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This is one of those chain mails that I got recently. I figured posting it is easier than annoying a whole bunch of people with it. Copy and put your answers in the comments if you are so inclined.
What is your ideal amount of sleep?
8.5 hours
Diamonds or pearls?
My testicles reject said question with authority.
What was the last film you saw?
L4yer Cake
What is your favorite TV show?
How I met your mother/Jerry Springer
What did you have for breakfast?
Same as the last 20 years: A bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.
What is your middle name?
Edward
What is your favorite cuisine?
Italian
What foods do you dislike?
Fucking bananas
What is your favorite footwear?
Vans.
Your favorite CD at the moment?
Lyrics Born - Later that Day
What kind of car do you drive?
A black, tinted out Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII with a big ass wing on it.
Characteristics do you despise?
Bitches, be they male or female.
Are you superstitious?
Nah.
Favorite item of clothing?
The Amoeba music T-shirt that my cousin gave me.
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Hef’s Grotto. (I really wish there was an emoticon for wiggly eyebrows.)
What is the best color for a room?
Red, orange, or any color with a high saturation. Don’t be a pussy with color.
Favorite brand of clothing?
Brooks Brothers.
Where would you retire?
Someplace cheap and safe that has LAN in the rooms and naughty nurses, hopefully. Female ones.
Favorite time of day?
As an Italian, I should say dinner, but I’ll have to say lunch.
Where were you born?
Dorchester, MA
Favorite sport to watch?
Motocross or X-games type stuff, maybe. Anything where people flip and twist through the air. The rest of the sports can just suck it. Seriously.
Last book you read?
It was a tie between “Early Bird” and “Bleachy Haired Honky Bitch”
What are you afraid of?
Sharks swimming underneath me.
What laundry detergent do you use?
This sounds bad, but whatever #1GF! uses (I’ve done my own laundry since the age of 12, so don’t start).
Favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Coffee Milk or coke. Maybe a strawberry shake, though.
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I hit my stride from noon until three.
Do you have pets?
If people can say their fucking dogs are their children, then I can say my PCs are my pets. In that case, I have a newborn thoroughbred, 5 I can’t teach new tricks, and one that I dismembered and threw around my office before he went and died on me.
Any new and exciting news you would like to share?
No gnus is good gnus.
What (who) did you want to be when you were little?
Alex P. Keaton or a mobster.
Favorite Candy?
Turkisk Pebbar from Sweden. It tastes like battery acid dipped in salt.
Favorite childhood memory?
The day I stopped taking shit and started throwing punches. I think I was 8.
What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
Lifeguard, dishwasher, office temp, pool guy, propane guy, LAN admin, and corporate whore.
The piece of technology that you would make out with if it had lips:
my PS2. Oh the PS2. I would kiss that little bitch like it’s never been kissed. I think this question is really unhealthy.
Piercings:
2 in the ear that may be open, but I ain’t testing ‘em.
Eye color:
Bluer than you remember.
Ever been to another continent?
Ireland, Sweden, and New York City, so yea.
Ever love someone so much it made you cry?
Yep.
Ever hate someone so much it made you scream?
Afraid so.
Been in a car accident?
People ram my cars. THEY FUCKING RAM ME ALL THE TIME.
Croutons or bacon bits?
Yes.
What would you be if money didn’t matter?
Very, very good at video games, and probably really, really fat. Or an electrician, maybe.
Favorite restaurant?
Tosca. Hands Down.
Favorite flower?
Cherry Blossoms are nice I suppose (I wish could think of a stripper name for this one).
Favorite ice cream?
Brigham’s Big Dig.
I like the smell of _______ but hate the smell of _________.
homemade sauce, NYC
If they paid me to _______, I’d me a millionaire.
Take things apart
Favorite fast food restaurant?
In n Out Burger, but I just won’t touch the stuff anymore.
Do you believe in Karma?
I’ve run out of illusions.
Pay the pros or do it yourself?
RTFM & DIY
From whom did you get your last e-mail?
Probably the bank.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Amoeba Music in Fan Francisco
What do you do most often when you are bored?
Stare at things or flail around.
Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?
Buxom Swedish models.
Who’s the last person you went to dinner with?
#1GF!
What are you listening to right now?
The hum of a 120 mil fan
City mouse or country mouse?
City
What is your favorite color?
Red.
Lake, Ocean or River?
Ocean.
How many tattoos do you have?
Just one big, badly thought out one.
Do you go for the best, the best deal, or the best price?
I am the eternal deal hunter.
All Time Favorite Concert?
Probably Monsters of Rock because I was a teenager and made out with this fat chick in the 3rd row. Plus one of our friends kept yelling, “YOU SUCK DAN DOKKEN!” until we told him that the guy’s name was Don. Gooood times.
What makes you smile?
Kids, Dremels, electronics, CDs, and the whooooosh of a turbo.
What puts you on edge?
Truly unpredictable people.
What soothes you?
Slayer or any tumultuous music. It’s weird.
What physical attribute attracts you to those you’re attracted to?
Make ‘em tall, short, dark, light, whatever. Just give them curves.
What personality trait does it?
They have to be nice to me for chrissakes.
What’s your best physical feature?
My eyes.
What’s your worst?
My kidneys.
What’s your best personality trait?
A tie between a sense of humor and a sense of loyalty.
What’s your worst?
