The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 324): #1GF! Helps Humans, I Help Bits & Bytes

#1GF! went to visit family and I wrote until I stopped caring what words were coming off of the keyboard. I ripped some new CD’s into MP3’s, backed up some files, downloaded the latest version of Mediamonkey, removed some unused applications and games, defragged my system drive, and ran a spyware scan. While I was doing all of these fun things to pass the time, I noticed that my Joseph Palmer beard post had absolutely caught fire and pulled in more traffic in a couple of days than I normally get all month.

#1GF! called and said she was going to the hospital to visit her sick aunt and wouldn’t be back any time soon. Her aunt wasn’t doing well, so I picked up a little around the house and took out the garbage so that #1GF! would be a little more comfortable when she got home. Surprisingly, #1GF! hadn’t eaten anything by the time she arrived, and I hadn’t cooked anything because I assumed that she would’ve grabbed something with her family. Both of us had bowls of cereal for dinner, which always feels like a tribute to my old pal, Dick Clark.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 317): Lunch And Errands

I made #1GF! breakfast and then went out to lunch after showing the progress on the house to a couple of her friends. After lunch #1GF! and I drove around town with nowhere to go, and I got a good talking to because my attitude was low for no good reason. Sometimes, you need people you trust to snap you out of things by telling you what’s what. We went to the local home store to look at paint, and then came home to watch The Dewey Cox Story, which surprisingly, sucked badly enough that it got shut off before the halfway point.

Monday (Day 318): Drowning By Dumbness In Foodness

After #1GF! left, I watched How It’s Made all morning. After four or five episodes, I found myself aggravated because I hadn’t learned a damned thing. Everything they show is made by machine, so if you asked me to explain how any of the items on any of the shows were made, I couldn’t tell you beyond, “a bunch of junk goes into a machine and stuff comes out”. Because the machine is usually a huge black box in the process, it seems like you’re learning something, but you’re not. What I really would like is if the show was called How To Make Things instead of How Things Are Made.

The rest of the day was spent writing my hybrid vs. non-hybrid car comparison, which had unexpected results. I thought that hybrids were bought to save money on gas, but I guess not. I drowned my disappointment in one of my favorite dinners that is made up of leeks, apple-smoked bacon, parsley, pasta, parmesan cheese, and eggs. One day, I will post the recipe because it’s one of the few recipes that I have successfully cooked from Bon Apetit, and it’s just too awesome not to share.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 316): Raking And Snaking

I decided that we should go over to the house and rake out the leaves that haven’t been touched in over a year because of the timing of our house’s transition into our ownership. We only had one rake available because all of our stuff is stashed away in storage, so we went to the local home store to pick one up. I had seen two garter snakes (that could’ve been the same one), but I had to kill it so that #1GF! would be able to continue raking. I felt bad about killing it because I felt like the snake couldn’t help that it was born a snake, but unfortunately, the snake took one for the team.

After filling up half of our leaf bags, we went headed home thanks to #1GF!’s large iced coffee. We grabbed a quick sandwich, and returned to fill the rest of the bags. It was late afternoon by then, so we showered and went out to an early dinner. There’s something about showering before dinner that made it feel like summer was on its way. It was still early when we were done, so we drove around the town looking at people’s landscaping to get ideas for our uneven (but raked) slice of heaven.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 309): #1GF! Loooooves Country

The weather was crappy, so we puttered around the house all day, with me giving up on showering. The biggest thing I did was create a classic country playlist on FineTune to prove to #1GF! that she actually likes country. She will solidly deny it, but she was singing along to a lot more songs than I could.

We ended the day by watching a Netflix recommended movie. It was so frustratingly bad, that I had to shut it off in just over 12 minutes. #1GF was asking for mercy in 5, but I kept hoping that it would pick up somehow. Sometimes, I hate Netflix for recommending movies that suck so bad it hurts.

Monday (Day 310): Don’t Be An Ultra-Douche

I called the contractor because nothing had been going on with the house for a week and then did the food shopping while listening to Valient Thorr. I took the self check line, and had to stand behind a woman who was writing a check. A couple of soft rules for the modern supermarket shopper:

Rule 1. Don’t write checks at the fucking supermarket. Use cash, a credit card, or beep beep boop your way through with a debit card if you have to. Don’t write a check. There are people behind you who, even though they look like they are really interested in the plethora of gum choices, they are just counting the number of packs so that they don’t reach over and strangle you.

