “You’ll have Time” make the subject of death light and amusing. Despite the album’s eclectic mix of styles and guest appearances (Joe Jackson, Henry Rollins), there is no denying that there is a smooth and definite flow to it. It’s a strange mix of seriousness and schtick, but there is an underlying thread of honesty that keeps me listening to it over and over again. A
Nebula - Apollo (stoner): Nebula has been a staple of stoner rock since its founders split off from Fu Manchu over a decade ago. Even though they’re considered a cornerstone of stoner rock, I’ve never been able to appreciate them because they’ve traditionally centered around the noodly, never-ending solo end of stoner rock. While I’m perfectly capable of forgiving the distinct lack of super-low end bass that one typically expects from a stoner band, I’ve never been one to put up with a band consistently throwing their noodles in my face. When I picked this one up on the super cheap, my only intention was using it to supplement my trading on Lala.com. Maybe I’ve relaxed my rules on what stoner rock is and isn’t, but I certainly didn’t dislike this record as much as I expected to. It’s not what I’d consider meaty, fuzzy stoner rock, but I will concede that this is a sold rock release that exceeded my expectations and earned a spot in my collection. C+
It Dies Today - The Caitiff Choir (metal): Sometimes this disc is typical juggidy jah jah metalcore and I’m fine with it. Other times, they throw in singing that is so aggravatingly girly that it makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. I’ve forgiven bad singing in other albums because the music was just that good, but this is not one of those albums. Every single time that I start to get into a song, some wussy singer shows up and ruins it for me. The singing sounds so much like a teenage girl that I find myself frowning like a constipated old man eating lemons. I can’t forgive it, and my finger just can’t get to the skip button fast enough. I never listen to this album and if I wasn’t so unhappy with Lala these days, I would’ve shipped it out the door. D
Boris - Pink (doom): When I first heard samples from this album, I didn’t think that Boris was conforming to the minimalist vocals and sludgy guitars of their previous albums, so I’m not afraid to say that I really wasn’t impressed. I’m used to Boris as a band that drones the listener into the basement with repetitive 15 minute tracks played at a snail’s pace. Pink is a pretty large departure in terms of track length, style, and tempo for what I thought Boris was. The album starts off oddly with a song that sounds like Nick Drake filtered through doom and then breaks into stoner rock for a few tracks. Then, it slips back into a doom/stoner blend for a single track before diving right back into stoner rock. The disc closes with an eighteen minute stoner/doom anthem that completely devolves into drone by the nine minute mark. While not the best stoner rock I’ve ever heard, it’s certainly respectable, and it has grown on me. While it’s not as perfect as their doom masterpiece, Akuma No Uta, it’s an interesting trip into stoner rock as filtered through a Japanese doom metal band. C+
NOFX - Wolves in Wolves Clothing (punk): This is the latest release from the San Francisco punk veterans who have been playing their brand of clever, tight, socially conscious punk for nearly 25 years. Unlike some of the bands that started with them, I don’t find that I need to make any excuses for NOFX’s current music because they have yet to degrade into a caricature of their younger selves. Even though most of the band has to be approaching 40 by now, the music is still as tight, fast, and clever as it ever was. You’ll take my word for it when you find yourself unconsciously singing along to a love song like “I’m diving in a pool of puke / I’m fly fishing in a stream of puss / that’s how I feel when something separates us”. You can’t write a better punk love song than that. A-
I started with a simple question: If John Shaft listened to FineTune, what kind of playlist would he put together?
Being a complicated man, John Shaft would need music for several activities like car chases, shoot outs, hassling hustlers, risking his neck for his brother man, and of course, being a sex machine to all the chicks. He would need something funky to properly theme these activities, but his picks would probably lean towards the soul side of the funk spectrum.
I started the list with basic soul/funk heroes like Isaac Hayes, Curtis Mayfield, The J.B.’s, The Impressions, The Isley Brothers, The Dramatics, and so on, and ended up finding a ton of bands that I had never knew existed. What started out as a simple 70’s soul/funk list turned into a lesson for me. And that lesson was so much fun that it took me days to complete.
