Once again the MaBeGroMo basic period has come to a close. You’ve listened to a number of unsolicited opinions on your new testosterone-driven look, and none of them deterred you. You went against the grain in a small way and did something that probably feels a lot better than it looks.

Congratulations!

Right now, you’re probably at the point where you unconsciously rub your beard or mustache to help you through tough decisions. Well, one is upon you: Do you take a picture of your beard and trek back through the snow to civilization, or do you make the run at the “MaBeGroMo Champion” title?

Before you decide, give you’re beard a good rub and look over this list. If any of the following apply, you might not be ready to give up that beard just yet.

You May Not Want To Give Up Your Beard If…

• More than fifty percent of your vocabulary has devolved into well-timed grunts and staring,
• You spend a lot of time battling Sauron,
• You can’t remember how it started, but you’ve been wearing an animal skull as a hat for a while now,
• You wake up in home improvement stores a lot more than you used to,
• You’ve started wearing a lot of flannel and feel like there isn’t a lot that can’t be solved with the swing of an axe,
• You really draw out your R’s and claim to be married to the sea,
• You’ve started wearing a robe and gathering a following,
• People have started calling you “Professor” and asking you to interpret sexually charged dreams,
• You’re running out of hiding places for all the animal carcasses,
• A day doesn’t go by that you’re not throwing lightning bolts and siring other gods,
• You’re stressed out about having only 364 days before all the toys have to be ready.

Will You Continue On?

If any of the preceding points describe your current lifestyle, you might want to consider participating in the extended MaBeGroMo challenge, which closes on February 14th. Not only will your protected jowls thank you when Old Man Winter throws piles of snow at you over the next few months, but you’ll also earn the title of “MaBeGroMo Champion”. And in this economy, anything that can add an extra line to your resume and keep you from wearing a ski mask can’t be all that bad.

If this is the end of the line for you, thanks for joining in. We hope to see you next winter for MaBeGroMo 5. If you’re continuing on, we’ll send a search party out for you in six weeks.

Good luck everyone. Thanks for participating, and happy bearding.

More information about beards can be found on my beard page.

Posted in Beards