Rule 2: Self checkout lines are for people who are trying to minimize human contact and race out the door. DO NOT FLAG SOMEONE OVER TO PAY BY FUCKING CHECK IN THIS LINE. You’re fucking up the system and porking everyone behind you.

Rule 3: If you forgot rules 1 and 2,and you’re paying by check in the self-check line, at least bag your fucking groceries while you wait. Don’t flag down the manager, write your check, wait for approval, and THEN start bagging. Fuck. Have that shit bagged up before the dude gets back. Not doing so will mark you as an ultra douche who doesn’t give a flying shit about anyone around them. Wait. Are you retarded? Of course not because even retarded people can follow simple fucking rules.

After standing behind a check writing ultra-douche in the self-checkout line, I ended up leaving the milk on the counter and remembered it only after I got outside. A woman picked up that something was wrong probably due to me bending at the waist and mouthing “shit!” as I walked out, so I had to pull off my Walkman, shrug, and tell her that I forgot the milk. I had been in a low mood for a week or so, but as I walked across the parking lot, I suddenly felt really awesome about not having to work. Maybe it was being free of the ultra-douche, or something else, but it was a great mood lift. Rather than lug my groceries back in to purchase some milk, I went to another grocery store on the way home.

When I got home, I did some research and wrote my Joseph Palmer beard post.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 302): Wasted the Day With My Lady Friend

We wasted the morning watching TV, including a documentary about girls who were in the play, Annie. you would expect that if someone went through the trouble of making a documentary about Annie, it would be interesting and full of strange stories. It wasn’t. The only thing I learned was that a lot of famous people have been in the play and a lot of non-famous people can’t let go of it.

Somewhere in the mid afternoon, we went over to check on the house. Fifteen minutes later, we were safely back at home doing nothing again. I made chicken, broccoli and ziti alfredo for #1GF! and we watched My Best Friend, which made me feel like I was running out of friends. I’m not sure if that’s normal for someone my age.

Monday (Day 303): Picked Cabinets

After #1GF! left for work, I watched TV for an hour until an ex co-worker called. She has two kids and became a stay at home Mom, while I have zero kids and became a stay at home blogger. My life is filled with finding things to occupy my time, and hers is wishing she had a spare moment that wasn’t filled. It was an interesting conversation.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 295): Nothing To See Here

After I cooked breakfast, I started looking up info on green technologies while #1GF! cleaned the house. I didn’t even realize she was cleaning until the vacuum was on, and by then it was too late to help out. We had nothing pressing to do, so we eventually went out to a furniture store to browse. We ended the day by hitting a local restaurant for dinner and watching a really crappy sci-fi movie called Sunshine.

Monday (Day 296): Taxes and Fish Cakes

Attempted to watch The Simpson’s Movie first thing in the morning, but found that the disc was cracked and had to order another copy. Once #1GF! got out the door, I assembled the taxes. Because I was pretty sure that there wasn’t a local place that did photocopying, I decided to scan and print all the documents myself. Scanners are not a fast way to photocopy, so it took me a half hour just to get #1GF!’s taxes printed. Just as the last page came out, I ran out of ink and staples, so I ended up having to make the drive up to a local office supply store anyway.

Once I got home, I finished scanning and printing my own taxes, and then used Eraser to wipe the files from my drive with 35 passes of random data. Call me paranoid, but I didn’t even like the idea of having the scans temporarily on my drive. You can take the man out of data security job, but you can’t take data security job out of the man. When I was done, I went to the post office and physically handed the envelopes to a postal worker. At least I think it was a postal worker.

I went over to the house to check on the progress, and by then it was 3:30, so there was no way that I was going to fight the traffic to get to the market considering #1GF! wasn’t coming home for dinner. Once I saw the progress, I headed home and wrote the Life of Riley. I made some fish cakes at 8PM so #1GF! wouldn’t come home and think that I was incapable of fending for myself.

Tuesday (Day 297): April Fool’s, Bitches

I nailed everybody with my So Long And Thanks For All The Fish Post. I thought it was pretty funny that people who know me fell for it hardest, while only the ladies from Chi-town firmly refused to buy into the lie. Every time I started feeling bad and thinking about adding a comment that would expose the post as a hoax, another person got sucked in.