For rap fans, the list contains a large number of tracks that have been sampled in rap and hip hop over the years, some of which you might never have heard in their original form.
They say this Shaft playlist is a bad mutha… Shut yo’ mouth!
You only have five days left to get in on the latest edition of FineTune Friday. This month’s theme, Cinematic Characters, will be opening to packed houses on Friday, August 3.
If you want in on the fun, get a free FineTune account, pick your character, and create a 45 song playlist from the FineTune library. On August 3, post your station to your site and drop me line so I can add your link to the list.
If you haven’t joined in on a FineTune Friday in the past, now’s the time to start. It’s fun, free, and easier than Stiffler’s mom.
Shotgun CD reviews are short reviews on CDs that you can usually pick up for $10 or less. For further explanation, check the FAQ
Stevie Wonder - Greatest Hits Vol. 2 (soul): To me there are two styles of Stevie Wonder: The upbeat 60’s hits, and the 70’s funky Wonder. After that, Stevie Wonder tragically died in a plane crash and was replaced by an evil robot that cranked out crap like the “Woman in Red”. Originally released in 1971, this album focuses on the upbeat 60’s Wonder sound. This was one of many Motown albums that spent a lot of time on our home stereo when I was a kid, and I not only know every note by heart, but I feel them. And even though I can’t hear this album without feeling like I have to clean the house before I can go outside, I had forgotten about it until someone sent me one of the tracks from the album in his Expose Yourself compilation. This is one of the albums that makes me want to punch people in the face when they say that Stevie Wonder sucks. While I agree that Evil Stevie Wonder robot sucks, this is the real Stevie. This is the Stevie Wonder that people should know. Thanks for the reminder, Brian. A-
Stevie Wonder - Greatest Hits (soul): Remember those phases of Wonder, kids? Released in 1968, this also focuses on the 60’s Stevie. It starts off with 60’s hits that I know and descends into very early Little Stevie Wonder material that is almost 50’s Motown sounding. Unfortunately, it doesn’t elicit the same response from me that Volume 2 does. While it has some awesome harmonica moments, I lose interest quickly after the first five or six tracks. C+
The Haunted - The Dead Eye (metal): Have you ever heard a Commodores album without Lionel Ritchie? It’s fucking awful. That’s how I felt after listening to The Dead Eye. I honestly don’t know what the hell happened, but the band has completely lost that brutal drive that marked One Kill Wonder and …Made Me Do It. It doesn’t even sound like the same band. This is the second album since the return of the original singer, Peter Dolving, and it is dead boring. The only explanations that I can come up with for this dramatic change are 1.) Dolving’s return somehow ruined the dynamic of the group, or 2.) the group has gotten fat and lazy at the top of the Scandinavian metal pile. Because I was so excited about this album, I found myself more disgusted with it than if the band had always been boring. Let me explains again, in prafectly clear English: I wants the Haunted flies in on a dragons, okay? Nots to jumps the sharks. How many times I got to tells this peoples? I hope they either swap Marco Aro back in or get off their asses and make some metal because if this is the way that the Haunted is going, consider the shark jumped. D
Ol’ Dirty Bastard - Nigga Please (rap): If you call yourself Ol’ Dirty Bastard, there’s probably something wrong with you, right? Well, what if you then decided that you wanted to trade the name in for “Big Baby Jesus”? It’s a little bigger than PDiddy wanting to be called “Puffy”, isn’t it? This was the second of four solo albums made by ODB before his death in 2004. The style is as loose as if they gave an insane, homeless person a microphone, and yet so tight that the homeless guy would have to have been an evil genius to pull it off. The volume changes and the insane lyrics are just awesome. At one point ODB screams, “YOU WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS CAN’T EVER TAKE OVER!!! YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! THAT’S WHAT YOU DO!!” and in the same breath at a normal volume, “Huh? Can I get a beer?” You’re just never sure if it was calculation or insanity with the ODB, and that’s what makes it so awesome to listen to. I can’t get through this disc without busting out laughing a few times, yet his lyrical style was something to be appreciated. A
