It looks like Netflix has curtailed their need to add old TV shows this round, but that doesn’t mean they’ve upped their standards any. I counted eleven fishing/boating instructional videos and five teen after-school specials in this round, so if you’re into teens and seamen, this update was made for you.
For the rest of us, it was the usual slew of bad movies and concert videos. Any cool points that I could’ve awarded Netflix for adding Fishbone, Iggy Pop, and Obituary videos were retracted due to the addition of a second Europe concert video. Did we ever need one? Who is asking for Europe concert videos these days? If it’s you, I’m begging you to put down the aqua net, get rid of strip out of your acid washed jeans, and stop requesting that the 80′s come back. I’m looking right at you there, Chi-town.
DOOdaLOOO doooo… Doodaloo doo doo…
To make matters worse, JC In the Hood was added. What? You never heard about the miraculous story of Jebus and the Satan fighting for control of the ‘hood? I tried to resist its power, but I couldn’t help myself. I only made it through fifteen minutes of really bad acting and accidental camera glances, but I’m telling you that there is a good reason why Zombies vs. Satan: Meat for Satan’s Icebox (check the list. It’s there.) got a higher rating with a mere 1.9 stars. I wish that the worst of it, but a Pat Morita Movie called Hammerlock was added despite having no more than a 1 star rating anywhere in the known universe. Shouldn’t any movie that is worse than JC In the Hood be stopped from wasting gigs of disk space and internet bandwidth? Are there no standards?
In the “So Bad, They’re Good” category, Netflix added New Jack City and a couple of bad kung fu movies. New Jack is so horribly 90′s that I kept expecting Bobby Brown to show up with his tenderoni, and the kung fu movies are, well, bad kung fu movies. Within a minute of the opening credits of Ninja Vs. Mafia, a guy gets attacked on the street for no reason and calmly asks his attacker, “My friend, what are you doing?” The reply? “You want to know? I’m going to kill you, BASTARD!” Then, a fight breaks out. That’s pretty much how it goes for 80 minutes. The other movie, Crash Masters Collection: 2 Great Cavaliers, is much of the same, which is only bad if you’re not a kung fu fan.
Despite the tremendous amount of bad, there was a bit of good in this round. Eight seasons of Red Dwarf were re-added, which I’m happy about because I never got through season 1 before they deleted it last time. If you like British comedy and sci-fi, the series is a good bet.
If I had to recommend only one movie for everyone from this batch, I’d tell you to check out Cashback. It had volumes of tasteful nudity for the men, sci fi for the geeks, and a love story for the ladies. I liked it so much that I watched all the features on the DVD and gave it 4/5 stars.
All of the recommendations, additions, and deletions are listed below, but if I missed something good (or included something bad), be sure to let me know in the comments.