WWDLRD? “What would David Lee Roth do?” is something that I came across years ago that we all can use to answer even the toughest of life’s questions. For example: It’s Tuesday. Do you: A.) go out with your buddies, or B.) study for the exam? Before you make that tough decision, ask yourself, WWDLRD? Would Dave pick A or B? Neither, bitches. Dave would pick C.) Do a cartwheel and go find some hot women. Hummalazeebala.

Right on! Thanks, Dave!

I thought WWDLRD? was pretty common, so I checked Google. The only things that came up were lists that seemed really familiar. As I was reading through them, I noticed the mention of “Seka”, (my friend Tim’s band that was really short lived, and not too well known), and Roadsaw (the band I did a website for).

As I read, I realized that these lists were copied and/or modified from a list that I created for Roadsaw’s website back in 1999. I couldn’t imagine anyone quoting me, so I looked for my original list and found that I had indeed written what I was reading years before.

Here is the original list. It doesn’t make me famous, but I can’t believe that people actually found and copied it…

You Are/Were a Metalhead If… (75 Clues That You Might Be a Metalhead)

1. You at one time tried to make the sawblade wrist bands that Blackie Lawless wore AND/OR you tried to make the Kerry King nail armband.
2. You know that the Dio logo turned upside down reads “devil.”
3. “NOT” was in your vocabulary.
4. You remember when Metallica was never on the radio or MTV.
5. You were in love with Lita Ford or Doro Pesch.
6. You saw the movie Trick Or Treat.
7. You constantly had to explain to people that “Bon Jovi is not metal and he SUCKS.”
8. When you watch MTV News you recognize Megadeth’s “Peace Sells” bass line at the end of the segment.
9. You liked the Beastie Boys because Kerry King played guitar on “License to Ill”.
10. The brim of your baseball cap was turned upward with MOSH written on it.
11. A D.R.I. mosh guy and Misfits t-shirts were must-haves.
12. “Poser” was in your vocabulary.
13. You learned a little history by listening to Iron Maiden.
14. You or someone you knew had “The Number Of The Beast” album cover painted on the back of their denim jacket AND/OR your denim vest was covered with pins and embroidered patches.
15. You had discussions on Metallica vs. Megadeth.
16. “Caught in a mosh” was going to be the title of your A&E Biography.
17. You wore Jams.
18. You played “I’m The Man” to some of your rap friends.
19. You had albums on Combat Records.
20. You thought German metal would be the next big thing.
21. Bands like Poison, Winger, Trixter, Kix, and all the bands with the word “White” in their name were killing you.
22. You know how to pronounce and spell Yngwie Malmsteen.
23. Chicks in high hair and spandex ruled.
24. Guys in high hair and spandex sucked.
25. You really hated Tipper Gore.
26. You secretly liked Queensryche.
27. You wrote on your pants.
28. Your pants were in their prime when they ripped.
29. At every show there was one black metalhead (and you thought that was pretty cool).
30. You can name all the members of SEKA.
31. You think Cliff Burton should be canonized.
32. You find that “Angel of Death” would make a catchier national anthem than the Star Spangled Banner.
33. You find yourself yelling “SLAYER!” at shows they don’t even play.
34. You think Iron Maiden is classic rock.
35. You thought Ministry was dance music.
36. You won’t drive in a car if there’s no tape deck.
37. You wore fingerless gloves even in 90 degree weather.
38. You wanted to draw comic books for a living
39. You thought Chris Holmes was cool in Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years.
40. You can name every guitarist Ozzy had after Randy Rhoads.
41. You thought KISS actually meant Knights In Satan’s Service.
42. You always remember the “J” in Yngwie J. Malmsteen.
43. You think the higher the hair, the better the woman.
44. You wish Ozzy was your dad.
45. You thought hair shorter than shoulder length was selling out.
46. You thought hanging earrings were tough.
47. You had a skull ring.
48. You regularly measured your hair to see how long it got, and felt intimidated by guys with longer hair than you.
49. All your favorite songs had one note bass lines.
50. Ozzy could fart in a microphone, and you would force yourself to like it.
51. You fought over whether Motley Crue’s makeup made them Glam.
52. Camouflage shorts/pants were a good portion of your wardrobe.
53. You thought the measure of a man was how high he could sing.
54. You owned either leather pants, a leather vest, or chaps, and you’re not a cowboy.
55. You don’t feel tardy, awwww you think the clock is slow.
56. You know that after “Nothing else matters”, nothing Metalica put out did.
57. Your most memorable concerts had 15 minute guitar, bass, and drum solos.
58. You’re working hard to bring back baseball t-shirts.
59. You KNOW in your heart that the mullet haircut WILL come back someday.
60. You refer to Roadsaw as the ’saw, and Judas Priest as ‘Priest.
61. You knew what Steve Vai was “saying” to Dave on his guitar.
62. You know the difference between M.O.D., S.O.D., and D.R.I.
63. You fully lace up your work boots only for weddings.
64. You think that concerts without explosions are a “rip-off”.
65. You think that a concert with under 5 encores is a “rip-off”.
66. You cut the sleeves off of your denim jacket so it would fit over your leather jacket.
67. You owned either shorts or a sleeveless t-shirt with the British flag on it.
68. You remember when the quality of a band was directly proportional to the “slutiosity” of its groupies.
69. Like a cape to a bull, white baseball caps triggered a violent response in you.
70. You thought it was funny to ask for a “bottle of anything and a glazed doughnut to go” at the kwiki-mart.
71. You thought that wearing a leather vest WITH a shirt was a fashion faux-pax.
72. “Old School” was in your vocabulary.
73. When confronted with tough life decisions you ask yourself, “What would David Lee Roth do?”
74. You have had a subscription to one or more metal magazines.
75. You give people the hand sign of the devil when they do something cool.

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