To party you need a good fake ID. Claiming that your name is McLovin isn’t stupid. It’s strategy.

The McLovin Fake ID Maker.

(If you don’t know what this is all about, you haven’t seen Superbad yet.)

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After watching a bunch of their videos, I’m convinced that they’re awesomely real. These kids are only 6 and 8 years old…

(via What not to do in Australia)

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After watching the strange animatronic version of Bubba Sparxxx’s “Miss New Booty”, I went on to watch Fergie’s “London Bridge”, Nickelback’s “If Everyone Cared”, and really well done rendition of “Lithium” by Evanescence, which was just too weird and creepy not to share.

“Lithium” by Evanescence

If you’re interested some of the behind the scenes details, the creator of the videos posted a video to refute the argument that he’s just slamming buttons to make this all work.

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While I can’t prove the kid is from Boston, it looks like his band plays all over the Boston Area, so I’m claiming him as our own. The video is compilation of the Tyler drumming from age 2 until age 11. It’s pretty incredible.

Dunkin Donuts Commercial Starring Ace Frehley

There is nothing more Boston than Dunkin Donuts. I laugh every time I see this ad, although I wish that Ace had said, “I’ll give you the P&L Statement, baby!” It almost sounds like he wanted to say it, but didn’t.

Ernie Boch Jr. on Rescue Me

#1GF! and I were watching an episode of Rescue Me in which a police chief stepped up to the mic in the background of a scene. You only saw him for four seconds, but you could hear him for most of the scene.

I went into a mini fit.

Me: That’s… thats…
#1GF!: What?? What??
Me: [hits pause and starts waving wildly]
#1GF!: WHAT?
Me: gaaaaaaherniebockjunior. It’s Ernie Boch Jr. The chief. It is. I know it is.
#1GF!: That would be funny if you’re right.

Well, I was. The uncredited police chief was none other than Boston’s car dealership mogul, Ernie Boch Jr.

Have other funny or interesting Boston videos? Drop them in the comments…

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Anyway, the three videos below are just a few of the routines that I’ve been impressed with this season. I really don’t think that the small format does them justice because you miss a lot of the nuances. Holy crap. I just said nuance. And I’m all out of tampons.

If you need me, I’ll be clutching my wiener so it doesn’t dry up and fall off.

So You Think You Can Dance- Bryan Gaynor – The top video clips of the week are here

(skip forward until the countdown reaches 4:20)

(skip forward until the countdown reaches 4:00)

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Creeping Death – Metallica (Original)

This is the original Creeping Death by Metallica. The video is merely the song played over a picture of the album cover. It’s not too exciting, but it was the best sound quality I could find, if you’ve either never heard the song or needed a refresher.

Creeping Death – Dokaka (Cover)

This is Dokaka’s all-vocal version:
Creeping Death covered by Dokaka

Creeping Death – Apocalyptica (Cover)

In searching out Dokaka, I came across Apocalyptica’s cover of Creeping Death. While not as interesting as Dokaka’s, I thought It was worth putting up because it’s an all cello rendition.

The Trooper – Iron Maiden (Original)

This is the Original Trooper video by I. Ron Maiden. It’s a classic, but again, it’s just presented to give you a feel for the original, if you’ve never heard it.

Dokaka – The Trooper (Cover)

Here is Dokaka’s all-vocal version:
The Trooper covered by Dokaka

The Trooper – The Gauchos (Best. Cover. Ever.)

And here, my dear readers is the crown jewel of today’s post. If you don’t watch or listen to anything else in this post, please do yourself a favor and watch this. Gems like this are the reason that I sift through hours of video. Just from the picture, you can see that The Gauchos are four little kids. Even if you hate heavy metal, you have to appreciate their talent. And if you can’t do that, turn down the volume and just watch the little girl fronting the band.

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Wilford Brimley – The Beetis

Wilford Brimley’s Beetix Extravaganza – Remix Vol. 2

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Dungeons and Dragons Nerds

I originally mentioned this way back in 2002, but the original link points to a deserted island in this tumultuous sea that we call the internets. Because it’s a slow fucking week, I dug up a fresh youtube link, and re-posted for those people that I know that aren’t in on the joke, yet.