I actually went so far as to make sure that I published #1GF!’s prank of karmic justice after midnight so that anyone getting the RSS feed would have an equal opportunity to fall for the prank. I was really psyched that I was able to pull one over on my readers, and even more psyched at all the people who came out of the woodwork to in opposition to my resignation. That was pretty cool for me. Thanks, folks.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 288): Easter

We toted two quiches, an apple cake, and two pans of French toast over to my parents’ house for Easter. I set up my mom’s new phone because she refuses to read directions. I didn’t read the directions either. My Dad and I started taking turns at shooting a ping pong ball out of the air with an Airzooka in some sort of impromptu skeet shooting match. We talked about my learning experience on the web and how it doesn’t seem to amount to much of a living. My parents asked when I was shaving my beard off, so it must look a little nuts.

We got home around 4PM and I noticed that my beard cast a distinct shadow, which made me feel pretty good. Later, #1GF! prepared a plate of Anginetti cream puffs that her mother had given us the ingredients for. I don’t know how many people she thought were coming over, but she made a plate up as if there were a legion of them. I ended up scarfing down about a dozen of them while we watched a crappy Vigo Mortensen movie.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 281): The Lincolnic Leprechaun

I went to a St. Patrick’s Day parade with #1GF!’s family because it’s something of a tradition for them. I don’t really go for parades, but I didn’t have anything to do, so I tagged along. We wound down blocked off streets behind the parade route by ignoring barriers and giving policemen quizzical points down the streets that we weren’t supposed to be driving on. Oddly enough, they let us through each time with a wave.

The big draw for the kids of this particular 30 minute, small town parade is that they throw a lot of candy off the floats. Because I had never been, I had no idea that each of the kids would be leaving with full gallon freezer bags. This wasn’t including #1GF!’s brother’s take.

One of the people throwing candy had #1GF!’s brother hold a candy bucket while he untangled some strings of beads, and then forgot to take the bucket back when he ran off to rejoin his float. #1GF!’s brother started hucking candy up in the air like he was part of the parade and I think he still had a half bucket left once the ground was saturated.

Most of the time, I stood back with #1GF! while she watched from the curb, but there were a few occasions where I would walk up and drop pieces of candy into the kids’ bags. At one point, this little kid named Michael (I know his name because his father was chasing him yelling his name as he chased the candy throwing floats down the street) He was under 8 and had the strings of his hood tied so tightly that his face barely poked out of the the drawn hole. Well, he was all over the place, and I eventually backed over him while he knelt behind me picking up candy at my feet. Once I picked the kid up, he scurried off to where his father was with an “I’m OK! I’m OK!”

After that, I stayed mostly out of the way, with the exception of diving fully extended on the ground to wrestle a piece of candy from #1GF!’s sister. That only happened once, but everyone seemed to get a good WTF? laugh out of it. Maybe it looked a little nuts, but it cannot be said that I will avoid physical humor to make people laugh.

Afterward, we got some coffee and wandered around Home Depot looking at tile and faucets. At some point, #1GF! asked me when my beard was coming off, and I told her that her niece told me that my beard made me look like “Abraham Lincoln or a leprechaun”, so I didn’t know if I should. Even though we were in good spirits, the decisions eventually wore out, so we went home where I made #1GF! fettuccine alfredo and broccoli.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 280): The Pirate Whittling Tech Union Boss

I made egg, cheese and capicola bagel sandwiches for breakfast, and I have to say that it turned out pretty well. After breakfast, we went to the mall to search for presents for #1GF!’s Mom’s birthday. I think it was the moment when I realized that “Hanging Tough” by New Kids On the Block was playing on the Mall P/A, that the mall became a depressing place. It somehow made me notice all the shitty music that mall workers must have to listen to endlessly looping them through their days, one shitty musical minute at a time.

When we walked through our third department store, I realized that Department stores have even shittier music than the mall, and not one worker I saw seemed happy. The stores were full of merchandise that no one wanted, being stacked and reorganized by people who seemed like this was the end of their careers. There was no perkiness or joy in these department stores outside of the holiday season. I told #1GF! with a look of seriousness that I would never want to work in a department store. She looked at me like I was nuts and continued on her quest for the perfect gift.

