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RSSReaders’ Choice: The Rap Industry Standard Beard
So, the Rap Industry Standard Poll is officially closed, and the results are in.
When given the choice between “Douche Daddy”, the smooth pimp rapper, or “MC Douchy McDouche”, the rapper hardened on the mean streets of suburbia, you decided that the straight brim of MC Douchy McDouche didn’t have enough pimp juice to take the official spot. I was pulling for the Vanilla Everlast looks of version #2, and #1GF! voted for the smoother #5, but not even my four executive votes could slow the roll of Version #3, the douchiest version of them all.
The Results: (% of votes)
- Three: 35%
- Two: 21%
- Five: 19%
- One: 12%
- Six: 9%
- Four: 3%
I was going to go against your will and post whatever picture I damn well pleased, but then I figured that I could guilt you all into buying me lunch when no one will hire the king of all douches. Get your sandwich money ready, suckas, because your votes put #3 on the beard quest page as the official rap industry standard pic.
Thanks for your input (yeaheahea… that’s what she said).
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July 23rd, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Hey Jon, for your Van Dyke, you look like Nicholas Cage in the Kiss of Death….but you have to retake the picture of the Soul Patch. Hey, Douche Daddy if you ever hit the studio, I could take my turntable out of storage and revert back to my 80′s alter ego, DJ Doughboy. I also played the electric triangle for Bananarama and The Thompson Twins, but I’d rather not talk about that.
July 24th, 2008 at 6:27 am
Trust me in that I hate that soul patch pic, but it’s the only one I have. One day, I’ll re-do it.
I couldn’t bring myself to get another turntable after the fire, but if I do, we can form a DJ Duo like Cut Chemist and Shadow. I’ll be mixing all Slayer and Kansas, so all the fresh beats and triangle work will be up to you.
July 24th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
I’ll buy you lunch if you ever come out to the San Francisco/Oakland area. We take our lunching seriously, so if you do come out, be prepared to LUNCH.
July 24th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
San Fran means Amoeba, and Amoeba eats my lunch money. Muah ha ha ha!
September 25th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Man, hahah, I’m sorry, its not December, and I can’t grow a beard to “shave” (haha) my life, but I had to try the rap industry standard today… I’m so ashamed, I don’t know who laughed harder, me or my sister-in-law. Either way, I apparently have to keep it for a few days to let it grow out and be able to take a picture of it. It’s so sad, but thankfully I’m at least aware of it and don’t plan on keeping it. If the pic comes out well, I’ll post it somehow, hahaha!