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RSSKung Hei Fat Choi
I am just an average white guy, but because I grew up in a city with the largest Asian population on the South Shore of Massachusetts, I have developed a propensity for Japanese cars, ginger candy, Vietnamese soup, green tea, sushi, and white bitches. I’m picky about Chinese takeout, but if you get me anywhere near an Asian market, I will clean out their candy aisle, no matter how strange. This has led some of the guys at work to jokingly refer to me as the “honorary Asian.” According to them, I own a mythical drift racing team called Combo #5 Racing, and will one day put “White Devil” across the hood of my car in Japanese.
It’s all in fun.
But last Thursday, I found a Lai Si for Tet on my desk. A Lai Si is a little red envelope with money or candy in it that married people give to single people for luck at occasions like weddings, Chinese New Year or Tet. In the 33 years and gajillions of Asian people I’ve been around, I’ve never gotten one. Even though it’s just a little envelope with a piece of candy in it, I was pyched to be one of the two people who got one. I actually felt honored.
It’s the little things, folks.
(Note: Sunday is Chinese New Year. It will be the year of the dog. Don’t forget to check your local paper to see if there’s a dragon or lion dance to see.)
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January 30th, 2006 at 12:26 am
You spelled Vietnamese wrong. The elders are upset. Your honorary Asian status is in jeopardy. You are on probation. You must repeat all your training once more! (Please insert grunts, looks of displeasure and beard stroking between each sentence while pronoucing everything in Chinglish.)
January 30th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
LOL for me with yellow guy response! I wished I had a red envelope so I could honor a couple of CHinese docs. I did say Happy New Year though!
January 30th, 2006 at 8:08 pm
I thought it was “Cool Whip” inlaid in gold along the racing stripes.
The painters are gonna be pissed.
Maybe they can still do “Whapped Crayem” on the trailer.
-d—
January 30th, 2006 at 10:59 pm
You have now saved face and your fellow villagers have been spared. You may resume eating ginger candy.
Happy New Year!!!
January 31st, 2006 at 12:22 am
YG: Thanks! Right back at you! (It should be noted that my villagers have such strong kung fu, that they have been known to turn their enemies into meat pies.)
DD: My personal whip will have the Japanese writing. The show car will still have “Whapped Crayem” across the front window and “rub it all ovah ya baday” in small script scrolling along the bottom of the driver’s door. There will obviously also be a giant Rick James head air brushed on the hood.