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So, I’m reading a post over at GeeseAplenty about how Greg is a little sick of the whole NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) obsession that has reared it’s head once again this year. While I find myself indifferently shrugging over whether someone should should take a stab at writing a book in a month or obsessing about it on their personal virtual homestead, I did agree with him whole-heartedly on one point:
NaNoWriMo sounds like a big, fat pain in the ass.
This of course got me thinking. What about people like me to whom procrastination is more of a lifestyle than a character flaw? How the hell could I write a book in a month? My gaming would suffer, my blogging would suffer, my PVR would fill up, and Netflix would raise prices to cover the money they spent on tech support specialists to figure out why my queue had suddenly and completely stalled. And what would I end up with after paying the hefty 5000 word per day entrance fee? The rewards just don’t seem like they’d exactly outweigh the effort.
This is not to say that I don’t yearn to belong to a stupidly named club for jerks, too. Not writing a book shouldn’t stop me. That’s just discrimination. And when you discriminate, you make an ass out of you and me. Or something like that.
So, for the less industrious among us who don’t feel that it’s too much to want results that at least match the effort that went in, I’m shunning NaNoWriMo and starting my own month. My month will allow people to be part of something, give them a visible reward, and won’t require anything near 5000 words per day to complete.
So, to everyone reading, I’m officially declaring December to be MaBeGroMo (Macho Beard Growing Month).
The rules are simple (even for us).
MaBeGroMo Rules
Rule 1: At some point between now and December 1, you take a “before” picture of yourself and put your razor away.
Rule 2: At some point after December 31, you take an “after” picture of yourself, and decide whether to reunite with your razor or renew your short-term contract with your newly found friend. You may then claim the title of “MaBeGroMo Member”
Rule 3: If you make it to February 14, you have beaten the extended challenge and can rightfully claim the title of “MaBeGroMo Champion.”
Rule 4: If you make it past February 14, step out of the Home Depot, put down the deer carcass, and shower well before signing up for several internet “dating” services. This is just a suggestion.
You’re thinking about it. I can see it. I’ve taken the liberty of answering some of your presented concerns to give you the encouragement to get started in The Beard FAQ. Good luck.
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November 16th, 2005 at 2:14 am
i’m so happy to see shaving 101 and 102 revived. they crack me up every time.
November 16th, 2005 at 10:56 am
boss, all those apply, GF says shave that shit off!, no-go at work (work in the bread factory, but good news! Off from dec.12th till jan.12 so ….I’m in. hell with everybody. Ill start b4 we leave to the states and try my root-tootinly-darndest to keep it the whole vacation. rawk on
November 16th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
Hmmmm… hairy bread.
November 18th, 2005 at 3:02 am
ok, what about the stache? can it be shaved on a regular basis and grow just an amish beard? and shave on the neck area? or is everything off limits to shaving?? (as far as the face goes ;P)
November 18th, 2005 at 6:47 am
There are only a few rules. Participants should customize the rules to fit their needs. Make MaBeGroMo your own.
Personally, my stash sucks, but it will be grown. I will also be shaving my neck area. But that’s me.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:51 am
Do neck beards count?
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
You bet!
November 15th, 2008 at 12:22 am
Hey…….i usually shave off all my beard and leave only a moustache and a soulpatch……then i wait for like two weeks b4 shaving it off again to normal style………..my beard grows pretty quickly and i i wait for a month…..every1 from my parents to teachers to friends will start complaining…………..worst part is i live is SE Asia where no on seems to have facial hair……….wat to do???? I hope someday to grow a winnfield……..:)
November 26th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
So you’ve inspired me to try all the beard types *in order*. I realize that you’ve been trying them out, but I figured that an arbitrary restriction would make it more difficult, and therefore even more fun. Also, I’m basically going to do each one from scratch.