The whole day was filled with shopping, and we decided to go the local restaurant for dinner. during the meal, we talked about what the hell I was doing with my life. I still think that it was a good decision to leave my last job, but I’m no closer to figuring out how to make a real living outside of the corporate walls than I was 41 weeks ago. We talked through what I liked to do and whether I should continue on or try to find a small company that is working on something interesting, but we both knew that I’m happier without a boss. At one point, I remember saying that my rebellious, but rational streak and my disdain for authority would be perfect for setting up a tech worker’s union.

In my experience, tech workers get the shit end of the stick when it comes to being chained to a job. Even entry level tech workers get put on call 24/7 with no extra pay. I remember a time where pagers and off hours calls meant extra compensation, but those days seem to be gone. Other people work nights and maybe weekends, but tech workers are tied and reachable 24 hours a day. This strategy allows companies to under report their labor costs, and that’s something that I think would be fun to economically correct by getting tech workers paid for off hours work. No more free O/T. No calls at three AM because the company won’t cover 24 hours with additional shifts. A union might make the labor pool mediocre, but 2% raises and forced off hours work make that happen anyway.

While I enjoyed my imaginary role as an IT union rep, I drifted off and started mentally dissecting some hand carved pirates that were on the ledge next to our table. I began trying to figure out if I could carve them because I thought it would be funny if I carved pirates and sea captains and made more money for them than I could writing my ass off every day. When I vocalized my pirate whittling idea, #1GF! probably realized that I was out of my mind and the conversation died out. #1GF! paid the bill, and we went home.

Peter: Lawrence, what would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’ll do, man… Two chicks at the same time.
Peter: That’s it? If you had a million dollars, that’s what you’d do? Two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight, man. I’ve always wanted to do that. I figure if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up. Chicks dig guys with money.
Peter: Well not all chicks…
Lawrence: Well, the type that double up on a guy like me do.
Peter: Good point.
Lawrence: Now, what would you do?
Peter: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Oh yeah.
Peter: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing?
Peter: I would relax. I would sit on my ass all day. I would do nothing.
Lawrence: You don’t need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin.

-from the movie, Office Space

I’ve been unemployed for 41 weeks now, and beyond creating couple of plugins for WordPress (Better Blogroll and Buddy Love), keeping #1GF! decently fed, and writing a lot, I can’t say that time has been filled with amazingly fun or creative accomplishments. Sure, I have the luxury of doing whatever I want to, but considering the avalanche of advice that I got before I left my job on what I should do with my time off, some days, I think that I must be going about this unemployment thing all wrong. The people who really know how to get the most out of unemployment all have jobs.

So, I ask you: If you could suddenly leave your job and not worry about money, what would you do with your free time?

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 273): Psi Phi Music

I made #1GF! breakfast and had a breakfast burrito for myself. We watched Heroes while eating, and spent the rest of the day reviewing my FineTune PSI PHI station while looking at granite on the web. I drifted in and out of the GIMP book that #1GF! thought had to do with bracelet weaving instead of image manipulation.

I started making stir fry for dinner until I realized that #1GF! was interested in every move that I was making. Rather than make a fuss, I stepped out of the way and let her cook the way she wanted. She cooked and I cleaned.

Monday (Day 274): Save The Permit and Kill The Ads

This ended up being a day of running around. I went over to the town hall to square away some issues that were holding up our permit, and then ran a set of plans down to the builder’s house. When I got home, I calculated the amount of money that I made in February and got pretty disgusted. I decided to take most of the ads on my site down. I think this might be the end of the road for trying to make a buck on the web. I can make way more money with way less work sitting at a train station with my hand out.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 266): Fog Light Failure

I started the day by throwing on a hat and sneaking out to change some lights on #1GF!’s car when she went into the shower. I was trying to surprise her, but it didn’t go well. One of the screws was so rusted that it crumbled as I tried to loosen it, so I decided to leave that light alone until I had more time to spend on it. I was supposed to change one of her fog lights, but both of them were out, making me think that there was some trick to turning them on. After fiddling with every control I could find, I gave up and returned to the house to #1GF! about the magic secret to turning on her fog lights. There was no secret. I had done everything right, but both the lights were out. I decided to hide my shame by making #1GF! breakfast.

