YO! Beard Man!

#1GF!: Hey there’s Skateboard Man. We haven’t seen him around in a while.
Beard Man: He’s pretty old to be tooling around on a skateboard all the time, but he does some pretty good tricks. I wonder if he’s a pro or something.
#1GF!: Maybe he’s just really likes skateboarding.
Beard Man: Hey, ever wonder if we have names?
#1GF!: Like people say, “Hey here comes hat man or whatever?”
Beard Man: Yea, like that.
#1GF!: [smiling] Oooh, I don’t know. If we do, you’re probably the beard man.
Beard Man: Mmmm, Beard man. That would be so cool. [strutting] “Yo! Beard Man!” [waves to nonexistent fan] “Beard Man, Over here!” [winks and points with double gun fingers at another nonexistent fan]
#1GF!: I really worry about you sometimes.
Beard Man: Oh, don’t you worry about the Beard Man. He’s got big dreams and a solid reputation.

If people who don’t know you regularly saw you walking down the street, what nickname would they use to describe you?

Share, Bookmark, or E-Mail This Article

16 Responses to “YO! Beard Man!”

  1. Paul Says:

    Most of the time my friends will call me “Reills” since my last name is Reilly. But once in a while I’ll be called “Bolt” and I think the story behind the name is mildly amusing.

    A few years ago I went to go drop off my car at the mechanic. I did so early in the morning before work so I was dressed in the standard khakis and collared shirt. The girl at the front desk asked for my name when I gaver her the car Key. I’m pretty used to people misspelling my last name so I said “Paul Reilly. R-E-I-L-L-Y.” I looked down at the paper on which she was writing and there I saw “Bolt Reilly.” I just sort of sat there staring at it a bit dumbfounded. I guess I could maybe understand her mistake if I were dressed like I belonged to some gang or something like that. But I was dressed like every other dope who was on his way to work and yet she had no trouble believing that my name was Bolt Reilly. Anyway I told all of the guys at work and the name sort of stuck.

  2. BonzoGal Says:

    Blondie, unfortunately. Although I did get “Albino Goddess” from some guy on Mission Street once, which I thought was pretty okay.

  3. Miss Shigatsu Says:

    “bag lady”… “sweater girl”… “jedi”…

  4. n0ia Says:

    Probably “Short dude”

    My name at the car dealership where I work is “Little Internet Guy” since “internet” encompasses all things technological for some people.

  5. Svalka Says:

    Hat man, obviously because of my hat, or Book man since I’ve recently mastered the useful technique of reading attentively during walks, if anything.

  6. Pablo Says:

    Seinfeld reference in your quote?

    Crawler - up until 8th grade ( I was the catcher on the baseball team)
    Big D or Dallas in college (I am a Cowboys fan).

    Now everyone calls me Rusty because I look like Anthony Michael Hall. At 36 that is not a compliment.

  7. improvtara Says:

    “Pink-Haired Girl” probably. Though the color is fading fast …

  8. Joyce Says:

    Not sure it would be something phsical but rather many people comment on the fact that I am always racing - walking fast - like I’m on a mission. And I usually am. I suspect if someone did not know me and saw me speed walking down the street everyday they would probably comment on my less than leisurely pace. I definately need more hours put into my day … then maybe I could walk down the street slowly like Beard Man observing others like Skateboard Man.

  9. Erin Says:

    Film or Video girl. Good enough, I guess.

  10. Sarah Says:

    I say this without any hint of pride whatsoever: “That girl with glasses who wears a hair clip in the middle of her forehead.”

    Yep, fashion takes a back seat when I’m home relaxing.

  11. Jon Says:

    @Bolt: Off topic, but I burst out laughing. I’m laughing again. Bolt Reilly really needs his own comic book. Or at least his own theme music.

    @Blondie: Hey, anything with goddess in it can’t be bad for a girl. On the other hand, I’ve been to Mission Street, and I can imagine the state of the source…

    @Sweater Girl: People would walk down the street and call you Jedi? If that were true, I can’t imagine the outfits you must wear.

    @Short Man: People who don’t realize that there are multiple internetses, generally aren’t too creative.

    @Book Man: Walking and reading would easily earn you Book man, but I can’t hear “Book Man” without thinking of the character, Nathan Bookman, from Good Times who was nicknamed “Booger” and “Buffalo Butt”. Let’s hope you just stay Book Man.

    @Rusty: I hadn’t thought of the Assman, but I laughed at the reference. Hey, being Anthony Michael Hall only sucks if you can’t put a bra on your head and create Kelly LeBrock, which you have always claimed to be capable of.

    @Pink Haired Girl: I imagine that pink hair on you would’ve been as difficult as green hair on me.

    @Speed Pacer: I have a feeling that if we gave you more hours, you’d just get more done and make the rest of us look like worse slackers.

    @Video Girl: Whoa. If someone saw you walking down the street, they’d call you video girl? Meow.

    @That Girl With Glasses Who Wears A Hair Clip In The Middle Of Her Forehead: (whew) Fashion? Am I pronouncing that right? Fash-ion? What is this word that you speak of?

  12. Erin Says:

    @Jon - I don’t think I read the question right, now I feel stupid. It’s probably more of a librarian look I have going on, that’s probably what people would notice on the street. That, or Nerd girl. Video girl sounds wrong now. Dang.

  13. Jon Says:

    @The Girl Formerly Known As Video Girl: Don’t feel stupid. I was just playing with you.

  14. Nick Says:

    I’ve gotten ‘kilt-guy’ more time then I care to recount. Wearing a Utilikilt brand kilt gets looks from just about everybody as well as name calling; even in Portland.

  15. Jon Says:

    @Kilt Guy: I thought you were lying, but there really is a thing called a utility kilt.

  16. Tom Says:

    Late to the conversation.

    When I was in Sudan the local guys all called me ‘Abu Shunub’ or in English ‘Father of the Beard.’

    Better than the nicknames that the rest of the Amrikans had.

Leave a Reply

RSS Comment Feed for This Entry | Trackback URL


Close
E-mail It