Found Inspiration
People can do wonderful things with web design and CSS. I do my best, but I am not one of them. The people who created CSS Zen Garden make me want to re-design the site, but I don’t think I’ll ever hit that level. If I could though, you would worship me. Wouldn’t you? Just say “Yes” and I’ll stop pestering you.

Found Another Blog
Big Whoop, right? Geese Aplenty

Found A Movie Review #2386253
Along Came Polly (comedy): This is supposed to be one of those feel good chick flicks where the ugly dude (Ben Stiller) gets the Girl (Jennifer Aniston). The only things that you will remember is A. Jennifer Aniston dirty dancing in a see through tank top, B.) A really funny character played by Hank Azaria, and C.) Jennifer Aniston dirty dancing in a see through tank top. I laughed a few times, but I have to give this the old C+.

Found a Little Problem
The IRS just sent me a letter to the tune of…

Dear Jon,
We think that either you or your preparer may have fucked up your tax return way back in 2002. We just got to it now, because we’re really…uh thorough and we’ve been told that old Georgie needs the cash.
Just send us $528.00 this month and we’ll call it even. Although, we may tag on some penalties. And some fees. And some other stuff that’ll cost you. But, hey you can afford it big guy! This is America!

Love,
The IRS

Crap hell crap.

Found A Worm
On my way to my car this morning, I saw a worm inching its way slowly across the parking lot. As I stared at it, covered in bits of gravel and following the longest possible course to the grass, I thought, “I should help.” I do the same thing with snails I find on the walkway. I pick them up and put them in the shade so that they don’t fry like the stupid crinkled up worms couldn’t find their way to the grass.

As I reached down to throw the worm onto the grass, I stopped. What if this worm was meant to die on the pavement? What if it were to end a bad genetic line of worms too stupid to avoid pavement on hot days? What if I was interrupting the natural food chain and robbing some ants or a bird of a meal? What if, like Eckels in Ray Bradbury’s A Sound of Thunder, I was imposing disorder on a natural order, and making a mess of the future? What if I end up living alone with 15 cats?

I thought all this in thirty seconds while staring at a worm. A worm. What am I a Buddhist? As I wasn’t sure if I had replenished my glove-box stash of Dunkin’ Donuts napkins to wipe the worm slime off my hand, I gave up and let the worm be.

In hindsight, this was probably for the best, although I later realized that I probably backed over it with my car.

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