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Know what kicks ass? Finding out that a consultant slated to replace you could end up costing the company more per day than you make in a week. Know what kicks more ass? Being asked to write that overpaid person’s requirements.
In my 30 point list, I covered technical skills, soft skills, and regulatory requirements, but I couldn’t resist throwing in a few lines to make sure that the mail wasn’t blindly forwarded up the chain.
Hidden among the real requirements were:
- Genius level IQ, good looks a plus.
- Monkey-driven rocket car a plus.
- Must know the correct pronunciation of Deutsche Bank*
and of course
- Does not own a firearm or cry randomly.
(You’d be surprised at how many people incorrectly opt for “doush-y” over “doich-ah”.)
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June 1st, 2007 at 5:53 am
Those are all good requirements, and I think you should leave them in. It doesn’t seem fair that you didn’t meet them all yourself, however. (of course you know I’m referring to the “firearm/cry randomnly” one)
And yes, the Deutsche Bank one is a must. But pronunciation is only part of it. I was asked to proofread an email once and had to remind the author to add the “t” to the name before sending…
June 4th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
any chance you’d be interested in writing my job description?
June 5th, 2007 at 11:05 am
sure, no problem at all. Forward your list of keywords.