It was in the 40’s, so we went to the house to spend fifteen minutes shoveling out from Friday’s snowstorm before heading to the auto parts store to pick up another fog light. When we walked in the door, a lady asked us if we needed any help. Because I have a beard and testicles, I wouldn’t ask for help in an auto parts store unless the project involved something that I really shouldn’t be doing. #1GF! went for the help before I could protest, and the clerk found the bulb for us while I followed along like a big lug.

When we got the bulb home, we figured out that she had given us the wrong bulb, so I had failed a second time. To emasculate me even more, I made two quiches for dinner. If there was a site called thisguydoesntdeservehisbeard.com, I would’ve been front page news, most likely in a photoshopped tutu.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 259): Appliance Shopping

Made breakfast for #1GF! and watched Heroes on Netflix on Demand. Went back to Kam to get zeroed in on our appliances and then sat in a Dunkin Donuts and drank coffee while trying to figure out what we really wanted. Prices were reaching outrageous levels, and we were trying to figure out if it was worth the extra money just to change the temperature of food. We drove home, made our final decisions on what we wanted and watched more Heroes while we ate takeout.

Monday (Day 260): President’s Day Appliance Shopping

Got up and waded through the torrential rain (and 60 degree heat) to compare prices at Hancock Appliance. The prices got better, so we took them over to another store who soundly beat our best deal. We had the salesman write it all up and even got a free cherry pie because it was President’s Day.

On the way home, we were hungry from watching all the pork commercials on the Food Network while shopping for appliances, so we went to dinner at a restaurant that we refer to as “the old people place”. #1GF! wanted pork but changed her order to something else at the last minute because she thought that I wanted to order the pork. I changed her order back to pork and had the ribs. I also ordered her drink. The waitress must’ve thought that I was some beard-wearing control freak.

We went home and watched Heroes and then You Can Count on Me which was pretty much crap. The drifter brother comes home to the stable sister and messes things up. It was a trite plot coated in a slow pace without anything interesting to spice it up. The one thing that I never expected, nor wanted to see in my lifetime was Matthew Broderick in a sex scene. Thanks, but no thanks. D

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 252): Gay Disney

Got up and went appliance shopping. Went to the mob scene of Yale Electric, and the helpful atmosphere at Kams before taking our pile of confusion to Friendly’s to refuel. We had a waitress who seemed new, and we both got sandwiches and shakes. The shakes were too thin, and they gave us these fat, color changing straws that sucked up the shake so easily that they seemed even thinner. #1GF! wandered around and got some regular straws from the kitchen to make the shake seem more normal. Easier and more feature filled is not always better.

Afterward, we hit all the big box appliance giants. We spent ten minutes in Best Buy but couldn’t find what we needed, so we headed over to Sears. Even though I wanted to get some information from the employees, I refused all help. I refused rap beard earring man, and then a guy who you could smell the desperation on him like the mint on his breath. He wanted to make a sale so badly that it overshadowed our need for information. Instead, we poked around the appliances and realized that the smaller shops may have ratcheted up what we wanted in our appliances.

On our way out of the mall, #1GF! wanted to get some girly stuff from one of those girly stores that sell creams that cost as much as a power drill that no self-respecting man has any idea what they are for. Just like you don’t go barging into the shaman’s tent, I’ve learned to wait outside these places until #1GF! has picked up whatever voodoo magic that ladies pick up. I could see through the glass that no one was helping her after a good five minutes so I started pretending to be exasperated, complete with lolling my head around, and flopping on the railing like a rag doll. She has learned that I’ll only stop if she doesn’t look or laugh, so that’s what she tried to do. Unfortunately, I do stupid shit in case she looks, so people passing by were turning their heads into the store to see what I was so exasperated at. I found this more amusing, so I started doing the look only when people walked by, just to see if they looked into the store. This is how I amused myself at five, and it’s nice to know that the same formula works thirty years later.

Once one of the black clothed priestesses of beauty realized that #1GF! was waiting, she sold her her magic potions, and we decided to see if the daughter of one of #1GF!’s friends was working at Hollister. Because I do all my clothes shopping in fifteen minutes a year at the same store, there has never been a reason for me to venture into Hollister before. The place is pitch dark, there are giant pictures of half naked dudes at the entrance, and the music is usually thumping. I never really knew if it was a gay club or a store, but I knew it wasn’t going to sell anything that I was buying.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 245): Go Pats?