All That Remains - The Fall of Ideals (metalcore): When I picked up my first All that Remains album in September (review), I had the same perception of the band as I do now. The music is crunchy, tight metalcore, but there are unfortunate periods of singing to wade through to hear it. If they eliminated the Killswitch Engage-style vocal interludes, I would like them a lot better, but the music outside of those periods gives me enough of a reason to just roll my eyes and wait for it to pass. If they made more tracks like track three, where the vocal growl sounds like someone sucking through a straw in an empty cup, this band would be right on the money for me. I just need them to keep swinging toward the metal end of the spectrum and leave the girly vocals behind. B
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Have a Ball (punk): I’m not usually a great fan of covers or 70’s super hits, so there is no reason that I should be interested in a disc full of 70’s super hit covers. Actually, I would normally prefer to hit myself in the face with a two by four packed with rusty nails than to listen to a disc of 70’s super hits. Maybe it’s the sped up, punked out format, but I have to admit that this CD has become one of my favorites and gets ample time in the CD player. If a band can keep me from throwing up during Barry Manilow’s “Mandy”, then there’s something special there. Because covers are all that MF&TGG do, they packed enough fun into the songs that I actually found them enjoyable. It’s just a purely fun disc. A-
Shotgun CD reviews are short reviews on CDs that you can usually pick up for $10 or less. For further explanation, check the FAQ
DigitalDarryl recently let me know that I’ve been seriously neglecting my Shotgun CD reviews, and I’d say he’s right. Although I have a ton of them written, they’ve just always been pushed to the back burner by other posts.
Let’s see if we can’t get back on track and get you through today with a little music…
Zeke - ‘Til the Livin’ End (punk):
You remember Zeke, don’t you? They took the number two spot in my Top 10 Driving Albums List. This album is 15 songs in 30 minutes, which puts it in the category of blazing punk rock. When you consider that the other two Zeke albums I own have more songs and average 10 minutes shorter, this is actually their slow album. Like all Zeke’s albums, there is barely any time to breathe before the album is over, but the extra 10 minutes allows for some three minute songs to break up the absolutely blistering pace that Zeke normally doles out. Three minutes can feel like a twelve minute stoner anthem on a Zeke album, but I think the longer songs create a on-ramp for stoner fans to merge onto the Zeke superhighway. B+
The Dirtbombs - Horndog Fest (garage/rock):
The Dirtbombs are a Detroit rock band fronted by Mick Collins of Gories/Blacktop fame. Their sound is a rough combination of garage, punk, and Motown that comes off sloppy at times and truly inspired at others. Even though the disc was the band’s first effort way back in 1998, it doesn’t show the amateurish tendencies of a freshman release. The style is an extension of the garage influences that Collins developed in Blacktop, and is a stylistic forerunner of the later Dirtbombs releases. It’s sloppy, catchy, and fun to listen to when you’re walking with your headphones on. It has that “theme music of the badass” feel that makes it impossible to avoid adding a bit of swagger to your gait. Solid. B
Gluecifer - Automatic Thrill (rock):
Scandinavia might be best known for the inaccessibility of both its bikinis and its death metal, but they have produced a number of solidly accessible rock acts. Among them are the Hellacopters and Backyard Babies from Sweden, and “Demons” and Gluecifer from Norway. Unlike their peers, Gluecifer tends to ride a little too close to the pop/rock path for my taste. It’s rock, but the pop influence makes the disc largely forgettable. Yet one track, “Car Full of Stash“, kicks enough ass keep me from trading the CD out the door. If only the rest of the album were like that one track, I might listen to it more. C
Six Feet Under - Graveyard Classics 2 (death metal):
I found this for $4 in the death metal section during the Tower Records going out of business sale last year. At the time, I had no idea that the band was a Cannibal Corpse side project, but when I flipped the disc over and read the track listing, it immediately went into my buy pile. This is a note for note remake of AC/DC’s “Back in Black”, but with the death metal vocals. I can’t tell you how hard I laughed the first time through. Now, I actually enjoy it, and it was the gateway that got me used to Cannibal Corpse vocals. If I ever get around to making a compilation of covers that I’ve been promising Digital Darryl for years now, you can be sure it will contain something from this album. B