Family Guy Role Playing

We had also been talking about a recently aired repeat of the family guy that contains Dungeon and Dragon references. This clip was previously posted in June.

Exclusive Connections: Geek Phone Sex

SNL’s spoof. Pretty much safe for work, and unlike the next two clips, it’s worth a watch. “What’s that, baby? You’re a level 5, evil, chaotic half-orc? Ohhh, that makes me so hot.”
[Video removed from youtube]

Stephen Lynch D&D Song

This is a golden oldie in internet time, reworked with Machinima. Is it worth your time? Meh.

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1337$p34k Danger

I guess “It’s part of a complicated, and experts warn, potentially dangerous code designed to keep parents in the dark…” was a better hook than “It’s as complicated to crack as Ubby dubby and it’s used to compensate for poor typing skills.” I swear, if they did a story like this about Ubby Dubby in the 70’s, the newscaster would’ve been laughed out of a job. This is the state of journalism, today.

Nintendo Wii Rejected Games

This is an oldie, but it’s a few games that those jobless bastards who stood in line for a Wii won’t be getting this year.

PS3 vs. Wii

A recent commercial from G4 that makes fun of the PC vs. Mac adds. And the Wii. And the PS3.

Jedi Breakfast

If you don’t watch any of the videos in this list, at least watch this one about Doug the Jedi. Even #1GF! was laughing at it despite it’s wholly geeky subject matter. If Youtube happens to be blocked where you are, try this alternate link.

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Don’t ask me why, but while waiting for the Democracy player to download some Attack of the Show episodes, I found myself perusing The Ultimate Leonard Nimoy Music Site. While I will admit to owning both Shatner and Nimoy albums, I would not go so far as to encourage you to download a copy of Spaced Out – The Best of Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner if you happened to come across it in Google’s cache.

Lucille, Are You a Lesbian?

I would, however, fully encourage the downloading of
Music Nerve’s In With the Out Crowd Podcast, which I ran across while trying to remember who sang “Lucille, Are You A Lesbian?” What this DJ lacks in professionalism, he makes up with a plethora of strange musical classics. Included are Lucia Pamela’s “Walking on the Moon”, Wesley Willis’s “Rock N Roll McDonalds”, T. Valentine’s “Lucille, are you a Lesbian?” (26 min in), The Fabrications’ “I’m Sorry (I neckpunched your man)”, and a number of others. If you are a fan of musical oddities, you may have heard a number of these already, but that doesn’t detract from the fun. If you’ve never heard them before, oh man, are you in for a treat.

People’s Court Freak

And if that podcast was a weirdo sundae, this People’s Court video would be like the cherry on top. I can watch this video over and over because the guy just seems like he doesn’t have to put in any effort to come off like a genuine freak. Even the bailiff is laughing in the background. My favorite part? The guy’s answer to “What’s the hardest part about being you?” was simply, “Mustache.”

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DoubleJeu: Balance 1 ball while keeping another in the air.

Screwball: Match up the colored balls before they smash into you.

Slam Pong: Pong… TO THE EXTREME!

Crazy Chess: Stop the pawns from crossing the chess board with your one measly rook.

Picto: Just click the symbol that hasn’t been on the screen before. It really should be simple, right?

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Bobby Lee’s Secret Asian Super Powers

The only thing that is probably saving Bobby Lee is there is a widely held belief that Lee is a compulsive liar due to a deep-seated nudity addiction…

Bobby Lee’s Nudity Addiction

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Decorations

Let’s start with the decorations. You can carve a pumpkin like everyone else, but that’s not very novel is it? What about carving one from one of the Homestarrunner Pumpkin patterns? No one will get it, but on the off chance that someone does, they will think you are cool.

If that’s just too much work, or you’re worried about getting pumpkin goo all over your officially licensed, 100% authentic Captain Kirk shirt, why not take a stab at making some ghosts or bats to hang around the house? You could do that, right? Look at this cute little bastard:

Bust out that box of tampons and the provided instructions and get your place decorated.

