Today, a co-worker asked if I wanted to get into a pool of megamillions tickets. It was $10 to get in, and there are approximately 40 people in the pool. I declined and was given the “loser” handsign.

As far as I know, only 1 other person in the office seems to have grasped the concepts of both simple math and human nature. Let’s take these one at a time so that the folks at home understand.

First, the math: The odds of winning the $155 million mega-millions jackpot are 1 in 135,145,920. If your group plays a whopping 400 tickets, there are now 135,145,520 combinations left that could still come up, and you are now splitting the jackpot 40 ways. Same odds, 40 times less money.

My optimism leads me to my second point. Let’s say you and your 39 co-workers actually beat the odds and win. How much of your winnings do you think you’ll have to spend to hire the bounty hunter to extract the holder of the winning ticket from Me-hi-co? And once you do, how many of your lawyer’s $275 hours will be spent getting your rightful 1/40th of the $500 left that your co-worker did not spend on coke and hookers?

I bet you wouldn’t even have enough to talk to Dr. Funk of Tahiti. Drop by my desk, leave a dollar, and I’ll give you a 1 in 100 odds that you get a $4 payout.

And for $4, the Doctor is in.

Posted in Work