“Demons” - Stockholm Slump (punk):
The best way to describe “Demons” is Sweden’s greaser punk answer to the New Bomb Turks. They only put out a couple of full length albums on Gearhead records, so I couldn’t believe my luck when I happened to spot this at a local record store for a buck during one of Keidra’s visits to Boston. The tracks average three minutes in length and although nothing really stands out, it’s not a poor listen. Short, undifferentiated tracks are just the nature of this genre. When you’re not in the mood for the frantic insanity of Zeke or the ripping treble of the New Bomb Turks, “Demons” fills in the middle ground with plenty of foot stompin’ greaser punk rock. B
Iscariot - Lifeless design (metalcore):
If Phil Anselmo (Pantera) decided to do death metal vocals over a weird mix of grindcore, thrash, prog rock, and melodic metal, it would have been called Iscariot. I love this album. Even though the changes between the styles can be sudden and difficult to predict, it’s a rhythmic wall off noise. At times, it makes an absolute mess all over my speakers as if someone uncorked a big bottle of crazy, but that’s something that I tend to enjoy. You might pick it up for the melodic leads or the juggidy jah jah rhythm, but you’ll start getting used to the heavier style and end up buying only albums with decapitations on the cover. And I won’t blame you, because this album has so many different styles blended together, I see it as a gateway drug to heavier music. A-
Dozer - In the Tail of a Comet (stoner):
I have a big soft spot in my black little heart for riff-driven stoner rock, man. I really do. At one time, Dozer was considered to be Sweden’s answer to Kyuss, and this release is considered one of the high points of their discography. Unfortunately, it was also their first release. The vocals sound like they were sung by John Garcia himself, and the riffs are channeled right out of the Kyuss song book. Because it was released on Man’s Ruin records before they went under, it’s incredibly difficult to acquire on the cheap, but for stoner fans, it’s an absolute must-have. Thanks to my crazy parents, I got it as a gift, and I can’t thank them enough. A
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The next edition of FineTune Friday will be held on Friday, August 3. The theme this month is:
Cinematic Characters
If you want in on the fun, get a free FineTune account, pick one of your favorite cinematic characters, and create a 45 song playlist from the FineTune library around them. How the songs relate to the character is completely up to your imagination. Post your station to your site on August 3 and we’ll cross link all the stations.
If you haven’t joined in before, now’s the time to start!
I don’t know about you, but every time I hear the Super Mario theme, I feel like a big nerd. It’s a theme that any gamer over a certain age can hum off the top of their heads, and when people put their efforts into playing it, I end up grinning like a dope.
And I’m not alone. Below are the results of sifting through hundreds of videos to try to find the theme played on as many instruments as possible. I ended up with 43 decent renditions, covering brass, woodwinds, string and percussion instruments. The top ten is below, and the full 44 is listed at the bottom.
Before you proceed, be warned that I claim no responsibility if the Super Mario Theme is still stuck in your head next Tuesday.
Update 4/16/08: The RC car video was added at #2, pushing “Flute (with beatboxing) out of the top 10. Technically, the list is now 45 ways.
The Top 10 Super Mario Renditions
10. High school band
The odds are extremely high that the only person in this video that was alive to play Super Mario Brothers when it came out was the teacher. And a high school band is obligatory in this type of list, anyway, isn’t it? You know it is.
9. Contrabassoon
There’s something about the sound of the contrabassoon that cracks me up. And Richard plays it for us fabulously, even though he can’t get the camera situated the way he’d like.
8. Two Electric Guitars
Two guitars. One kid. I haven’t seen anything like this since Satan unleashed his metal fury in Rock n Roll Nightmare.
7. 11 String Bass
When I form my world-conquering metal band, The Mighty Fist of Thor, this guy is getting an invite to audition. He will invariably deem the music to be below his abilities, get a PhD in Music History, and die never knowing the gratification that comes with doing twelve chicks from eleven countries at the same time in a tour bus hot tub. At least he made it to evil number six on the list though, right?