Music

Once the place is decorated, you’re going to need to fill the air with spooky toons. For those into musical oddities, Louie sent over this massive list of 90 (yes, 90!) obscure Halloween records from the Forbidden Crypts Of Haunted Music. There is so much good stuff in there that it might require that you pick up the Firefox extension “DownThemAll” to rapidly download all of the tunes without inadvertently click click clicking your way to madness.

On the same wavelength, even though I have to say that this year’s Oddiooverplay Halloween album was pretty disappointing, they still offer Ghouls with Attitude Volume 1 & 2 and a Munsters remix called “Munster Beat!” for your free downloading pleasure.

If you are still unsatisfied with the level of weirdness in your newly acquired tunes, you can download all of the original sounds recorded from Disney’s Haunted Mansion to play over and over to ramp up your Halloween spirits.

Videos

Once you’re in full Halloween swing, make sure you download (or stream) Nosferatu, Night of the Living Dead, and other old horror movies courtesy of the Internet archive.

If those don’t scare the kids, then kick it up a notch with the next videos. There’s nothing that can strike fear into children’s hearts on Halloween night like a pedophile and his dancing army of Vampirezombies. You know I’m talking about: MJ’s “Thriller”. Watch all 8 glorious minutes below…

…But unless you count sexual habits, Thriller doesn’t add much to the “weird” theme of this post now, does it? That’s why I dug out the Indian version of Thriller. You haven’t seen anything, yet. Oh enjoy this one…Enjoy it to hell!

And once you’re videoed out, wind down with last years Homestar Halloween Adventure and dig those crazy costumes.

Crap. Costumes. If you’re actually one of those social types without bodies to dispose of, you may find yourself in need of something to wear this weekend. Let’s tackle that now.

Costumes

I tried to find you something cool like a “Fletch in the LA Lakers dream sequence”, but from what I gathered from online costume shops, if you’re a guy, every costume is going to make you look like a dork. If you’re a girl, every costume out there will essentially make you look like a filthy, filthy, dirty, filthy whore. I’m not just saying that because I know you like it. No. I’ve provided the proof below:

Boy Judge and Girl Judge (Yes, it says “Guilty” across her ass):

Sno White and the Seven Dwarves:

Whoredy Ann and Pedophile Andy:

He-devil and She-devil:

And even the “Biblical” Costumes Get In on it (Yes, that is a Nun costume):

God bless America.

The Wrap Up

By this point, you have the tunes, you have the vids, you’re dressed like a whore or a dork, and you have strung tampons from every hangable surface. You should be well prepared for the holiday, and I seriously hope you are taking pictures.

Happy Halloween!

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I’m not a really big Weird Al fan, but this really kicks ass. Where all my nerds at?

Stolen from Notes of Chaos

Keiko the Waiter

I think this has to be one of the grossest madtv skits that I’ve seen in recent history. Man, it cracked me up.

This video got removed from youtube

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Remember that song from a few years ago called “Steal My Sunshine” (listen) by Len? Today, while listening to the radio, I realized that the whole song was ripped from the bridge of that old disco song “More, More More” (listen) by The Andrea True.

I used to like “Steal My Sunshine” solely for the popping sound. And 7 years later, I find out that they ripped it off.

Stinkin’ sons of a bitches.

You Distracted Me, Bitches

Distraction! (via In4mador): A very simple game to catch fruit with a bird, while the game tries to distract you. I laughed my ass off at this one…

You Love Metal, Bitches

I’ve tried out past versions of ITunes, and honestly, I’m not really a fan. In the past, I’ve found it to be bulky and intrusive for music management, and because I don’t own an ipod, there really isn’t a reason for me to use it (Instead, I’ve been using mediamonkey for years).

Now, Itunes7 has incorporated an application called coverflow that actually lets you flip through your album covers as if you were flipping through your CDs (see the example at itunes).

