I got the car serviced all the way up in Medford where the service manager owns an ‘04 EVO. Stock, the car is 276 HP and runs a 13 second quarter mile. He had bumped his to 430 HP and was running an 11. I simply cannot fathom that kind of power.

After that, we headed to check out the freshly opened IKEA store, which seemed to be an unholy union between a Target and a Home Depot. The place is huge and packed with gay dudes and overdressed, New York looking bitches who would run you over if you stood between them and the faintest whiff of a bargain. I’m 6 feet and 2 bills, and these women didn’t even notice me.

The one thing that I can give them credit for, is those Swedes sure know how to make a kid’s room look fun. A parent could really create some seriously cool rooms for their kids on the cheap.

After 4 hours, I ended up snagging a mirror, a red trash can, and a $12 French Press, which I got one cup of coffee out of before breaking. All in all, if you want to go to Target with a major parking problem, head for IKEA. Do it once. You have to at least see it.

On Saturday, I went to a 2 year old’s birthday where the following occurred:

Mom: [to 2 year old] Do you want me to change your diaper?
2YO: No.
Mom: Do you want auntie to do it?
2YO: No.
Mom: Do you want Jooooooonnnniiieeeee to do it?
2YO: [big smile] YES!
Me: No. Auntie. Aun-tie. She said “auntie”.

Then, on Sunday, some friends drove all the way down to the South Shore to have brunch with #1GF! and I. One couple is having a baby and the other is getting married. It’s hard to come up with something comparable to that so I lied about being the new bassist for Metallica. Everyone from the South Shore knows that this is a total lie, because I rejected Metallica’s offer with a hand written note that simply said, “Get fucked, nancies. WarHammer Rules.”

And here I am at the end of a three day weekend looking ahead to a 4 day week.

Posted in Misc.