We went out to Sears and Home Depot to get an idea of what we’d need for appliances and what we’d be paying. Again, we were faced with nearly endless choice for refrigerators, never mind with stoves, dishwashers, washers, dryers, and microwaves. It was still fun, but there was a lot to think about. Sometimes, I think that there may be too much choice in the world.

We ate dinner and watched the Super Bowl because #1GF! was interested. I think it’s funny that she thinks that I don’t know anything about sports because I don’t watch them. I just find watching games to be a waste of my time, but that doesn’t mean I’ve never played or watched a sport before. It’s just not my thing. Anyway, the Pats lost the Super Bowl and
it was my fault.

Monday (Day 246): Thinking Like A Quitter

I spent the morning putting together basic bathroom design in Sketchup and then started digging through my RSS feeds. Within an hour, I decided that I was sick of the web, so I started searching out domain names for a new site idea. One hour later, I was again sick of the web again.

As if knowing my mood was souring, an e-mail came in from a former co-worker who described how happy he was with his new job. As I read, I realized that my old company may have skewed my perception of all corporations. Don’t get me wrong, I liked my former job, but the necessary evil of large scale corporate bureaucracy tended to push everyone toward mediocrity. The only people seemed content were career corporate types who worked the system rather than working within it, and people who were happy to be working there because they believed that it was the best that they were going to be able to do. Everyone else was either frustrated or slowly having their edges ground off until they just didn’t care about their jobs anymore. It was sort of a white collar factory (if there is such a thing), where respect and raises were doled out based on your uniform class more than the work that you did. I guess not all jobs are like that.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 238): Different Pages

I got up at the crack of dawn and started making sauce. #1GF! kept trying to help, but I’m a nightmare in the kitchen and I like the kitchen to myself when I cook. That started the whole undercurrent of the day. Because the instructions in my head and the instructions that were written down didn’t match, #1GF! kept telling me that I was doing it wrong. I finally had to ask her nicely to stop telling me how to make my sauce. My sauce is sort of like improv around a central theme.

For the rest of the day, neither one of us could get on the same page. We tried to make decisions for the upcoming renovations, but I kept sending #1GF! in the wrong direction because I didn’t understand what she was looking for. Eventually, we ate some of the sauce, which even after 10 hours, I really didn’t consider done.

Monday (Day 239): Better Blogroll Update

I got out early to clean off the cars and to shovel out the house thanks to a small snowstorm the night before. There wasn’t a lot of snow, so cleaning off the cars took as long as shoveling and salting at the house. The storm was still at sea, so the waves were big and white and rolling in from a good distance. Rather than go home, I headed through town to get a better look. I parked in the graveyard on the hill, where I shut off the car and thought for a little bit while staring out at the ocean. I had a couple of ideas that I thought were so good that I didn’t have to write them down, but I suppose they weren’t that good because I had forgotten them before I got halfway home. On the way, I was going to drive somewhere to find something to do, but I realized that I didn’t have any gas, I didn’t have any money, everyone I knew was working, and there was no point in tooling around for no reason. Instead, I headed back to the seclusion of my apartment and continued cooking my sauce.

I avoided the computer, and finished Magic Man by Orson Scott Card, which originally seemed like it was going to be a great supernatural story, but turned suddenly into the world of faeries and magick. I don’t have a lot of tolerance for fantasy books, but it was interesting to read a sci fi book with an African American hero.

When I finally sat down to my computer, I got an e-mail asking how to show only a single category in Better Blogroll. I didn’t think that the hack would be too hard, so I spent some time figuring out how the guy could hack it to do what he wanted. After hemming and hawing for a half hour, I ended up writing a new version rather than telling the guy how to change the SQL of the plugin. It would have been so much easier to just give him the SQL, but I think that plugins should be easy. So, version 2.6 was written and released the same day just because someone asked. Sometimes, it’s just that easy.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 231): Fixing Mistakes

We started going over the plans that the architect had given us to find a solution to the problem he had admittedly created. Once we did, we sent him an e-mail outlining our frustration with the number of errors and sent him the planned out solution for him to draw up.

Other than that we relaxed, watched movies, and read. At 10:30 PM, I started trimming my beard down for the first time in months. I have no idea why I started the project at 10:30, but it was done relatively quickly.

