Father’s Day is this weekend folks, and if you haven’t picked up something for Dad yet, it’s time to get on the stick. Dad might say that he likes the ties, shoes, and crap that you make out of macaroni, but he doesn’t. He just pretends he does because he doesn’t want you throwing him into a third rate nursing home in a few years. Because it’s iffy on whether you can get online retailers to deliver by Sunday, here’s a quick list of suggestions that you should be able to pick up just in time.

If Dad’s a gamer, swing down and grab him Battlefield 2142 for $20 at Circuit City. He never has to know it was $20. Then, grab yourself a copy, get online and pwn his elderly ass. If Dad doesn’t know what pwn even means, you should probably skip this idea and move to the next one.

If Dad has a Sony phone or camera that takes a pro duo memory card, the Sandisk 4Gb pro duo memory card is on sale for $50 at Circuit City. I picked one up for my phone, and you won’t find a better deal in a brick and mortar right now. Then, Dad will be able to show people what you look like without having to direct them to those awesomely horrific pictures on your MySpace page.

You’re dad is a big, fat nerd? Hey, that’s ok. Without nerds, we wouldn’t have rockets or rocket scientists. Just print off this Borders 20% off coupon and grab him a big fat nerd book. You can get better deals on Amazon, but if you’re reading this, you’re not really a planner and you don’t have time to wait for shipping. Keep this link handy, because the site seems to regenerate a new coupon every time the current one expires.

Speaking of coupons, if Dad’s a BestBuy type of guy, print off these BestBuy 10% coupons. The selection on what you can buy is limited, but there’s definitely a music coupon in there for your long-haired hippy dad, or your long-haired metal dad.

If Dad’s a geek or geek-in-training, why not load up a flash drive with a bunch of applications, pictures, and games for him? A 2 Gb can be had for about $20 (4Gb for $40) at Bestbuy or Circuit City. Then you just need to load it up. You can throw on the Portable apps Suite, or you can browse Wikipedia’s massive list of portable apps and their equally massive list of portable games. Just getting him a flash drive is not going to be impressive. Giving him the drive with some tools he can use just might be.

While I’m not a fan of giving gifts that later require an ongoing payment, I got my parents a Netflix Gift Subscription one year and it was a huge hit. Netflix changes the way you rent movies. Is it too complicated for Dad? Absolutely not. Will he be able to blame Netflix for replacing all your mother’s romantic comedy rentals with action movies? Oh, yes he will. Will he thank you for this? Oh, you bet. A three month gift subscription will run you a little over $50.

In the same vein, what about getting him a Comcast DVR? I built my own DVR years before the Comcast DVR was available, and I can tell you that people who have DVRs watch TV differently than those who don’t. I gave this to my parents one year and it completely changed the way they watch TV. It’s a tricky gift because the local Comcast office won’t give you a box on someone else’s account. If Dad has a cable box now, you can give him multiples of $14 to cover the cost of upgrading to a dual tuner, High Def/DVR box for a specified period. Figure six months will run you about $85.

And if all else fails, I don’t think there’s a Dad out there who can’t use the ol’ Home Depot Gift Card. At least he’ll be able to buy new locks so your key won’t work when you show up to drag him off to the nursing home. It might not stop you, but he will certainly be smiling when it slows you down a little. And what is your dad’s happiness worth?

Any other ideas? Share the wealth in the comments.

Posted in Money