I Believe…

that people are good, but they will get away with whatever they can.
that nice guys finish last where it’s least important.
in the power of mind over matter.
in taking a vitamin every day.
that eating too many chemicals affects our health.
that cheap cookies taste the best.
that everyone should get something for free on their birthday.
in sticking up for the underdog.
that people who use the phrase “Who do you think you are?” have no idea who they really are.
that every presidential candidate is identical in that they are the cream of the crop of devious motherfuckers.
that we always have a choice.
that the edges wear off as you get older.
in love.
that the news is just a reality show without the fun.

that the world is getting smaller, but people are getting further apart.
that it’s easier to be feared than respected.
that the company will toss you our like an orange rind once there isn’t any pulp left.
that work is just a more expensive version of high school.
that salt air cures colds.
that music connects people who aren’t good with people.
that scars make you stronger provided that you can ignore them.
in letting go.
in saving for a rainy day.
that you can’t beat the S&P 500 over the long term.
in high risk over the long term and low risk over the short term.
that the fastest way to make money is “buy low, sell high”.
that working more efficiently only gets you more work
that the web is killing literature.
that experience is the ash left from the fires of failure.
in building it to last the next hundred years.
that code should be elegant.
that discipline is important.
that we are all being watched more than we think.
that reading too much conspiracy theory isn’t good for anyone.
that believing in something is important.
that god and heaven are wishful thinking, but there’s nothing wrong with believing something if it gets you through the day.
that religion damages as many as it helps.
that people’s propensity to push their beliefs on others is directly proportional to how badly they fucked up at some point in their past.
that atheism produces as many pushy, argumentative asshats as religion does.
in TIMTOWTDI.
that most people’s rules should be stamped “for personal use only”.
in situational ethics.
that old dogs can learn new tricks, it just takes longer.
that school sucks the life out of learning.
that love and respect should get equal billing on your list of ways to make a relationship work.
that human history is much older than we’re led to believe.
that neckties change people.
that a haircut can change an outlook.
in barbershops and everything that goes with them.
in being a regular somewhere.
in standing up for those who can’t.
in letting consenting adults do whatever they want to themselves in the privacy of their own homes.
that Puritanism is alive and well in New England.
that television is keeping us apart.
that cell phones cause cancer.
that one of the most important things you can do is to figure out who you are right now.
that addictions are made to be broken by sheer force of will.
that everyone needs a win once and a while to keep them going.
that a smile can change someone’s day.
that laughter is the best thing you can do with your clothes on, and acceptable when the clothes are off, as long as there is no pointing.
that fears are usually bigger and badder than the reality they represent.
that ancient people had access to primitive batteries.
that Mr. T, Vikings, and my sister are cool.
that a love of heavy metal indicates some form of current or previous damage.
that people who relax with opera are the ones that we need to worry about.
in giving first asking later.
that getting paid for something sucks the joy out of it.
that growing a beard is the simplest way to feel like more of a man.
that resistance is a way of thinking.
that a lot of people will give in if you remain silent long enough.
that if you have to ask whether you look fat in something, you probably do.
that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but wheels that never stop squeaking should be replaced.
that the acceptance of the corporate entity as legal person marked the decline in personal responsibility.
that loyalty is extremely important.
that the job of family is not to protect innocence, but to prepare children for the world and give them a haven to feel safe and loved.
that the most stressful part of the holidays is finding something perfect for someone you love.
that money is like a 2 year old: It makes the most trouble for you when you don’t pay close attention to it.
that everyone should experience what it’s like to be in a band, no matter how crappy.
that if you’re 35 and your band hasn’t made it, it’s time to give up the dream.
that the extension of credit is the reason that prices can soar so high.
that having a mortgage is very similar to being an indentured servant.
that men should make every effort not to cry in front of anyone, unless that person is a naked Christina Aguilera.
in getting a getting a good price, but not cutting to the bone.
that car dealers are a rare breed of douche.
that a good salesman doesn’t sell, he finds you something that you want to buy.
that people who ask for advice are generally trying to confirm an opinion that they already hold.
that any person in a position of power should strike “irregardless” from their vocabulary.
that snowstorms are perfect excuses to relax.
that stress causes fat.
in moderation.
that most institutions are meant to enslave.
that the primary goal of education is to foster obedience.
that children raised in strict environments are more likely to be that kid that gets taken to the hospital with alcohol poisoning the first weekend of college.
that with over 6 billion people on Earth, all of us have a plethora of soul mates.
that if you’re not witty or pretty, there’s nothing wrong with reeling them in with your gym membership.
that solitude only has value if you have people to go back to.
that being number one at anything takes way too much effort.
that humans haven’t changed much in the last five thousand years.
that most of life is an illusion.
that once they put you in the ground, the game is over.

