The Story Of Dr. Funk

I was visiting Dr. Funk of Tahiti last week, when Johnny Walker, Jack Daniels and Sam Adams dragged in a white Russian who had been caught in a hurricane and crushed by a kamikaze cement mixer. The guy was pretty much a zombie, so Dr. Funk prepared to perform a mind eraser. I had never seen one performed, so I asked if I could hang around.

“Sure,” shrugged Dr. Funk, “Hand me a screwdriver and that scorpion bowl. I haven’t seen anything this bad since I treated that suffering bastard who fell off the rigging of a banana boat back in 82.”

You could hear the crackling of bones as he threw the guy into Singapore Sling.

I didn’t want the Doctor thinking that I was a girl scout, so I tried not to wince.

It was only silent for a minute before the doctor asked of no one in particular, “Have you ever seen such buttery nipples?”. If it wasn’t uncomfortable enough, in the background the radio suddenly started playing “Escape (The Pina Colada Song).

Rather than risk an answer, I just played with the radio until Everclear came on.

“So,” asked Dr. Funk, “how’s that FineTune Friday: Drinks thing coming along?”

“Ugh. Sorry, Dr. Funk, I should get home and get working on it. It’s due this Friday and I don’t have any ideas yet.”

“Well, I certainly can’t help.” apologized Dr. Funk, “I don’t even drink.”

The Warning

It’s New Years Eve, and there are only a few days until FineTune Friday: Drinks will be sloshing it’s way in to knock over your collectibles and pass out in your tub.

To get in on the party, all you need is a free FineTune account and a 45 song playlist created around this month’s theme. On Friday, January 4, post your station to your site and let me I’ll add it to the list.

See the January theme announcement or the FineTune Friday page for more info.

Make a resolution to get involved in the party this year. Don’t disappoint Dr. Funk.

Posted in Music