Bamboozled (drama): A Spike Lee Joint. If you remove 90% of the comedy and replaced the Jewish subject matter with African American subject matter, The Producers would be Bamoboozled. I think I Lost interest about halfway, because this version wasn’t funny or very thought provoking. D

The History of Violence (thriller): The critics loved this one. Vigo Mortensen owns a diner and heroically stops a robbery, which attracts mobsters who think Vigo is in the witness protection program. With that premise, this should’ve been awesome. Unfortunately, the acting sucked, the plot was written by a 5 year old, and our commentary was 100 times more entertaining than the movie. I actually got more out of saying, “Viiiiiiiiiigooooooo” than watching the movie. D-

The Ice Harvest (crime): Billy Bob Thornton and John Cusack plan a robbery from a small time mob boss, and nothing seems to go as planned. The movie was a slow moving double cross flick, but I forgave its pace for keeping me interested until the end. The only thing that I wish that they had done is make alternate ending #2 the real ending, because in the movies, flawed characters have to pay. I also enjoyed the outtake of BBT playing an entire scene with Cusack as the guy from SlingBlade. Yea. MMMM huh. B

Munich (drama): Terrorists killed the Israelis at the ‘72 Olympics, so an Israeli soldier goes under cover to hunt down all the people that had a hand in it. This was a slow and randomly gory movie that could have easily been shortened to two hours. Instead of being an action flick or a spy caper, it tried to be an epic, which didn’t really work out. And I thought this was Syriana, so during the whole thing, I kept looking at #1GF! and saying, “When the fuck does the bearded George Clooney show up?” C

Saved (comedy): This was bad version of Heathers/Mean Girls with a religious angle. There really isn’t much more to say. C

Jarhead: This was the story of soldiers in Desert Storm. The movie was as slow and pointless as the war, but I think that might actually have been intentional. The acting was good, but nothing really happened before the credits rolled. C+

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