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RSSFire Prevention Week: Fuck Candles
I drove by a billboard that proclaimed, “Use candles with care. Fire Prevention week October 9-15.”
Men don’t light candles, so this one goes out to the ladies. Five years ago, a candle in my house was left unattended for 10 minutes and burned my house in 20.
Total Cost: 2 years and $200,000 USD.
Total Gain: 1 expensive divorce, 1 #1GF!, and some worthy experiences.
Talk is cheap, so here are some pictures.
My clock
my stairs
1600 of my records
And me.
I don’t care what week it is, ladies. Fuck unattended candles.
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October 13th, 2005 at 4:12 am
HOLY SHIT! Man! I feel for ya! If that ever happened to me… I just don’t know how I would react. Losing the records would have been devastating.
So I share your view… FUCK UNATTENDED CANDLES!
October 13th, 2005 at 9:32 am
So sad to relive that terrible time. Even I agree #$@& unattended candles!
October 13th, 2005 at 7:17 pm
My reaction:
My street was blocked off with fire hoses that night, and I had to run 2 blocks full sprint thinking that the neighbor’s kids or the old people next door might be in trouble. When I pushed through the crowd watching, all I could say was, “That’s my fucking house.”
When the firemen finally said it was safe enough to go in to grab a few valuables before it got boarded up, I came out with an address book and a Mr. T bank and said “Well, I think that’s it.”
The Mr. T. head watches over my living room to this day.
October 13th, 2005 at 8:33 pm
OH MY GOD!!
October 14th, 2005 at 4:33 pm
Unless you’re cookin’ some meat stay away from fire kids. Were you at least able to sell the clock as a Dali?
October 17th, 2005 at 8:46 am
Holy shit, that is so unbelievably fucking awful. How did you just pick up and go on? BTW - that is a great picture with the clock.
October 18th, 2005 at 6:20 am
Honestly, I’ve never felt as free as in the hour after that fire. I can remember walking around a supermarket owning nothing but a car, a Mr. T. head and the smokey clothes on my back. Then, I bought a toothbrush and it all fell apart.
October 19th, 2005 at 9:34 am
Wow, that’s tragic and cool at the same time. I shall be fucking all the unattended candles I can find from now on. I don’t even wanna know why you have a Mr. T head.
October 19th, 2005 at 5:23 pm
Although that’s hot, Vivian, I’m going to suggest that you stay away from churches and vigils. People at those things have poor senses of humor about candle humpers and you’ll probably just end up burned by pure volume.
Anyway… I bought the Mr. T. bank at a yard sale from a guy who wanted $.50 for it, but then noticed it had no plug to keep in the money so he knocked it down to a quarter. As I thought it was the coolest thing that I had ever seen for less than a dollar, I argued to give him the full $.50. I think I drove with it on my dash all day, shaking it at people and talking in a Mr. T. like voice until everyone wanted me dead. When I had a house, it sat in a lighted case built into the wall guarding the stairs (reserved for madonnas, I think). Now, it sits up in the loft pitying my living room. UNGH.
You should know that yours are the only comments that get hung up in Comment moderation limbo… What does WordPress know that I dont?