While I don’t think this is a reason to switch to itunes, you have to appreciate the original company incorporating Kyuss’s “Welcome to Sky Valley” in their screenshot:

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Australian Idol Beatbox

I am a sucker for a good beatboxing video

Cavity Creeps

Another addition to the YouTube Museum of Television. We make holes in teeth! We make holes in teeth!

Hardcastle & McCormick Intro

Yet another addition to the YouTube Museum of Television. Don’t click unless you want this theme eating you alive for the rest of the day. You’ve been warned.

Spock Phone Message

A younger version of me had this on my answering machine for a while.

George’s Phone Message

A younger version of me had this as an answering machine message, as well.

The Greatest American Hero

(Late Addition) I included George’s phone message, and I forgot to add the original theme to that craptastic TV show, the Greatest American Hero.

Ok Go

I don’t think I’m hip enough to know who “Ok Go” is, but there is something about them dancing to their indy rock that seems so wrong that I can’t look away. The choreography seems like it should be backing up some R&B artist.

Ok Go Dancing on Treadmills

The title pretty much says it all.

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While skimming the MSDN Flash Newsletter from Microsoft this morning, I came across the following lines (that are mysteriously missing from the online version):

“From the Editor:

A short film http://go.microsoft.com/?linkid=5252877 that’s a huge Internet hit has been making the rounds on the workstations… After watching these hard-working employees, you might want to learn more about robot programming…

And the link is a redirect to a non-Microsoft site featuring the video below. My questions are these:

1. Why is Microsoft masking a link to an offsite video like it resides on their site?
2. Is it just me, or does saying that a “video has been making rounds on the workstations” make the writer sound like he makes his living sweeping up for your barber rather than editing a newsletter for the largest software company in the world?
3. What in the flying fuck does the video have to do with robot programming? There are high school freshmen editing school papers that routinely make better transitions between cafeteria menu changes and who the football team has been gang raping this week.

It is a good video, with lots of great lines, just the same. And if Microsoft includes something in a newsletter, forwarding said link to one’s co-workers can’t possibly violate any corporate policies, can it? I didn’t think so, either.

Mother’s Day

From the same guys who did Cubicle Wars. Sometimes getting a simple picture taken for your Mom can be a process.

The Good Word

Again from the same guys who did Cubicle Wars. Sometimes you have to go that extra mile to spread the good word.

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You go to this site, select a few personalizing options, and get a personalized message sent by Samuel L Jackson by e-mail or phone. The turnaround time between answering the last question and getting the call seems to be about three minutes.

It not only doesn’t verify the phone numbers that you put in, but it spoofs the number that you input into the caller id of the person receiving it. Remember, I have no idea if they’re collecting the phone number data, so you might want not want to send it to your grandma’s unlisted number, just to be safe.

I realize that it’s just a cheap promotional gimmick to push Samuel L. Jackson’s Snakes on a Plane, but I and everyone I showed it to seemed to say, “Best. Message. Ever.”

Personal Message From Samuel L. Jackson by E-mail or Phone.

Enjoy!

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Galactic Gravity Golf: It’s like mini-golf in space. I went through 25 levels before getting bored. (via In4mador)

Random Videos

Brokeback Lebowski: The Big Lebowski + Brokeback Mountain.

Japanese Game Show: Recite the tongue twister or get a smack in the nuts. (via In4mador)

The Vader Sessions: remix of Star Wars with James Earl Jones clips. (via In4mador)

A message to the Haters

I did not expect the song on this one.

Rollins on Slayer

The quick and dirty truth on Slayer, from Def Jam’s personal trainer, Henry Rollins. It does sort of make sense…

Trivium Lyrical Interpretation

Sometimes, the meaning of music is in the listener’s interpretation. Sometimes, that interpretation is amusing. (From Notes of Chaos)

As I lay Dying Lyrical Interpretation

Same as the Trivium version. There are just tons of these out there on YouTube.

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CBS Special Logo

Years ago I saw an imitation of this on a Homestartunner cartoon and I always wanted to find the original. I googled and googled, and it was a bit of a bitch to find, but totally worth it. Best. Bongos. Ever.

