Over the last few months, the place I work has been busy putting giant boulders and steel poles all around its buildings, I assume to prevent a truck bomb from running into the building. It looks very daunting and secure.

Lately, I’ve noticed that the security guards have been re-outfitted in black S.W.A.T. uniforms, complete with jack boots. The ones by the gate even have ninja-like masks. It looks very daunting and secure.

The only problem with these security measures is that they are an illusion, which, according to Sun Tsu, is a perfectly valid strategy (”If you are weak, feign strength. If you are strong, feign weakness.”). I would argue that the measures are actually ineffective and possibly detrimental to security.

Let’s start with the rocks and posts: Not only do they call to attention to the general population that there must be something in the building is worthy of protection, but they bring with them a very specific connotation: that of a car bombing. By planting the rocks, ideas are planted into people’s heads, leading to discussion of circumvention of the barricades. With with several large breaks that someone could easily get a vehicle through at relatively high rate of speed without coming near the rocks, the wall is ineffective. A wall is only effective if there are no holes. When there is no wall, there are no holes to see, and lack of direction prevents most people from seeing the lack of a wall as a very large existing hole. The wall actually directs people to look for holes. What once was hidden in plain sight, is now screaming for all to look at the holes in it’s perimeter.

Now that you have the average person seeking theoretical ways to get around your security measures, you need to have guards around, which brings us to the second point: If you’re going to post people that look like commandos, they better be commandos. If I walk around the street in a karate uniform, people are going to assume that I know Karate. If I go to a Karate tournament in one, someone is going to expect that I know Karate, and use a stronger offense expecting more resistance. Then, I’m going to get my ass kicked big time.

See, jack boots make normal, non-bomb toting citizens feel overpowered, but I believe that they would produce a harder hit from someone trained in the soldierly arts, as he or she would expect someone who looks like S.W.A.T. to act like S.W.A.T.. So, when the attacker comes in even heavier than is necessary under the assumption that he or she will be dealing with militarily trained individuals, he or she actually is assured success in a breach. Thus, the jack boots create a bigger mess than they are designed to prevent.

When I’m famous, my bodyguards will be Uzi toting Ninjas, who look just like 90 year old men, compete with white belts and pink shirts. They will also never really look like they’re guarding me, so as not to draw attention to the fact that I might be someone that needs guarding. I’d rather be prepared for engagement, than look prepared for one.

Then again, what do I know?

Posted in Philosophical BS, Work