6. Balalaika (Russian folk guitar)
While this version isn’t played the most accurately, I have never seen anyone play a folk instrument with such a rock star attitude. And considering he’s playing the Super Mario Theme, I’m guessing the reason is either insanity or nuts the size of Titan. In either case, this guy is also getting an invite to the Mighty Fist of Thor auditions, assuming my agent can find his tiny village in Russia.
5. Alto sax
Notice that this kid is not only in the standard rock star stance, but he plays the song in the style of Lisa Simpson.
4. Ballpoint Pen
While not yet accepted as a standard orchestral instrument, the ballpoint pen takes slot number 3. I think my favorite part of this is the “This is just an ordinary pen” move at the beginning, as if he’s about to do some sort of remarkable magic trick with it.
3. Beer Bottles
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” Oh no? Well, it gets you famous on YouTube, now doesn’t it? Yes, and it gets you the number two slot on this list.
2. RC Car and Bottles
Take a lot of bottles, a radio controlled car, an underground garage, and the Japanese and throw them in a blender and you know that something awesome is going to be unleashed. This was a late addition that knocked “flute (with beatboxing)” off the top ten list, debuting at #2.
1. Tesla Coil
These guys jack it up to 88 miles an hour and play the Super Mario Theme with 1.21 gigawatts of power. Seriously. How can you beat that? 1.21 gigawatts!? 1.21 gigawatts!? Great Scott! the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is… Mario.
If you haven’t gotten enough, yet, continue on. I take no responsibility for any further damage you do to your nerdy little synapses…
It’s the first Friday of the month, so you know what that means: It’s FineTune Friday! If you want to get in on the action, sign up for a free Finetune account and check back here mid-month for the theme. The next edition will be held on August 3rd.
This month the chosen theme was the Mr. Men series of children’s books. Because I’m (Mr.) greedy, I took two.
Mr Daydream
“While being bored by his history teacher, a little boy named Jack looked out the window. There he met Mr. Daydream, who invited him to fly around from adventure to adventure on the back of a giant bird. He flew around all day only to wake up and realize that he was merely baked and listening to Stoner Rock in his parents’ basement. He didn’t learn enough to stop smoking pot, but he no longer trusts talking blue clouds.”
Mr. Lazy
“Mr. Lazy lives in Sleepyland, where there are only four hours a day, instead of 24. Because of limited time and copious amounts of partying with Mr. Daydream, he just slapped a list together with all song titles containing ‘Mr.’ or ‘Mister’ to meet his deadline.”
Other Participants
Because this is a group effort, be sure to check out the Mr. Men stations from the following creative folks:
You only have two days left until the Mr. Men version of Finetune Friday. If you haven’t picked your character yet, get your choice in so I can cross it off the list.
FineTune Friday is open to anyone who wants in, so don’t be shy.
The latest edition of FineTune Friday will be on Friday July 6. The theme this month is the Mr. Men children’s series (If this works out, we may use the Little Miss series in a later FineTune Friday, so steer away from them this time).
If you want in on the fun, get a free FineTune account, pick your character, and create a 45 song playlist from the FineTune library. On July 6, post your station to your site and we’ll cross link all the stations in a mad musical orgy.
Or something like that.
While I can’t say that I’d mind listening to five Miami Booty Bass themed Mr. Bump stations, we’re trying to make each station have a unique character. The only way to do this is to centralize the list. Because I’m not the king of the web, I know I can’t make you drop me a mail (you know… jon at the ol’ dyers dot org) or leave a comment to claim your character, but I’d sure appreciate it. All claimed characters will get crossed off this list so others know what’s available.
Even if you think the FineTune Friday seems like a dumb idea, give it a try. We add a couple more people to the roster every month, and at least one of them should be you. FineTune’s library is big enough that making playlists can can be fun if you’re only slightly into music, and downright addictive if you’re a music junkie. Would I steer you wrong?
Here are your character choices. I put some possible ideas after some of them to help get some of those creative juices flowing, but I know you can come up with better. Choose wisely, get creative, and drop me a mail letting me know who you’re taking. It’s on a first come, first served basis (Coolin out girl, take you to the def places, One of a kind and for your people’s delight, And for you sucker MC, you just ain’t right…)
Good Luck!