So, what do you believe?

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11 Responses to “I Believe…”

M-shel Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I believe

In ME….most of the time.

That a really cold beer on a really hot day can make my entire week better.

Flannel pajamas were missing from my life for way too long

My closest friends, much of the time, are better family to me than my blood relatives

That life is a tripod made up of relationships, money, career/education and rarely do all three legs of that tripod sit level together at any one time.

My time alone, doing something or nothing, does mean I have plans, even if others don’t quite understand that.

Rewatching Sliding Doors over and over, because it always gives me a little hope on the romantical side of things.

That very few things can beat the great outdoors, a campfire, some port wine, and the crickets chirping as you fall asleep in your tent
Forest Parks Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I can fly
I can touch the sky…….. oh god no more. I hate that song.

I believe it’s your thought that I got an awful song stuck in my head!!

Anyway… I really enjoyed this post Only managed to read about 3/4 down though as am in a rush. Cheers.
Mo Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 5:22 pm
This was just awesome, Jon. I even believe in almost everything you do, but I just didn’t know it until now.

I believe…

That only you have the power to truly change your life for the better.

There are several ways to skin a cat, but there’s only one way to shave them.

That creamy peanut butter & jelly sandwiches have the power to heal a cold.

That being positive all of the time makes people think you’re an idiot.

That once your car is paid off you’ll either wreck it or something will break on it.

That a dog’s mouth is so not cleaner than a humans.
Doles Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 5:11 am
I believe…

That if you have to tell the people who work for you that your the boss, then you’re not a very good boss.

That “please” and “thank you” go a long way.

That a sense a humor makes life fun.

That banks, mortgage and credit card companies are evil.

Getting your work done first makes playing much more enjoyable.

What M-shel says, except a really cold beer is good ANY day.

That stress DOESN’T cause fat (otherwise I’d weigh 650 lbs.)

That you forgot to say that your cousins are cool. (that Mr. T, Vikings, and my sister are cool.)

That you should always be close to your brothers and sisters.

That politicians aren’t that bright, they just have the gift of gab. For evidence, watch a replay of the Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee congressional hearing. I never saw many idiots in one room. ; )
My Daily Thoughts Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
that having a mortgage is very similar to being an indentured servant. — and the higher the longer you will be a servant…lols
Mama Luma Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 11:53 am
This is a wonderful posting. I……believe in you!!!!! Delighted you believe in your sister…..still. I believe that you should always treat others the way you like to be treated. I believe that laughter is a tonic for every ill. It may not cure it but it certainly makes it more tolerable. I believe supporting friends and relatives is very important. I believe that true friends will show their beautiful colors when you most need them. I believe that behind every good man there is a very good woman who loves, supports and encourages.
I think you know the rest of my beliefs……………..
K. Says:
February 24th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Great post!

I believe …

People are generally good at heart and just trying to get through life as best as they can.

The children are our future. But they are also pretty annoying at times.

In music.

In friendship.

In coffee.

That happiness, like ebola, is contagious.

I am very lucky to be related to my family.

In the power of storytelling, in whatever form it takes.

In a bunch of other stuff I can’t think of right now.
Magical Auntie Says:
February 24th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Hi Jon,
Loved your “I believe”, but I like to relax with opera.

Do you really need to worry about me??
Love,
Magical Auntie that worrisome thing that leaves you to sing the blues in the night.
Jon Says:
February 25th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Thanks, everyone. I’m glad I’m not the only one with strange beliefs.
Pranay Says:
September 11th, 2008 at 11:54 am
For what i have been thinking, philosophizing in last 2-3 years of my 19 years
is kind of summarized in a subset of the above I believe’s…
I have no words… except for Amazing… Never read smthn as good, precise nd yet witty nd funny….

Keep up the good work..
udtahaathi Says:
February 9th, 2009 at 3:10 am
I believe in disbelief of having a disbelief.
Cheers!
~uh~