Miss Congeniality II (comedy): “Pile of shit” would be an understatement. F

Laws of Attraction (chick flick): It was a thoroughly predictable story about the top 2 divorce lawyers in New York falling in love. I don’t remember throwing up, although I don’t remember thinking “What a great movie.” I suppose it was ok. B-

Taxi (comedy): Queen Latifa has a tricked out rocket cab that transforms into a regular cab in the push of a button. Remember that concept from the Transformers cartoons? The cab that becomes a rocket cab? No? That’s because it’s a fucking stupid idea. I didn’t think that Jimmy Fallon could be in a worse movie than Fever Pitch, but I was wrong. Waste of time. C-

Twisted (drama): Samuel L. Jackson is in this, but even if he started wailing on people or swinging a light sabre, it couldn’t help this film. Let’s say I wrote a story about Bill, Jim, & Larry. Say someone kills Larry and I spend 2 hours of your time confusing you about whether it was Bill or Jim. How irritated are you going to be when I blurt out that was Timmy? A good twist should have some hints leading up to it. D

Hero (kung fu). I don’t usually like period kung fu movies (I hated Crouching Tiger) where people fly through the air use magic . I’m a sucker for hero movies, which allowed me to get past people jumping 20 feet into the air and hanging there while fighting. I also find it difficult to argue against Jet Li’s style of action movie. A

The Weather Underground (documentary): Not an incredibly entertaining documentary, but I had no idea that there was a group in the 70’s called the Weathermen Underground who bombed location after location in the U.S. It was interesting to see the opinions of the people involved and how revolution lived on in some and regret in others. C+

Camp (??): This is another case of Netflix bullshitting me about what a story is about. Theater people might be into this. I preferred to do the dishes. I walked away, so this gets an automatic F. F

Fist of Legend (kung fu): Jet Li remade this classic Bruce Lee flick. The fighting is awesome, and although I think that they played with the speed of film a bit, you can see that Jet Li put a lot of time into trying to fight and act like Bruce Lee. B+

Drunken Master (kung fu): This is a typical Jackie Chan flick full of wire work and wall to wall fighting. The only thing that differentiates it from the crappy movies on Saturday mornings was that it featured a really strange fighting style called drunken boxing. That might be enough to amuse hard-core kung fu fans, but I think it’s probably beyond silly for most people. C

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