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Today is a day that I’m pretty embarrassed to be a Masshole. For those that don’t know the story, Turner Broadcasting paid two guys to put up LED signs as part of a viral ad campaign for their upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie. The signs featured a picture of a Mooninite giving the finger. Turner arranged to have signs put up in Atlanta, Austin, Boston, Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, Portland, San Francisco, and Seattle. They did this two or three weeks ago.
If I saw a LED Mooninite giving me the finger from a bridge, I can say that I would point, laugh, and try to explain to #1GF! why it was funny. Unfortunately, Boston freaked out, shut down major roadways, and sent in bomb squads to blow up the signs. Every newscast featured serious broadcasters talking about the “devices” that were being found and shutting down the city.
When it was finally revealed that the whole amounted to nothing but a bunch of advertisements that would, with any luck, be the least threatening thing gracing some lucky college kid’s dorm room, our embarrassed mayor had the people who put up the signs up for Turner arrested and charged with distributing “hoax devices”, under a statute used to prevent people from distributing fake bombs to cause a panic. He also claimed that he had his lawyers working on a case to sue and possibly level criminal charges against Turner Broadcasting. The mayor claimed a $500,000 damage figure, which had to be repeated several times because I don’t think that the microphone was positioned close enough to his asshole to hear.
When I talked about this, I was surprised to hear that a lot of the people actually agreed with the Mayor. In their minds, these guys should have known that lite-brites hung up around a city would be construed as a bomb threat in a post 9/11 world. Advertising should have a permit. There is no room for jokes. Anything could be a bomb and should be regarded with suspicion and treated with overreaction.
Yet, on one of the news reports, they talked to a guy at Fenway Park who had known about the signs for weeks and thought they were just a funny prank. In Seattle, a police Sergent was quoted as saying, “At this point we wouldn’t even begin an investigation, because there’s no reason to believe a crime has occurred.”
Frankly, I agree. Let’s be honest. These things don’t remotely resemble bombs. They look like Lite-brites. At worst they might be a choking hazard for children under three and possibly the mayor of Boston.
To continually call them “devices” on the news instead of “signs” incites unnecessary concern. To charge these two guys with trying to panic the public is nothing but an idiot Mayor looking for a scapegoat to make him look like less of an idiot. To passively accept these overreactions makes Massholes look like a panicky bunch of pussies who don’t deserve the tattered scraps of freedom that are gradually being pulled through our fingers.
When what is funny makes you afraid, and when the smallest actions get massive overreactions, how can a citizen remain free?
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February 1st, 2007 at 10:17 pm
I was simply thinking about this as idiocy on the government level, but you bring up a good point about the media continually referring to them as “devices.” They are subtly and effectively slanting this incident.
February 1st, 2007 at 11:42 pm
I hate to admit it, but the paranoid side of my brain said that the mayor made a back door deal with Turner Broadcasting to intentionally blow this completely out of proportion. Turner would get tons of coverage and the mayor would get a mediated $500,000 settlement for the city.
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:11 am
cough, cough, dumbass, cough, cough. Welcome to the US, where every little thing is a terrorist threat….that should be a sign posted at all airport runways.
February 2nd, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Look…the government listening in on our telephone conversations is invasion of privacy and a loss of our freedom – because it is explicitly forbidden by our Constitution and our “Illustrious Leader” seems to think that he is above the law. This incident, however, doesn’t bother me one bit. I’m quite happy in knowing that there is someone out there attempting to keep my streets free of potentially explosive ANYTHINGS! I don’t care what it looks like. I don’t feel that my freedom has suffered one bit over this incident. And, I guarantee that if YOU worked on the bomb squad, you would almost certainly “explode first, and ask questions later” even if it was a ketchup bottle.
February 3rd, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Yea, and if I was a fireman, I’d wear a oxygen tank into a burning building. So what?
The key words here are “potentially explosive”. If this was such a security threat, why was Boston the only city to take the extremist route? Are we smarter than the nation, dumber than the nation, or bigger pussies?
Franklin once said, “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
When everything is a potential threat, everyone is a potential threat.
February 3rd, 2007 at 9:06 pm
I don’t get it. What “essential liberty” did we “give up”? Free speech? Are we talking “Give me guerrilla marketing or give me death?” They weren’t pulling people out of their cars and frisking them under “suspicion of mooninites.” I agree that the two “art students” shouldn’t be held responsible for this. But Ted Turner wouldn’t be allowed to drop a 50 foot billboard in the middle of I93 without a permit because of the traffic issues it would cause. Why is this any different?
February 3rd, 2007 at 9:16 pm
If you don’t see the difference between putting small signs up and blocking a highway with a billboard, then what can I say?