Today I shaved my one week of stubble into something vaguely resembling a Hollywoodian, so I’m going to live with that for several weeks and see how it develops. Methinks I look quite suave, although I’ll have to consult with my wife to determine whether that is indeed the case. Of course, then I have to shave that one and start working on Mutton Chops. This may take the better part of a decade.
The only one I’m nervous about is the Super Mario. In addition to being nearly impossible, it also looks ridiculous. I’m not sure I can bear to go into work with that one. Maybe I’ll just keep it for a weekend, and for the photographs. Also, I might do El Insecto while I’m on vacation or something.
The rest of them, I’m pretty sure I can pull them off, at least for a few weeks. I already tried something more or less like a Copstash for a 70s party last year, and it was fun for a few weeks. Then people started thinking that it was my normal grooming pattern, and it got a little weird.
November 28th, 2008 at 6:15 am
you’re becoming my beard-guru.
i’m a fan of the braided beard, but i’m too meticulous when i shave, looking for perfect symmetry… i was looking for braid-rings when i get to your site… greeeeaaat…
i’m gonna try to show some progress by pictures
December 10th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Thanks for legitimizing my facial hair experimentation. Your site is ASD therapy for my family.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Hey Jon ! Greetings from France !
I’ve tried to grow a beard since the beginning of October, but some friend of mine advised me to shave under the lower jaw’s level and let the rest grow. I didn’t like it but shaved it like this so far. This evening I tried one of your beard style that could be cool with this “beard growing method” (sorry my english is horrible but I’ve not talked this language for years) and cut it wrong somewhere… so I cut more, then I realized it was horrible, then I cut everything… XD
The neck beard remain, and plenty of it !!! I’m waiting for my girl to cut it too…
Something went wrong doctor but I’m ready to try it again !
Any advice ?
Suggestion : you should try to link the beard types to face types. I’ve got a small chin and I don’t know which type of beard to grow.
December 12th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
You are just so excellent.
My all time favorite facial embellishment is a handlebar. Here in London there is a handlebar mustache club that meets once a month http://www.handlebarclub.co.uk/index.php . I am determined to get there and find Mr Perfect. Keep up the good work.
December 19th, 2008 at 10:42 am
A couple friends and I have been celebrating Facial Hair February for a few years now.
It sounds like this is exactly the same thing, and I’m glad to see it being done in other forms.
Wear your beard proudly!
December 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am
this month already exists… its called no shave november
December 25th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
In New Zealand we already have this in place — it’s called Decembeard — which follows Movember
February 17th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Sorry I’m late to the party here. I just thought I’d mention Whiskerino (with which I am not affiliated nor in which have I ever participated) as a good source for beard-growing camaraderie. No need to reinvent the wheel, right?
February 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
There are so many beard activities during the winter months: No Shave November, November Beard Club, Movember, Decembeard, Bearduary, Whiskerino, MaBeGroMo, that there are plenty of places for beardos to get involved.
Until all wheels fit all people, I encourage wheel production and differentiation. There’s plenty of room for everybody in the wild world of beards.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:29 pm
[...] He has dedicated much of his personal blog to posts about how to grow a beard, beard folklore and MaBeGroMo, a beard-growing marathon that he declares during the month of December (not [...]
October 12th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Just read all your beard stuff, brilliant. I aspire to have such beard authority.
November 12th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
[...] No Shave November, the month between Octobeard and MaBeGroMo. [...]
December 2nd, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I’m inspired! I’m going for it!
December 17th, 2009 at 1:00 am
What about us macho dudes that already have a beard? Don’t discriminate!
January 6th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I grew a mini hulihee last year from the 1st January to the 14th February and found the whole experience quite liberating.
I started growing my beard again this year on new years day. I am striving to get till the end of February.
Wish me luck!
Steve from the toon
February 14th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
I’m a MaBeGroMo Champion! After 75 days, my beard has filled out, and I’m excited. It’s getting trimmed, but it’s sticking around for sure. It looks like it might even get some of the good attention you read about in magazines, or hear about in movies.
I hope things are fine with you, and keep up the website,
Alex from Canada