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RSSDreaming of Parachute Pants and Mighty Viking Helmet
Last night I had a dream that I was doing the robot, and someone looked amazed and said “Dude, that’s awesome.”
When the best thing your brain can dream of is people thinking you’re cool for doing a dance that is so inherently uncool that it hasn’t been seen in 25 years, there might be something wrong with your imagination. Or, it could be a sign.
Like the seven hawks I saw circling above me after a run today. Or the three more that showed up a few minutes later.
It’s rare to see more than two circling hawks around here, so ten had me walking along with my neck craned watching them all. Because I’m two leather armbands short of a Viking king thanks to Amon Amarth, the only logical explanation was that the hawks were congregating to bring me a message from Odin.
And if it took ten hawks to bring it, you know it was one kick ass message. It probably had something to do with mighty power or ageless wisdom, but it could have easily been about a kick ass dragon boat or my own personal army of giants. Hell, even if Odin didn’t have time to shop and sent along a BestBuy gift card, I’d be fine with that.
Unfortunately, I never got any message because hawks ignored me while floating around in their stupid hawk party for jerks. Let this be a lesson to you: If you need to send a message, don’t use hawks. You have to use more of them per message, and they’ll forget to deliver it anyway because they’re pretty much dumber than shit.
If you have to send a message, send a kick ass robot. They’re efficient, they can shoot their fists off if there’s any trouble, and people think that they are so totally awesome that they dream about imitating them on the dance floor.
Or at least I do.
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May 10th, 2007 at 1:04 am
All this viking talk reminds me of an old joke we used to have back in the high school band days. It goes something like this:
Note – “Drakkar” in this little conversation is to be pronounced “dray-car”
Band Nerd 1: (talking blah blah blah….) (something mentioning the word Drakkar)
Band Nerd 2: “Did somebody say DRAKKAR?!? DRAKKAR! The essence of ancient viking looooooooooooove making!”
Holy crap it’s even more retarded when it’s typed out. But yea, good times.
And at least you weren’t doing the worm in your dream.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:09 am
hmmmm….were they hawks or vultures? wings extending in a v-shape from the body rather than completely horizontal? a bit wobbly in flight? if so, that might add a bit of a twist to your so called omen…
May 10th, 2007 at 1:18 am
Whoa, that hawk incident was pretty mysterious. Perhaps you should have done the robot for the Odin-hawks. Maybe that was the code that they were looking for! At the very least, they’d think you were cool.
May 10th, 2007 at 5:11 am
I looked them up to make sure they weren’t falcons, and they matched the shape of hawks. And I don’t think we have vultures here, do we?
May 10th, 2007 at 8:11 am
We do have turkey vultures here in good old New England, but typically they’re very distinctive.
Obviously Odin should have sent Robot-Hawks. Or at least a sexy Valkyrie. A sexy robot Valkyrie….
May 10th, 2007 at 10:30 am
I totally had something witty to say, but then i started thinking about sexy robot Valkyries and it’s totally gone now… but i’ve got a great idea for a hentai flick.
May 10th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Amon Amarth’s sample pages got me to turn off The Serpent and The Rainbow on the boobtoob.
Impressive. Most Impressive.
And now I hear “Valkyrie…is about to die!”, “Wizard needs food badly!”, “Valkyrie shot the potion!”, “Elf shot the food!”, and “Warrior needs food badly!”
Over and over.
Send metal.
-d—
May 11th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Not vultures — buzzards. As in Buzzards Bay? Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Much more common to see them in groups than hawks, which tend to hunt alone. But still an interesting omen…or perhaps a commentary on your running fitness?
May 11th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
I’m no bird watcher but I thought a buzzard was a hawk. I thought it was just a derogatory name for the hawk in North America, but had another meaning in Europe. By every picture that I could find, the wings looked like hawk wings.
And har har on the running crack. I’m slow, but not THAT slow. Prepare for a thunderbolt upon thee.
May 12th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Hmm. It’s interesting. Growing up on the Cape, I’d come to think the name “buzzard” referred to a distinct type of bird. After some Wiki searching, however, it seems the term is very ambiguous and, as you mention, means different things in the “Old World” (hawks) and the “New World” (vultures). I think that KFC and yo sis were correct, and what I had always referred to as a Buzzard was actually a Turkey Vulture. And, even more interesting, Buzzard’s Bay it seems, was named by colonists who saw osprey in the area and thought they were Old World buzzards. *Sheesh*