The ex wife sent me an e-mail thinking that I might’ve heard that she had her baby and that I might be interested in seeing the pictures. Man, I showed everyone at work and boy, were they proud! Then, we all had cigars and celebrated. About midway through the three day party, I suggested that, given the fact that my ex made my divorce so easy, we should all go down to Baby Gap and get some gifts! I told the shopkeep, “Shopkeep, give me the biggest and best goddamned present that money can buy!” and the woman brought me a beautiful golden ass, which we promptly purchased.

Wait. Shit. No. That’s not right. After I read the e-mail, I knew that it was a fake, as the baby did not seem to have horns. I also don’t remember the moon turning to blood or the seas boiling, though I could’ve been playing video games or something. Then, I showed it to my cube mates, who kind of stared at the e-mail in silence until someone said, “She doesn’t get it, at all, does she?”

Given the amount of trouble this woman has put me through, I didn’t get it, either. I prefer not to follow her life at all, and I have never actually given a thought to how she is, or what she’s doing. Given that all of my dealings with her involved some form of major financial loss, after I was no longer required to deal with her, I didn’t. I closed the door, and I sort of left her perpetually pregnant in my mind. So, I had no idea that she had the baby, or why she thinks that I might be interested.

To me, she is a snapshot in a box, a moment in time, a thing forgotten.

Posted in Anger