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I usually finish off my sentence at the gym with legs because they take so much out of me. I had gone through my regular stuff, and had added power presses and dead lifts, so I was beyond tired by the time I got situated under the 450 lbs. I loaded on the leg press rack. I pushed up, unlocked the safety latches and started the set like I normally do. Except this time:
1… 2… 3…. 4… Phhhhbbbbttttt.
Yup. Completely unexpectedly, my colon decided that I was too tired to press the weight myself and shot a blast of malodorous might to help push the weight to the top of the sled.
I think I finished the remaining 8 reps in record time.
If there was a woman within 20 feet, I will guarantee that I would’ve been beet red and stammering, but because it was just meat heads and teenagers, I hope someone at least got a chuckle out of it.
I know I would’ve.
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January 30th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
lmao I’ll go ahead and admit that I have let one slip (it’s hard to catch them when you’re busy exerting yourself) at the gym. I think it’s fairly common. I was at the gym one day and this lady was on the elliptical and just could not stop farting and she just kept on ellipticaling; that’s dedication.
I do legs first, otherwise, they won’t get done and the feeling of relief that washes over me after I get that part of my workout done is very nice.
January 31st, 2006 at 10:23 am
Not gym related but at a martial arts class I was at we were practicing throwing.
The guys working out next to me were doing an over the shoulder throw and when his partner crashed on the ground he let our a HUGE fart. We had to stop class for the rest of the day ’cause no one could stop laughing.
Ah, laughing at farts. Is there nothing more basic?
January 31st, 2006 at 10:32 am
Jon, I would’ve turned red for you–for some reason I’m not remotely embarrassed when such things happen to me, but my empathy-meter goes off the scale when I’m around someone else who falls prey to the unexpected foof!
Laughing at farts just reverts us all back to the 3rd graders we really want to be!
January 31st, 2006 at 11:26 am
Good thing it was just a fart. I saw a guy have to drop the weights and run right to the men’s room. He actually blew mud during his fart and bolted.
February 1st, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Yep, its pretty difficult to sit in a chair all day and then get to working the muscles and leave your colon out of the mix…
My personal fave is after I’ve successfully avoided the elliptical toots, I go stretch out on the mats… bent in half, one knee to my chest, twisting and bending and folding and spreading my cheeks all over those unforgiving plastic mats…
Yep, and with my new idea of eating veggies… well, lets just say I haven’t been to the leg press and thanks to your imagry (and DB’s – blehck)I might just leave that to the gym junkies!
February 16th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
I can no longer read this while I am at work. I just laughed out loud so hard that my boss came over to make sure I was alright…