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Because she is a pretty darned good editor and the easiest audience on Earth, #1GF! reads my posts to me aloud every night as I stand over her shoulder. We’ve done it this way for years.
After a particularly isolated day of writing around Casa Dyerifico, my Einsteinian hair should’ve been the tipoff that I was hovering at threat level orange on the social abilities scale by the time my lovely editor arrived home. Instead of backing down the stairs to safety, #1GF! ignored all warning signs and settled in to read.
She asked, “Before I start reading, can you give me…”
and trailed off. Because of the lack of companionship all day, I was as useful as a six year old hopped up on Pixie Stix.
Me: A poke in the butt [poke]
#1GF!: Hey! NO!
Me: A poke in the boobs [poke poke]
#1GF!: ARGHHH! NO!
Me: A double wet willy? [lick lick snurch snurch]
#1GF!: GAAAAAAHHHHH! NOOOOOO!
Me: [throwing arms up] Well, what do you want then? I mean I’m at a total loss here.
#1GF!: [wiping out her ears] Oh god you suck. You need to get outside or talk to people or something. I’m serious.
Please don’t crowd ladies. #1GF! ain’t going to let this ball of fun go any time soon.
Editor’s note: Any bids on one gently used, semi-literate, hobo man servant should be forwarded to #1GF! at [deleted].com
Overriding Superhuman Hobo Man Servant Mega Editor’s Note: Nice Try…
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July 24th, 2007 at 6:05 am
hahahahaa. that’s hysterical.
seriously though, get out more.
July 24th, 2007 at 7:35 am
#1GF is right, you need to get out more. Especially if you’re going to use the “hobo” title.
“Hobo is a term that refers to a subculture of wandering homeless people,[1] particularly those who make a habit of hopping freight trains.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo
At least you need to get out of the house and wander…
July 24th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
You know, my husband still gets plenty of social interaction and still acts like that. I tell myself it’s a sign of affection to get a good boob poking once in a while.
Wait, I think that came out sounding all sorts of wrong. You get the idea.
July 25th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Why does that sound like me after my husband comes home from work? I’m so starved for adult conversation that I start hopping around like a Lab who heard the word “walkies.”