Zoom Intro

You know you wanted a Zoom shirt. Yes you did, Nerdo. Yes, you did. And you totally forgot about Bernadette’s arm trick, didn’t you.

Electric Company

If You watched ZOom, You watched the Electric Company.

The Crying Indian

He gives water to the garbage (Yes, that was a Dune reference. Now, I am the Nerdo.)

1977 – Be A Pepper

30 years later, and I want to punch the American werewolf in the face for that vest.

Star Wars Drunk Driving PSA

What more can be said (except Go for Papa Palpatine)?

PSA Better Business Bureau Abominable Snowman

You have absolutely no idea how difficult this was to find. I wanted to find the “Balancing my meal” or the “Now you left the window open and you’re wasting heat” vids, but I failed miserably. At least I’m the boss of my own money.

Motherfucking StarBlazers, Bitch

You can’t stop playing this theme. Go ahead and Try. You just can’t.

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Letter Lasso: It’s a simple “Seek n’ Find” word game, but the time pressure really gets to me.

Quick Stack: You match the colors and stack the blocks.

Quarkz: It’s like Othello, but with a little more strategy. You have to actually read the directions on this one.

3D Superball: Click a ball against a white box to get points. I think I got 26 before getting bored.

Video

Metal By Numbers: Oh man. This is one of those videos that metalheads understand. It makes fun of the nu metal/metalcore movement while Scott Ian moshes around. COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE! (found via Notes of Chaos)

Bike Jousting News Cast: I write 4 billion posts over 4 years, and I’m not the first Dyer to get on TV for being a weirdo. I’m breaking out the Spock shirt and heading for the roof to catch me some famous.

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Wordy: It’s Tetris with words. It’s not great, but worth a link for word nerds.

Books

Presenting The New Testament: Jesus Loves Porn Stars Edition! Yes, it’s real. Yes, it’s $8.95. Yes, it’s the Best. Bible. Ever. Put your hand on the new bible (and click) for the full story. Amen.

Audio

Beyond The Neon Podcast: I regularly read Beyond the Neon, the story of a former strip club DJ, and this is their first attempt at a podcast. It’s a little raunchy, but it’s far more professional and entertaining than most first attempts. (45 mins.)

Video

Robot Chicken parodies Star Wars.

There’s a better quality version of this at devilducky.com.

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There are some hard sections in guitar hero and nothing is more frustrating than having to play a whole song over and over until you figure out how to play a section in the middle of the song. Wouldn’t it be easier if there were guitar hero tablature? Oh, it would. And oh, it exists: Guitar Hero Note Charts.

SecondSpin Sale

Every so often, I take the plunge into SecondSpin.com’s inventory to root out some good deals on used CDs. They are now having a 20% off sale through Wednesday June 28. Prices range from $0.99 on up with shipping running $2.50 + $0.40 per CD. If you buy cheap CDs or a fair number that are moderately priced, it doesn’t come out too badly. I can usually average under $7 / CD with a fair number around $4-5. There is a lot of inventory to go through, though…

They Always Fuck Over The Fat Kid

Pete forwarded another case of someone taping the fat kid doing something stupid and getting it posted on the internet. This time, it was the fat kid’s brother. You sort of have to watch until the end to get to the best parts…

Star Trek Cribs

It is what it says it is…

Family Guy Role Playing (as promised)

I promised some folks that I’d find this family guy clip and post it. If you get it, you are qualified to join the big, fat nerds of America club.

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I thought this would be the dumbest game ever (especially for someone who has a real guitar), and it is, but I have to say that even at a hefty $70, it’s easily one of the most fun games I’ve owned on the PS2.

Need a second opinion? Ask non-gaming #1GF! or my non-gaming parents if it’s fun. They’re not here now, but I can assure you that they enjoyed it.

Guitar Hero 2 is due in the fall, which is about the time when I should finish this one.

Has anyone played multi-player?

I really gotta go. Virtual rock is awaits.

meedly meedly meedly

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