This causes a chilling effect. If there are major fines and arrests because a couple of guys put up some (actually kinda cool) signs around this city, will other artists or anyone do the same?
It’s doubtful.
When small actions carry major risk, they are less likely to be undertaken. And if you need a permit to put up a sign, is it free speech?
Are you just arguing to make this post have the most comments ever? I think it doesn’t count if it’s the two of us.
February 4th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
Signs Signs everywhere a sign.
After driving eight hours across McAmerica, I’ve come to the realization that eventually we won’t be able to look at the goddamn moon itself without Ignignokt and Err flipping us the bird as hard as they possibly can.
And Ted color the world wierd Turner should have fucking known better. Does it make me a pussy to have said out loud
Glad I didn’t take the train today
when I saw the city of Boston shut fucking down because of a TV show that I’ve played in the backyahd being made into a movie’s Guerrilla advertising?
Guerrilla anything in this country should only be of the McGilla flavor please.
Freedom isn’t free, and if there were bombs instead of Mooninites, what would we be saying now? THAT freedom ( the one of speech ) is what is important here, not the freedom to plant hoax devices that threaten panic, chaos, the four horseman and Metallica growing their hair back.
-d—
February 7th, 2007 at 1:41 am
Sorry I have to disagree with you on this one. Everyone keeps on saying the ads didn’t look like bombs so they shouldn’t have been a problem. But what are bombs suppose to look like? A couple of sticks of TNT with a ticking clock? Maybe Wiki or Google has image we can compare it to. Oh good, this device has 3 sticks while the device in Google has 4, we’re safe. Sorry that’s not going to cut it when past conflicts around the world has seen bombs placed inside dolls, toys and other innocent looking objects. Also, I can possibly see an overreaction to 1 device, but when there’s a report of numerous devices on infrastructure around the city, alarm bells should be ringing. Am I being paranoid? Sure, maybe that’s just me.
Also, do you have that much confidence in our country’s ability to protect us from those who might want to harm us? Yes? No? I don’t. I don’t lose any sleep over it, but I don’t trust it. But it makes me feel better that appropriate actions were taken the other day. Past and present conflicts (Afganistan vs USSR, Vietnam vs US) have shown guerrilla warfare is effective against more powerful countries, so why should this be any different.
And this incident has only possibly helped any terrorist want-a-be’s. As a terrorism non-pro looking at what happened the other day, I learned several things. First, half of the population is now complacent about innocent looking objects so now I can put bombs in anything (even a copy of the devices) and claim some lives. Secondly, I’ve now seen how the city officals responded in rerouting traffic (what got stopped where and what was sent where) which I can use to make secondary attacks more effective – a la the London attacks which hit the buses after an initial subway bomb. Could the re-routes have been predicted? Sure, but this confirms the routes. Thirdly, I saw what resources were pulled where (police doing traffic duty, etc…) , leaving gaps in coverage. I’m not sure what I would do with that info exactly, but I’m not a terrorist.
Am I being paranoid? Sure, but then again I was born in a country (not the US for those of you playing the home game) that was actively at war to parents who had lived through numerous conflicts.
And keep in mind these signs weren’t put up for art’s sake or something a fan put up. They were ads for a large corporation whose CEO’s bonus last year was more than what you and I will make in our lifetimes.
February 7th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
A. If these were real bombs, they would’ve blown up 3 weeks ago with no quick action by the authorities. The items were in place for 3 weeks.
B. No other city in the nation made this into an issue to gain a cool 2 Million.
C. This is not class warfare. People make more $$. I don’t care who put the signs up.
D. Overreactions over to minor issues have a chilling effect.
February 8th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
A. Bomb squad didn’t know when they were put up. So to them it could have been 5 minutes ago.
B. Maybe none of the other dopes in the other cities put their devices on infrastructure. As a result, cities didn’t see them as a risk and therefore didn’t spend any resources on it. Can’t bill for something that didn’t happen.
C. You’re right, it’s not about who makes more money. It’s about Turner having the financial means to notify the proper authorities, fill out the paperwork and pay whatever fees needed before putting up the devices. It would have appeared the same to the average joe without inconviencing thousands of people who were just trying to get through their day.
D. Inaction to potentially risky situations gets your name on a monument in the middle of a big hole.
February 8th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
Hmmm. I guess my C reply does make it sound like class warfare. I basically meant to say that the marketing could have better executed without the collateral damage.
March 2nd, 2007 at 8:33 am
i agree; this is insanity. especially if they were already up for 3 weeks!!! twas a sad day for boston…and we’re supposed to be the good intelligent ones…sometimes anyway…