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A couple of weeks ago on a Friday afternoon, a co-worker and I turned down a hallway, just as a young woman approached from the opposite direction. On first glance, I couldn’t say that there was anything unusual enough about her that I’d be able to pick her out of a lineup of young college grads working in the financial industry.
As she approached, she gave me a sideways glance. A few seconds later, another. As a six foot tall, 210 pound guy with an accidentally angry face and a big, sloppy beard, I wish that I could claim this was unusual, but I’d be lying if I say that I was surprised. What did surprise me though, was that when she got within a foot of me, she burst into song. It wasn’t like singing to yourself singing, either.
It was “singing by yourself while vacuuming the living room with a Walkman on” singing.
Yea. There was no Walkman, there was no vacuum, and there certainly was no living room. To add to the insanity, even though there was plenty of volume, I could not figure out if the lyrics of her song were made up of actual words.
You know when you pass by someone who suddenly seems batshit crazy and you want to ask the people you’re with “What the fuck?” but you know that the minute you go once decibel above mouthing the words there is a pretty good possibility that you’ll end up in the middle of a shitstorm of insanity? Because I had made it through the whole week without a shank in the neck, I kept my mouth shut until we were safely out of earshot.
Once safely back within the confines of nerd village, I related the story to several coworkers. None of them could come up with a reasonable explanation for the young woman’s behavior until someone chimed in,
“Maybe she thought that singing was the recommended defense against the Sasquatch.”
Sunufa.
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March 19th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
I envy the fact that you work in an office where apparently there is one crazy for every ten people.
I guess that’s the advantage of working a day shift job in an office.
I work second shift in the I/S division of this company and there are five people on our shift. Nobody EVER does crazy stuff like that. My highlights are when someone issues the wrong command and nearly brings the entire mainframe to a screeching halt.
I literally laughed out loud at this post.
And your analogy skill is a force to be reckoned with.
Envy.
March 20th, 2007 at 7:58 am
Post a picture with the beard. It would be good art for the blog. Do it. Do it.
You are pushing the scales at 210 now? How long have you been there? I always figured you for the 170 to 180 weight range. Maybe that was college? I am up around 194. Not to happy about it either. That whole metabolism thing is starting to kick in. Or rather, not kick in.
March 20th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
hysterical. this cracked me up.
how much longer does the beard get? is the end in sight or will it remain forever and ever????
is the additional poundage you mentioned due to the beard?
March 20th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
The beard is shaved off when it’s time, and the pictures are released soon after (like this or this).
The beard has nothing to do with the weight, though, which comes from going to the gym and lifting the pink and purple dumbells.
March 20th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Just for kicks, if you DO take a picture, you oughta score a red flannel shirt from the local thrift shop (assuming you don’t already have one) and have an axe over your shoulder in true lumberjack fashion.
March 20th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Errr. That is, if you take a picture BEFORE the shaving procedure commences.