I can’t believe that Halloween is almost upon us. And everyone knows that a good Halloween starts with four basic ingredients: decorations, music, video, and a costume.

Decorations

Let’s start with the decorations. You can carve a pumpkin like everyone else, but that’s not very novel is it? What about carving one from one of the Homestarrunner Pumpkin patterns? No one will get it, but on the off chance that someone does, they will think you are cool.

If that’s just too much work, or you’re worried about getting pumpkin goo all over your officially licensed, 100% authentic Captain Kirk shirt, why not take a stab at making some ghosts or bats to hang around the house? You could do that, right? Look at this cute little bastard:

Bust out that box of tampons and the provided instructions and get your place decorated.

Music

Once the place is decorated, you’re going to need to fill the air with spooky toons. For those into musical oddities, Louie sent over this massive list of 90 (yes, 90!) obscure Halloween records from the Forbidden Crypts Of Haunted Music. There is so much good stuff in there that it might require that you pick up the Firefox extension “DownThemAll” to rapidly download all of the tunes without inadvertently click click clicking your way to madness.

On the same wavelength, even though I have to say that this year’s Oddiooverplay Halloween album was pretty disappointing, they still offer Ghouls with Attitude Volume 1 & 2 and a Munsters remix called “Munster Beat!” for your free downloading pleasure.

If you are still unsatisfied with the level of weirdness in your newly acquired tunes, you can download all of the original sounds recorded from Disney’s Haunted Mansion to play over and over to ramp up your Halloween spirits.

Videos

Once you’re in full Halloween swing, make sure you download (or stream) Nosferatu, Night of the Living Dead, and other old horror movies courtesy of the Internet archive.

If those don’t scare the kids, then kick it up a notch with the next videos. There’s nothing that can strike fear into children’s hearts on Halloween night like a pedophile and his dancing army of Vampirezombies. You know I’m talking about: MJ’s “Thriller”. Watch all 8 glorious minutes below…

…But unless you count sexual habits, Thriller doesn’t add much to the “weird” theme of this post now, does it? That’s why I dug out the Indian version of Thriller. You haven’t seen anything, yet. Oh enjoy this one…Enjoy it to hell!

And once you’re videoed out, wind down with last years Homestar Halloween Adventure and dig those crazy costumes.

Crap. Costumes. If you’re actually one of those social types without bodies to dispose of, you may find yourself in need of something to wear this weekend. Let’s tackle that now.

Costumes

I tried to find you something cool like a “Fletch in the LA Lakers dream sequence”, but from what I gathered from online costume shops, if you’re a guy, every costume is going to make you look like a dork. If you’re a girl, every costume out there will essentially make you look like a filthy, filthy, dirty, filthy whore. I’m not just saying that because I know you like it. No. I’ve provided the proof below:

Boy Judge and Girl Judge (Yes, it says “Guilty” across her ass):

Sno White and the Seven Dwarves:

Whoredy Ann and Pedophile Andy:

He-devil and She-devil:

And even the “Biblical” Costumes Get In on it (Yes, that is a Nun costume):

God bless America.

The Wrap Up

By this point, you have the tunes, you have the vids, you’re dressed like a whore or a dork, and you have strung tampons from every hangable surface. You should be well prepared for the holiday, and I seriously hope you are taking pictures.

Happy Halloween!

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Posted in Lazy Linking, Movies, Music, Strange