Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (comedy): Harold and Kumar are Stoners. They get high and get a hankerin’ for White Castle Burgers. On the way, there are a lot of fart jokes. B. (Those lacking in testosterone, or not appreciative of a good fart joke would probably give this a C.)

Little Black Book (comedy?): Girl loves Carly Simon. Girl loves boyfriend. Girl sticks her nose into her boyfriend’s little black book, and hilarity should ensue. It doesn’t. And what the hell does Carly Simon have to do with anything in this movie? If I had big boobs and tear ducts, I may have given this movie a B. Then again, if I had big boobs and tear ducts, I’d probably skip this one in favor of some lesbian porn or fondling my boobs in the mirror. But, I don’t. So, C.

Anchorman (comedy): Will Ferrell was great in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. He is always funny and as fast as Robin Williams on a coke binge. Unfortunately, this movie suffers from the same issues that curses SNL and a plethora of their spin off movies: No matter how funny your lead is, or how quirky the character is, the movie is going to suck if you don’t spend some money on writing some semblance of a story to hold people’s interest for 2 hours. C

Shaun of the Dead (horror/comedy): Rule Number 1: If the name of your movie is a parody, don’t give me some haughty bullshit about wanting to be “true to the horror genre” by making a real horror movie. If you want to make a horror movie, call it “Bloodbath” or “Day of the Dead VII.” If you name the movie “Shaun of the dead”, you better give me the humor and gore of “Return of the Living Dead” or “Evil Dead,” and not “Dawn of the Dead” with English people acting a little funny. Gahd. I’ve taken scarier craps. And probably funnier ones. Big fat C.

Garden State (romantic comedy?): Zach Braff from the TV show, Scrubs, wrote, directed, and starred in this boy meets girl movie. For a directorial debut, I was really impressed. It had some good camera work, a good story, and the acting was pretty good, too. It suspended my disbelief, which is rare. A

We don’t Live Here Anymore (drama): The tagline is “Is it adultery if no one cares?” I honestly can say that after this movie, I couldn’t care less, so probably not. This was so slow that my GF apologized several times while I was amused by the ceiling fan. I think that they should show this to today’s film students simply to torture them for all the crap that they will trick me into renting in the future. C

The Office Season 1 (BBC TV comedy): There’s a British office. It’s full of idiots. I laughed, but not a hell of a lot. C+

Sex in the City Season 1 (TV/comedy): It’s clever and funny, and after the first episode, I have no problem watching another. Somewhere around episode 5, my tolerance wears incredibly thin and I can think of nothing more pleasant than choking the shit out of Sara Jessica Parker and her high-heeled, high maintenance friends. B+ (in small doses)

Absence of Malice (drama): The local newspaper screws over Paul Newman, and he’s at the height of his career and has not ventured into salad dressings, yet, and chicks dig him, so he’s going to spend a couple of hours acting macho and serving up some lame ass payback. This was probably really good when America liked Sally Field and had never seen a plot twist, but even for free on cable, this movie was bunk. C

* Vacation Special Edition

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