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#1GF! has been pretty frustrated by the sneaky fuckheads at the car dealership who dragged us through a week of negotiations and blew a pretty sweet deal by trying to pretend that all factory-fresh cars arrive at the dealer with 76 miles on them (not to mention having the balls to state that there wasn’t another car like it available on the east coast and that the factories were no longer shipping 2006 models!). To me, any car with over 9 miles is either a demo or used, so the dealer wasted a lot of our time and energy. Originally thinking she had a good deal, #1GF! is still waiting to get her deposit back.
I’m a little difficult in these situations. I’m a fighter. I’ll go down to the dealer and make them hammer out a check. Then, I’ll call the corporate offices and tell them how “disenchanted” I am with the unscrupulous practices of the dealer and how poorly it reflects on the car brand. Then, I’ll threaten to file a police report for fraud. Having a pit bull can certainly make you feel safe, but sometimes when you just want to relax, I know that holding on to the leash can wear you down. So, I’ve tried to lay off, stop barking, and try to cheer her up a little.
They say that the easiest way to make someone happy is to give them unexpected gifts at unexpected times, so this week, I tried give her something small every day.
Monday: White flowers and some leeway.
Tuesday: The opportunity to live with someone who has earned the title of “Guitar Legend” by beating the Medium level of Guitar Hero. …And some pink flowers.
Wednesday: A clean bathroom.
Thursday: Steve Miller’s Greatest Hits CD (I just heard her giggle when she found it.)
Friday: Unknown. Is there anything that tops a clean bathroom? (suggestions are welcome).
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May 5th, 2006 at 8:34 am
Don’t go jewelry. Too trite. I’d say oral sex. You topped yourself with a clean bathroom man. That’s like the gold standard — unless you clean the whole house.
But, and I’m just suggesting (and I have no clue about your *ahem* life) — nothing says “Honey I love you” like oral sex. Better than diamonds.
May 5th, 2006 at 8:55 am
I’m with Viv….oral with absolutely no expectations on your end! Though the Steve Miller’s Greatest Hits is pretty good on the cheezy-fun scale. Friday’s should be something really goofy and Mexican since it is Cinco De Mayo. Dammit, hire a mariachi band to serenade her at her office! That’d be a hoot (please ask someone to video and then post here so we can all see).
May 5th, 2006 at 9:32 am
Cleaning the bathroom is the ultimate sacrifice. You should be on #1GF’s good side for at least six months for doing that!
May 5th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
Sexual favors really can’t be considered gifts. They’re free with the rent.
May 6th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
Looks like the only thing left for you to do would be win this…
http://air.vh1.com
-d—
May 9th, 2006 at 9:11 pm
Oral IN the clean bathroom.
May 10th, 2006 at 4:20 am
a big ‘ol jet airliner? or maybe battlefield 2?
May 10th, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Dude…we’re waiting to find out what the Friday present was…hopefully it wasn’t so bad she beaned you with a bat and now you’re in hospital unable to type, type, type on your blog!
May 10th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
Actually, I ran out of time, so I was unable to purchase her a copy of Battlefield2. It was getting to be expected by that time, anyway, which sort of violated the original premise.