The holidays are fast approaching, and as predicted, I haven’t done a bit of Christmas shopping. If you’re in the same boat as me, I compiled this list of holiday gift ideas to get you going.

1. Satisfy Their Gadget Needs

Mug Boss ($4.99)
Got a handy-man or handy-man wannabe on your list? Give them a way to keep their workbench tidy while showing off their manly side with the Mug Boss.

Super Mario Sound FX Keychain ($5.99)
If you spend any amount of time with game geeks, this is the gadget to have. The device will play six sound effects from Super Mario (Coin, Start Music, Extra Life, Jump, Grow, and Death Music) so that you can properly accentuate your conversations.

THE RTFM Mug ($7.99)
Have a tech support grunt on your list? Well there’s nothing that support folks hate more than N00bs who interrupt perfectly good days with their refusal to take basic steps to solving their own problems. The only thing worse is when other techies follow suit. Let your tech support grunt express his frustrations with the Read The Manual Mug.

Humping USB Dog ($9.99)
I don’t know if there’s anything more distracting than a tiny USB dog that humps your computer as you work. Do you?

Static Electricity Eliminator ($9.99)
If you think you have a static charge, touch this to a grounded object and you will see a little face flash on the screen and you’ll know you are static free. This seems dumb, but if you work with electronics, you know that they the tiniest sparks can cause problems. Knowing that you’re not statically charged can sometimes be a necessity.

Utili-Key 6-in-1 Tool ($9.99)
The world has gone mad, and tweezers are a danger to national security. Where can you stash a screwdriver where no one will find it? On your keyring, of course. This tool includes a couple of knives, a few screwdrivers, and a bottle opener.

The C.H.I.M.P. ($9.99)
C.H.I.M.P. stands for “Chimp Has Invincible Monkey Powers”. While that may or may not be true, the C.H.I.M.P. is a 3 inch convex mirror that easily attaches to your monitor to help prevent ninjas and bosses from sneaking up behind you. This is an essential accessory for any cube dwelling wage slave.

LED Binary Clock ($19.99)
I got one of these in a holiday grab a few years back, and have had it on my desk ever since. It’s one of the geekiest clocks available.

The Red Swingline Stapler ($21.99)
The beauty of the red stapler is that only certain people will understand the Office Space reference. It’s a conversation starter for those who do, and the ones who don’t are blissfully unaware that its removal from your desk will cause you to burn the building down. I’ll be at either Chotchkie’s or Flingers if you need me.

The Gorillapod ($49.99)
For the photographer on your list, a miniature tripod is essential for getting steady shots. The Gorilla pod’s three flexible arms allow it to be secured to just about anything when there isn’t a flat surface to be found.

Leatherman Wave MultiTool ($64.99)
Maybe it has to do with a secret desire to grow up to be Inspector Gadget, but I don’t know a geek who wouldn’t be psyched to get a Leatherman as a gift. There are 18 tools built into this model, and when they take it away at the airport, your geek is going to be crying real tears.

Star Wars R2-D2 Trashcan ($99.99)
Even if you don’t appreciate the sheer awesomeness of this trash can, having it in your apartment will easily convince any potential partner that you have never had sex before. Virgins are a natural aphrodisiac to some, so this trash can could potentially get the photons into the air duct, if you know what I mean. Hubba hubba.

2. Help Them Fit In With Some Geeky Tees

There are a number of geeky references below, and if you don’t understand them, then you’re probably well adjusted and in a career that deals with humans on a daily basis. If you really need to know, clicking each tee will get you an explanation from ThinkGeek.

3. Mold Them Into UberGeeks With Theses UltraGeeky Tees

The WiFi Detector Shirt ($29.99)
Sure this T-shirt is a bit pricey, but cool never comes cheap. The glowing bars on the front of the shirt dynamically change as the surrounding WiFi signal strength fluctuates. It’s a wearable WiFi detector. Is there anything cooler than that?

T-Qualizer Shirt ($39.99)
Did I just ask if there was anything cooler than the last T-shirt? Well, there is. And it’s $10 cooler. This shirt is a fully functioning equalizer that reacts to ambient sound. Each bar reacts differently depending on frequency. I dare you to say that isn’t cool.

4. Change The Way They Rent Movies

I haven’t dealt with the aggravation or cost of visiting a video store in years, and it all started with my parents getting me a gift subscription to Netflix. Once I got hooked, I bought them a gift subscription the following year. I’m not a fan of gifts that could require ongoing payments, but there’s nothing wrong with getting a Netflix gift subscription so that the recipient can try the service on your dime. Once the gift subscription runs out, they can continue on or quit with no obligation. No one ever seems to quit, though. The service is too easy to use, and if they typically rent more than four movies a month, the standard subscription is actually cheaper than going to the video store. Netflix changes the way you rent movies and is a worthwhile gift for any movie buff on your list.

5. Change The Way They Watch TV

I said that I wasn’t a fan of gifts that could require ongoing payments, but here I am recommending another gift in that category. Call your local cable company and find out what the extra cost is to get the person on your list a cable box with a DVR built in. They won’t give you a box unless you’re on the account, so you’ll have to print out a picture and put it in a card with enough cash to pay for the service for a set period of time. My parents’ cable company charged and extra $10, so $120 got them a DVR for the year. They were a little wary at first, but within weeks it had completely changed the way they watched television.

6. Feed Them

I happily accept food in lieu of store bought gifts. Whether you bake cookies, make kick ass hot chocolate mix, or whip up a nice spice rub, there are hungry people out there like me who will appreciate it. Gifts don’t have to be store bought to impress.

7. Teach Them To Cook

If you’re a terrible cook, you might want to pick up a copy of The Silver Spoon (~$26) for the cook on your list with the stipulation that the recipient practice their recipes on you. First published over 50 years ago in Italy, The Silver Spoon is now available in English. It’s a small detail, but the book includes two attached ribbons, which I find helpful when looking through the 2,000 included recipes. This is easily the heaviest and most complete cookbook on my shelf.

8. Supply Them With Light Reading

Magazines like Make, ReadyMade, and Craft have been a go-to in my gift giving stable for years. There are magazines to suit every taste, and they’re ultra simple to order. Unlike herpes, they’re the gift that keeps on giving in a good way.

9. Make Coupons

If you’re low on cash, you may want to consider making personalized holiday coupons. Hubpages.com offers three nicely designed coupons for you to fill out and print. Sometimes people don’t redeem them and you get off scott free. Other times, you find yourself giving someone’s angry cat anal itch medication at 2AM on your day off while the recipient is enjoying Barbados. Be careful how general you make your coupons. That’s all I’m saying. Meow.

10. Make A Charitable Donation

This can make a great gift as long as you make sure that the recipient is ok with it. Some people just do not go for this at all, and surprising them with it is not going to lead to a warm and happy holiday. I’m a pain in the ass to shop for, so for years I’ve asked my friends and family to donate to the PKD Foundation as my gift. It saves people the pain of shopping for me, and gives me a much better feeling than some tech toy that I’ll either break or lose. Sometimes I even get all choked up over it. There are a ton of charities out there (such as #1GF!’s favorite, the American Cancer Society) and the donations go a lot further to promoting good feelings in both the giver and the recipient. Just think about it before you spend another week at the mall hunting for crap that no one really needs.

More Ideas

So, what did you think? Did anything on the list light up your reactor core? Be sure to check in later this week for more gift ideas, and don’t forget that there are even more gift ideas in the Dyers.org Holiday store. Happy Holidays!

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Posted in Geeky