Choose Your Own Beardventure

You suddenly awaken, and as you try to blink away the bright light that is making your head pound, you realize that you’re staring at the sky. You spit the grit from your teeth and pull yourself to a seated position.

You’re not dressed like Ralph Macchio, but you find yourself sitting in the middle of a dusty crossroad. You check your watch like you always do when the world around you lacks stability. It’s November 1st and it’s morning. I guess that’s something.

To your right, the road degrades into a stony path that leads to the abandoned mansion of the November Beard Club. To your left, the road vanishes into fields and sunshine. Something in the air vaguely smells like hope. In front of you, way in the distance, you see a man who seems to be smiling and waiting. You can’t tell if he’s giving you the finger or throwing you the horns.

Which path do you take?

If you go to the right and explore the ancient rights of November Beard Club, turn to page 147.

If you go to the left to support Movember, turn to page 92.

If you throw your razor to the ground for that long walk toward the guy in the distance, turn to page 66.

If it seems safer just to stand still and wait for rescue, turn to page 69.

5 thoughts on “Choose Your Own Beardventure

  1. Page 66, here I come!

    I trimmed my beard about 2 weeks ago, and haven’t touched it since, so I’ve got a pretty decent primer for starting MaBeGroMo. Unfortunately it takes me more than two days to have a beard grown, so that’s why I have to give it a few weeks!

  2. I tried to grow a beard for a solid month.. I don’t know if it’s my weak french-canadian genes or what.. but even after a month i still looked as if i’d recently climbed out of a ditch with pubic hair glued to my face..

    Regardless, since i’m in customer service i had to put a stop to it man.. It was sad, just sad. I figure i’ve compensated with my monstrous unkempt man-bush. Don’t make me prove it.

    Good luck to all beard growers out there! I wish u luck

  3. I started growing beards in the 7th grade and haven’t quit. As of right now, I don’t know how long ago my last shave was, but considering my beard can support several combs, (there’s one stuck in it as I type) it’s been a while. I doubt neglecting to shave for another month or two will change my status as a man in the community, but if it means being in a club, I’ll do it.

  4. I just finished remedying Wikipedia’s incomplete information on beard-related months. Now the first day of National Beard Growing Month is listed on the November 1st page, the first day of MaBeGroMo is listed on the December 1st page, and on the Beard page I made a whole new section and filled it with all the facial hair months I could think of. Wiki is now greatly improved.

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