On the way out today, I was talking about the recent revival of my fascination with DJing since seeing “Scratch.” I happened to be talking about Mix Master Mike, and ended the conversation with, “Once I get 2 turntables and a microphone, I’m outta here.” I think the minute that I had uttered “…tables” a guy in the next row was already on his way over to intercept. He got me on my way by.

MC Interceptor: “Come on, man. You wouldn’t know what to do with two turntables and a microphone.”
DJ Electricujon: “Well, actually, I was a DJ in college all four years and ended up being the Production Director of my college radio station my senior year, so…”
MC Interceptor: “What kind of turntables were they?”
DJ Electricujon: “Technics 1200s, I think…”
MC Interceptor: “S Arm or straight?”
DJ Electricujon: “S arm, I think…”
MC Interceptor: “So you were using magnet drives rather than belt drives…”
DJ Electricujon: “It was a while ago, so I’m not…”
MC Interceptor: “making rotating the turntables back smooth…”
DJ Electricujon: “Oh, they were smooth, I guess…
MC Interceptor: [phone rings] “I gotta take this…”
DJ Electricujon: [to everyone] “Why do I feel like I just got schooled? I’m actually feeling shame here. ”

I’m not claiming to have been Z-trip, but man, I felt like I had been slapped like a pimple-faced poser wearing an Adidas jacket with “Battle Master DJ Jon” sewn on the back for merely mentioning the word “turntable.” Make no mistake about it: I may be nerd school on the outside, but that’s just the coating that keeps the creamy, old school center from oozing all over the room. I really should’ve just stopped talking and started popping and locking right there. No one can find the strength to battle you after you break dance electrocute them.

Yes, yes, y’all. To the beat y’all. Yes, yes y’all. Steady rock, y’all…

(I’ll be cold chillin’ in my fantasy world if anyone needs me.)

Posted in Music, Work