Kung Fu Hustle (kung fu): The Axe gang runs all territories except for one small ghetto, but because of the actions of a couple of small-time crooks, the gang decides to take it over. Unfortunately, the ghetto is run by some of the greatest kung fu masters in the world. Carnage ensues. I generally don’t like fantasy kung fu where people have magic powers and fly through the air, but this flick circumvented my rule with a judicious use of slapstick. As long as you like kung fu and are willing to shut off the logical side of the brain, this is pretty entertaining. B+

Shaolin Soccer (kung fu): A group of poor guys with secret Shaolin kung fu skills learn to play soccer to challenge Team Evil for a million dollar prize. I don’t know if it was the people breaking into a dance rendition of “Thriller” and then returning to their business as if nothing had happened, or the kung fu tornado that tore people’s clothes off, but I think that this was one of the strangest movies that I have ever seen. And this is coming from a guy who once saw a movie where a guy strangled another guy with his own intestines (see Riki-Oh). The special effects are terrible and the story is beyond ridiculous, but the completely bizarre things that happened just kept me watching. I groaned a lot, but I laughed as I did. If this was a kids movie, I would understand it more. B

Elizabethtown (drama): A guy makes a monumentally poor decision on a sneaker design and loses nearly a billion dollars for his company. In the middle of setting up a particularly painful way to kill himself, he finds out that his father died and that he has to go pick up the body in Kentucky before continuing with his own demise. On the way, he meets a particularly interesting stewardess and we follow them for a couple of hours. There was barely enough of anything keeping me watching this movie. I’ll save you a couple of hours and tell you that the point of the whole thing is that people need people. D

Rules of Attraction (drama): Ah yes, old age has set in, and I’m finally ‘flixing movies that I’ve already seen. I saw this one back in 2003 and gave it a C. I stand by my original review, although I will bump my rating up because according to #1GF! I’m softening up in my old age. C+

The Squid and the Whale (drama): Oh man, when I saw the weird indy trailer for this movie, I walked right over to the old PC and added it to the Netflix queue. The preview suggested that it would be one of those indy character driven stories like Sideways that I just can’t seem to resist. Unfortunately, it ended up being about 2 kids dealing with their parents’ divorce in the 80’s. It ended up being too weird, too boring, and didn’t really go anywhere. If you think that it might not suck, let me just say that Billy fucking Baldwin was in it. Believe me now? C- (#1GF! gives it a C+)

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