Mr. Brave - all that crap that you’re afraid to admit you like
Mr. Bounce - hip hop or music for your low rider’s tape deck
Mr. Bump - disco or Demolition derby music Mr. Busy - (Michelle)
Mr. Chatterbox
Mr. Cheeky - music that uses the words ass, rump, or booty
Mr. Clever - probably would have to be country
Mr. Clumsy
Mr. Cool Mr. Daydream - 60’s psychadelic?(Yours Truly)
Mr. Dizzy
Mr. Forgetful - All Ozzy, all the time
Mr. Funny - incredibly strange music
Mr. Fussy
Mr. Good
Mr. Greedy - all songs that mention money
Mr. Grumble
Mr. Grumpy - metal, gruntcore, etc.
Mr. Happy
Mr. Impossible - all Yngwie Malmsteen
Mr. Jelly - 70’s porn music Mr. Lazy (Yours Truly)
Mr. Mean - metal, hardcore, thrash, death metal
Mr. Messy - grindcore, jazz, actors turned singers
Mr. Mischief - lounge
Mr. Miserable - see Mr. Mean
Mr. Nonsense - pop
Mr. Muddle
Mr. Nervous Mr. Noisy - any form of metal (Tony)
Mr. Nosey
Mr. Perfect
Mr. Quiet - Music for sleeping
Mr. Right
Mr. Rude
Mr. Rush - Thrash? All Rush covers?
Mr. Silly
Mr. Skinny - emo, screamo, dreamo: anything the kids listen to
Mr. Slow - doom, accoustic
Mr. Small - all short singers: Dio, danzig, etc.
Mr. Smiley
Mr. Sneeze Mr. Snow - 45 covers of “Informer” (Brian)
Mr. Strong - (Danzig, Thor, Rollins, and the WWF All Stars)
Mr. Tall
Mr. Tickle
Mr. Topsy-Turvy - Carnival music
Mr. Uppity
Mr. Worry Mr. Wrong - all Hasselhoff or see Mr. Impossible (Keidra)
This Finetune Friday’s assignment was to come up with a list of tracks that you listened to in High School. For me, this wasn’t as easy as I thought because I found that some of the songs that I really wanted to include actually came out before or after I was in high school. And because I lost all my old tapes and records in a house fire years ago, I had no solid evidence as reference.
After a lot of googling album release dates, I ended up with two distinct piles of tracks. “High School Hip Hop” was set up for the kid with the high top fade who used to wear a leather Ireland around his neck. “High School Headbang” was set up for the Dan Dokken hating distortion freak who may or may not have rocked a mullet and a half for a while there.
For each of those former Jon Dyers, I present a limited edition, two-for-one special Finetune Friday.
Enjoy!
And don’t forget to check out the contributions from Michelle, Keidra, and Viv.
(For those who want to participate in the July 6th Finetune Friday, grab a free Finetune account and drop me a line. Topic is currently TBD.)
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Jerry Reed - The Essential Jerry Reed (country): You may know Jerry Reed as the actor who played “Cledus ‘the Snowman’ Snow” from Smokey and the Bandit, but did you know that he was the song writing talent behind the movie’s soundtrack? He was. The catchy style of “East Bound and Down” was all Jerry Reed, but Reed has had a long career of writing funny, upbeat country tales. Even though the songs come off as jokes a lot of the time, Reed’s guitar picking is not. Chet Atkins considered him to be on par with the best country finger pickers out there, but I think that because Reed wrote songs that were so clever and fun, the average listener never really noticed the music underneath. This album contains all of the fun hits you could need from Reed, and a few of those melodramatic country love songs that only could come from the 70’s. It’s a lot of fun on the surface, but it’s a guitar album under the hood. B+
Brothers and sisters! Lay down the tools of your trade and take the red pill! Stop kneeling before your almighty boss. Bite the hand that feeds you. Stand up, walk out of the maze, and face the fact that there never was any cheese. 
I started with a simple question: If John Shaft listened to 