Procrastination.
I’d rather be…
Fixing something.
November 8th, 2005 at 1:39 pm
I learn something new everyday….where the heck have you been? I sent you an email. Answer please! Tell GF hello!! Miss you guys. Baby will be here soon. OH GOSH.
November 8th, 2005 at 7:29 pm
if i was a cruel sister, i would tell you that i spent my weekend at amoeba music in s.f. but….it would be a partial lie. ok, so i was in san francisco, and i was told by our darling cousin and her husband how much you LOVED amoeba records and that i should go just to make you jealous. unfortunately we didn’t make it. i know, you’re thinking, “how can we be related?” your sister was in s.f. within walking distance of haight/ashbury and she didn’t go to amoeba. well, i was too busy driving around oakland going to scrap stores. my brother likes cds. i like to make stuff out of old cds.
November 9th, 2005 at 9:16 am
I SO remember no ga-nus is good ga-nus - but wtf is that from?!
And wait, isn’t a wigged out Lancer from Gran Turismo?
November 9th, 2005 at 10:42 am
I’m sooo stealing this one. And, “don’t be a pussy with colour” is a very attractive thing for a man to say. Men are always so colour conservative.
November 9th, 2005 at 5:08 pm
OK, I’m stealing this one, too. Good answers.
November 9th, 2005 at 11:08 pm
Viv: It’s from a little guy named Gary Gnu. It’s the Greaaaat Space Coaster. Get on board, it’s the great space coaster, get on board….
AP & K: I’m a big fan & proud to have you borrow.
November 14th, 2005 at 2:21 pm
What is your ideal amount of sleep?7 hours
Diamonds or pearls?whichever i can sell for the most cake
What was the last film you saw?willi wonka (new) sucked watch the old one
What is your favorite TV show?family guy
What did you have for breakfast?nothin’
What is your middle name?M
What is your favorite cuisine?the one that tastes good
What foods do you dislike?sea food
What is your favorite footwear?none
Your favorite CD at the moment?Millencolin “Kingwood”
What kind of car do you drive?
A black, tinted out Honda Civic SI without a big ass wing on it.
Characteristics do you despise?lack of imagination
Are you superstitious?Nah.Favorite item of clothing?jeans
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
bora bora
What is the best color for a room?
don’t care, who looks while u watch tv or sleep enyway
Favorite brand of clothing?no-name
Where would you retire?bora bora I said!!
Favorite time of day?the moment i get out of work
Where were you born?Fitchburg, MA
Favorite sport to watch?roller derby
Last book you read?
“Final Truth” by william earle Don’t read itll give you nightmares (if you finish it)
What are you afraid of?Ticks
What laundry detergent do you use?White
Favorite non-alcoholic drink?fanta orange soda right now
Are you a morning person or a night owl?morning
Do you have pets?no
Any new and exciting news you would like to share?
my kid is almost 6 months old.
What (who) did you want to be when you were little?
hit man , still do
Favorite Candy?sour patch kids
Favorite childhood memory?swimming with mom and sis
What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
dish washer,cook,record store degenerate, water meter installer,helicopter mech., and machine fixer at the bread factory in sweden
The piece of technology that you would make out with if it had lips:none
Piercings:none Eye color:blue Ever been to another continent?i live in sweden does that count?
Ever love someone so much it made you cry?yes
Ever hate someone so much it made you scream?
more than one (person and scream)
Been in a car accident?
four or five but only one was my fault of course
Croutons or bacon bits?
croutons thase “bacon bits” are just rotten toenails
What would you be if money didn’t matter?me
Favorite restaurant?
B-fast-Perry’s place in Hyannis Lunch- the chinese place in Duxbury Dinner- any outback will do
Favorite flower? gypsy rose
Favorite ice cream?
The one at Twin Acres (cape cod) with the chocolate cake in it
I like the smell of ___ but hate the smell of _____.
pussy, yogurt (you asked)
If they paid me to ___, I’d me a millionaire.
slave for the man
Favorite fast food restaurant?dunkin dounutsDo you believe in Karma?
Who the hell is Karma?
Pay the pros or do it yourself?depends
From whom did you get your last e-mail?Tina
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?amazon.com
What do you do most often when you are bored?jerk…..
Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?
no one
Who’s the last person you went to dinner with? My beaotch
What are you listening to right now?
The hum of a 120 mil fan (isn’t everyone?)
City mouse or country mouse?Rat
What is your favorite color?clear
Lake, Ocean or River?
Ocean come on..
How many tattoos do you have?uno
Do you go for the best, the best deal, or the best price?
first on the shelf
All Time Favorite Concert?
too tuff I’ve only been to a thousand. Slayer at the Channel was rawkin’
What makes you smile?
my bitches, big block’s, and the number one kill slot on Halo online!!
What puts you on edge?
(Jon answered me??) a diving board
What soothes you?aloe
What physical attribute attracts you to those you’re attracted to?bitches
What personality trait does it? able to have a conversation without the words “on sale” in it
What’s your best physical feature?penis? ask the wife
What’s your worst?
I’ve got teeth like a prizefighting rat
What’s your best personality trait?
obnoxious, sarcastic, i don’t know ask the wife
What’s your worst?i snore sometimes
I’d rather be… under the sea in an octopuss’ garden with you… bitches
(I watch too much Dave chappelle, bitch)