Monday (Day 232): Battle Royale

The only issue was in the morning where I had a 40 minute run in with my architect because we have differing opinions on what an architect is or isn’t. It got pretty heated at points, but I don’t think that I’ll hire an architect again. It seems like a massive waste of money.

#1GF! had the day off, so we watched movies, read and played web games most of the day. The movies sucked so badly that I had to shut one of them off and was actually angry at the television before #1GF! calmed me down. I was irritated that the movie was made at all.

I finished my second book of the week, How to Write & Sell Your First Novel, which gave me a little more information on the way book publishing works, even though the book was written in 1986. Despite having to ignore antiquated tips about using new typewriter ribbons, the book was slightly inspirational. I just wished it was a little more condensed. Afterward, I started another book for writers called 100 Tips That Every Writer Should Know that was a little more recent, but provided little unambiguous information. The first three quarters of it were little more than inspirational, although there was a little bit of good information toward the end.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 224): No Men Helping Please

We went to the library to find me something to read. I went through art, design, fiction, philosophy, and software before finally deciding on three books about writing. When I was finishing up, #1GF! walked by with a crying little girl. The kid was lost, and #1GF! was gently walking the hysterical kid to the front desk, where a clueless mother happened to be standing. #1GF! gets pretty pissed when people don’t pay attention to their kids, and this woman hadn’t even noticed that her kid was missing. When #1GF! got back I said, “You know I could never do that. If I walked around this place holding a crying kid by the hand, people would think that I was trying to steal her.” #1GF! looked at me like I had just stated that the sky was blue or Boston was cold in January. It was a strange realization that in general men are discouraged from being around children by the risk of being cast as deviants. Yay, America.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 217): The Human Screw Gun

#1GF! got a call from a former co-worker who wanted to see the house. Typically, this would mean me wandering around finding more problems with the house, but the woman’s three little girls kept me busy by running around and screaming. Once again, we proved that there is something in children that makes them see me as nothing more than a giant toy.

Afterward, we went to #1GF!’s Mom’s house to fix one of her blinds. This is typically a matter of spending $2 on a blind from a Home Depot and popping it in. Not today. They had everything but the size we needed in the cheap blind section, meaning we had to get a blind that was eight times the cost and have it cut down to the right size. Because there was no one in home depot who could cut a blind, we had to explain why we were waiting to five different employees over the course of fifteen minutes. Finally, someone came over and cut one for us. A blind. They cut a blind for us. I thought that should be clarified for anyone who thinks that we were waiting around for a flatulent clerk.

The Life of Riley is a weekly post that details my activities since I ended a thirteen year career as a corporate drone. These posts are usually long, personal, and geared more for my own memory than the reader’s entertainment.

Sunday (Day 210): Too Many Expectations

Showed the house to #1GF!’s friends. Every time we go to the house it feels like we should be working on it. After we got home, I was supposed to do some writing so that I could take the next couple of days off. Instead, I spent a lot of time upgrading WordPress to the latest version. In one of my breaks, #1GF! said she was itching for a pork dinner, so we went out to get one. The meal wasn’t as good as she had expected thanks to the gravy not being to her liking. After dinner, I wrote a little more and we played Fluxx until bed. I won more than I lost, which is unusual when playing cards with #1GF!.

Monday (Day 211): Teenage Colonoscopy

We got out of bed at 10 AM after spending a full hour slipping in and out of consciousness. It was like being a teenager, except with fewer feelings of dread. After we got up, we watched Jerry Springer for the first time in months. I forgot how screwed up people on Springer are. One guy mentioned “domestic abruse” and I thought it was just a one time screw up until his family repeatedly used “abruse” as if it were a legitimate word. For the rest of the day, #1GF! went through cookbooks in an attempt to find something interesting for dinner, and I read a philosophy book to prove that dinner had meaning.

We both eventually gave up and got some takeout Chinese food. New Year’s Eve consisted of eating chicken wings, watching a movie, and playing Guillotine until the ball dropped. Apart from Dick Clark becoming the baby boomer generation’s surgical equivalent of Michael Jackson, the only interesting thing about New Years on TV was one woman’s New Year’s resolution. When asked what her resolution was, the woman screamed out, “TO GET A COLONOSCOPY!!” The way she yelled it, you would’ve thought that “colonoscopy” meant “win the lottery”.