Match Point (mystery): Although there were a couple of neat cinematic moments, I have to say that not only was I was bored through the movie’s entirety, but the acting was so awful that I think #1GF! and I could’ve given a better performance if given only 20 minutes to review the script. I’m becoming a firm believer that if she lacked her various big body parts, Scarlet Johansen would never have been put in front of the camera. I find her complete lack of acting ability absolutely fucking astounding. I think that the guy who recommended this movie rents movies solely based on what female actress is in them. D

Just Friends (comedy): The fat kid is in love with his best friend the cheerleader. She doesn’t like him, so he vows to be rich, famous and thin. He comes back 10 years later to sweep her off her feet. This could’ve been so much funnier than it was, but it wasn’t horrible. C+

BattleStar Galactica Season 1.0 and 2.0 (TV): I did not want to like this, but I ended up getting really hooked on the mini-series. I can’t say that I was a major fan of the original, but I remember it being pretty craptastic for a Star Wars knockoff. The remake of the series has plenty of nods to the old series for the fan of the original, while updating it enough to make it seem less hokey to new viewers. They reworked the Cylons into a more human form, and they even replaced a couple of the main male characters from the original series with women. I originally thought that the idea seemed doomed to fail (even when considering the mens’ feathery hairstyles of the 70’s) but after watching, I have to say that it was a good decision. I’m glad that I watched this on DVD, because every goddamned episode is either a cliff-hanger or dead boring. B

Must Love Dogs (chick flick) This is yet another movie where John Cusack plays the same role that he has been playing since Say Anything. The basic premise of this film is that some chick puts out a personal ad after she gets divorced, yadda yadda, she meets Cusack, and they all live happily ever after. C

Ikiru (foreign drama): Kanji is a Japanese bureaucrat who spends his entire life pushing papers in a government office. He finds out that he has cancer, forcing him to completely reexamine his life. Even taking into consideration that this was made in 1952 and is in Japanese, I don’t think that today’s average corporate cube farmer will have trouble finding common ground with this movie. The only issue that I have with it is its slow pace, but that’s a problem with most older films, not this one in particular. B

The Matador (dark comedy): Pierce Brosnan plays a lone hitman who accidentally befriends a small-time salesman (Greg Kinnear) in a bar in Mexico. A weird friendship ensues. The way these two characters contrast each other made for a pretty entertaining watch. The only complaint that I can remember having about the film was that I wanted the big blue letters that appeared on the screen to be red, but that’s not really justifiable. B+

Walking Tall (action): This was the remake of the 1973 film of the same name. Essentially, a guy replaces the town mill with a casino and starts selling drugs from it. The Rock doesn’t like that, so he starts whacking people around with a 2×4. There was action, and I don’t mind The Rock, but I can’t say it was worth a watch. C

Six Feet Under Seasons 1-6 (TV): This is a series about a family who owns a funeral home and what they go through. I was taken with the originality of the series during the first season, but then every character got so self absorbed and overly dramatic that I watched each episode only to see if one of them would fucking die. Yes. By the time they all did, it wasn’t nearly as gory as I thought they deserved for wasting so much of my time. This is worse than Sex in the City. D-

Clerks II (comedy): I went to the movies, cock knockers! As you know, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back” is one of my favorite movies of all time, but after watching Clerks II, it’s almost as if Kevin Smith (director) hasn’t expanded his writing style or directing ability since making Clerks ten years ago. If you liked the original Clerks, this movie is essentially a grosser version: The story is essentially the same, the characters are the same, and you’ll even notice the same long, heartfelt dialogs punctuated by fart jokes that are trademarks of the original. While I don’t mistake shock value and fart jokes for comedy, I can’t say that I don’t appreciate them. I do. And I miss my donkey. B+

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