For the last 3 nights, teenagers have been keeping you awake all night by getting screaming drunk at the complex pool. You’re getting old enough that you want to call the cops, but not that old that you don’t want to jump the fence and beat the fuck out of each and every one of them.

It’s not all the kids’ fault, though. Part of the tired is because you have been going to the gym every day for the past 40 days in a row. You have absolutely no reason for this behavior. You’re not training for anything, you’re not stressed about anything, and you really don’t give a flying fuck about six pack abs. I am betting you don’t make 10 more days because the fat kid in here really wants a cookie.

Even though you’re not really enjoying the gym, you did enjoy the second annual Hull outdoor car show this weekend. They picked the perfect weather to close off the main strip and line it with hot rods. Because the event was free, you were surprised by the number and variety of cars. You saw ZZ-Top style ‘33 Fords, Big Daddy Roth style T-buckets, a dragster with a parachute, and a ‘74 Dodge Swinger with a 6 barrel carb that nearly made your dinky move. You saw some Ferraris, a Lamborghini Murcielago, 2 Lotus Esprits, 2 Lotus Elises, some 50’s Chevys, and a tricked-out El Camino with an assload of hydraulics.

When #1GF! saw the El Camino, she looked at you and proclaimed very matter-of-factly that it was Krunkin’. You told her that she had no idea what she was talking about, to which she proclaimed that she did. She went further to tell you that it was still krunkin’, despite any protest you could make. You didn’t think that this was right, but you had no idea what the fuck krunkin’ even meant, so you were not on very good ground to debate. Plus, she had already walked away grinning to look at a chopped down Ford.

While standing there alone listening to all the gearhead chatter, you realized what it must be like for a person who knows a little about computers to listen to you talk. You figured you must make people pretty tired.

You saw a lot of really professional show cars, but you also saw a bunch of cars that looked like they could’ve been parked on the street from the night before and people just assumed that they were in the show. You noticed that one of them even had crumbled Cheezits in the door handle, which prompted you to consider paying the $12 to bring your EVO down without so much as washing it. You were also going to make claims that it had extensive “megatronics” and ran on a mixture of “rice and Jesus.” Any questions about the collection of swimming trophies in front of it were to be answered with a simple “Fuckin’ A.”

(Un)Fortunately, you did none of this because you were too damned tired from the gym.

(Remind yourself to read this next year to get the KrunkMobile ready for the 3rd annual car show.)

Posted in #1GF!, Cars, Happy