A couple of weeks ago, #1GF! and I walked into the complex gym for an early morning workout. Because it was half passed early, the lights were off and no one seemed to be there, except, in the hall, neatly placed, sat a lonely pair of sneakers.

Confused, we both stood for a minute listening for any sign of life.

Hearing nothing louder than our own breaths, I gave the “raised eyebrow point at the men’s room” gesture, which is listed in most military manuals as “You want me to check the men’s room for some sort of creepy barefoot naked guy?”

Of course, I got the nod from the commander, and in I went.

There was no one in there.

After shrugging the “all clear” sign, I motioned for #1GF! to follow me into the workout room. Once the door was shut behind us, I actually said the following:

“I know you probably want to check the ladies room, but if there’s a big, bloody suicide in there, it’s going to ruin any chance of a workout. There’s obviously no noise coming from in there, so if there is a body in there, it’s not going anywhere in the next 30 minutes. So, do you mind if we check after we work out?”

Considering that the owner of the lonely shoes was never found, was my statement an indication of a deep character flaw or merely good time management?

Posted in #1GF!, Philosophical BS